Toilet training and constipation

[glamourbadger]

My DD is coming up to 4 and still struggling with her toileting. She is often constipated so associates doing a poo with pain. She refuses to do a proper poo on the toilet and does little jobbies in her pants around 5 times a day (sorry if TMI!!).

Does anyone have any advice or ideas? She has been taking a prescribed fibre supplement and probiotic for the last couple of years and we have done everything we can with food - have even been to see the nutritionist at the hospital.

Am at my wits end! Fed up with washing pooey pants - any advice gratefully received.

Do you have a copy of the Poo goes home to Pooland book? I can email you a copy if you like?

DS1 also suffered with terrible constipation (still does to some extent) and we have only just really sorted toilet training now he is in Reception class (he's 4.6yo now). We still have to spot the signs that he needs to go and encourage him onto the toilet before its too late though, as he will still put off going in case it hurts.

I sit with him and read him stories to take his mind off it and provide him with toddler wipes to clean himself up with.

It is hard work so I feel your pain. It is especially depressing when it feels like other peoples DC's were potty trained years ago and you are made to feel like it is your fault somehow....which it is not.

Hi Washersaurus, I've only just had the chance to pick this up. Poo goes home to Pooland - classic. I can't see it on Amazon though can't imagine it's a bestseller! Would love a copy if you get a minute geri at gerireid dot com.

You sound far more patient than me. I'm really struggling not to lose my rag (though after cleaning 2 pairs of pooey pants in the IKEA toilets today I can imagine even Mother Theresa might have been slightly irked

It's hard not to compare. My constipated DD has a twin sister who we potty trained very easily and now goes to the loo on her own with no fuss. Has made me realise it's down to the individual child rather than anything you do as a parent.

. Anyone else have any suggestions?

Hi glamourbadger

Sorry I've nothing to add but that I'm in a similar boat to you. Ds is 2.7 and still in nappies but the potty training has been severely hindered by his chronic constipation (he has had since only 12 mths).

"little jobbies around 5 times a day" - I soooo hear you.

DS will not, and I mean WILL NOT go on the potty when he needs to poo, and screams and thrashes at all our attempts to get him there. The poo is nice and soft now because of his medication (sorry if TMI!) so I reckon it's all psychological now (he associates the poo with pain which I can totally understand).

Washersaurus - if you could email me a copy of the poo goes to pooland too that would be GREAT (sam underscore c underscore reid at hotmail dot com).

Sorry for the highjack, but I'm here for handholding if nothing else

Hi VFemme

I think our problem is psychological too. Poo = pain. She will say she needs a poo and refuse to sit on the toilet/potty for more than 10 seconds. As soon as she's back downstairs it's in her pants.

She is on Movical which makes the 'stools' soft and easy to pass so I can't see that they are still causing her pain. We've also started her on a prescribed pro-biotic, am interested to see if that has a positive effect (I think it takes a good few months to make a difference).

I've just order this book from Amazon, I'll let you know if it's any good.

And I will hold your but only if you promise to wash them regularly .

glamourbadger - I have had similar problems with my dd who is nearly 3 and a half, been toilet training for 6 months and she still won't poo on toilet. She also had problems with constipation and was put on movicol.

She too was doing lots of small amounts in her pants throughout the day and constantly needing to go but I decided that what she was actually doing was trying to withhold but failing because the movicol was making it come out all the time. So she wasn't actually constipated anymore but it was now a psychological issue.

So i stopped the movicol and she is a lot better but I've had to resort to letting her do it in a nappy which is the only thing she is happy to do at the moment. I feel that if I can get her pooing properly even if it's in a nappy then we are making progress and eventually will move to toilet, but I've no idea if this is the "right" thing to be doing.

I also bought that book but didn't find it massively helpful to me unfortunately!

Hi, sorry have only just seen you came back!

The pooland book is actually a pdf colouring book that someone else emailed to me - it is funny and helps to raise smiles all round. Let me have your email address and will forward it to you.

We also used Movicol for a long time but stopped it shortly before toilet training as we couldn't get the dosage right to stop accidental leakage - maybe this could be part of the problem for you? Our big problem is the psychological issue about the pain .

We kept a potty downstairs until pretty recently so that we could be close by for him if he needed us. He is making progress now I should add, I still have to prompt him to go for a poo, but we have far less in the pants.

We still have issues with leaving it too late to pee, leading to extreme soreness though.....

Hello there

I really should click

Hi

I can totally sympathise. My 3yo is on two different laxatives, morning and night, to ensure that she does actually poop. She has previously held it in for a week at a time and suffered UTIs because of it

Now she's actually going we're trying to move from poop in the nappy to poop on the potty, but it's not easy. Indigoblue - our paediatrician has prescribed this course of action, so it does seem to be the "right" thing to do. We have stickers for pooping (even in the nappy), stickers and presents for on the potty.

I would love a copy of that book please

We have It Hurts When I Poop, which I wouldn't recommend (halfway through it tells a rather irrelevant story imo, and it likens the tummy-ache pain of needing to poop with being poked in the stomach with a stick ).

Ah, I assumed I could send you a message, thus avoiding posting my email address on here. Now you can all see I'm wet behind the ears .

Please could you send me a copy of the book lacoccinelleetlepapillon at gmail dot com

Thank you!

Hi ladies

Have had the same experience as lots of you. DS1 had severe withholding and constipation from about age two, steadily getting worse and worse until by the time he was 2.9 we got him onto Movicol. It worked wonders and we were so pleased to get him regular (on approx a sachet a day split into morning and evening doses in milk).

All was ok until I tried to potty train him. Was late to do it anyway as he had no interest so he was 3.2. Wees were no problem but he pooed his pants regularly for approx three (loooong) months. I was at my wits end, felt like he didn't care and wasn't even trying as I knew he could go on the loo but always seemed to poo in his pants two or three times whilst out for less than two hours. As glamourbadger said, always "little jobbies" and I remember yelling at him that if he had to poo in his pants yet again could he blooming well do the whole poo instead of just little bits.

Anyhow. I really do think the Movicol was at least partly to blame. He finally stopped suddenly pooing in his pants when two things happened. One was stopping the Movicol and the other was hosing him down in the shower with freezing cold water to get his bottom clean . I didn't intentionally stop the Movicol at the same time but he had just had a slightly dodgy tummy and so I held back for a day or two until that cleared up and lo and behold, he never pooed in his pants again .

I was really nervous before of stopping the Movicol but whilst at the time I was sure the cold shower was what gave him the incentive to poo on the loo, it must have also helped that he no longer had Movicol (and has thankfully not had to have it since and we are now 6 months on).

Do you think you could dare to stop the Movicol (I always presumed I would have to wean him off it v gradually), just for a few days, to see if it helps? Sorry now I have previewed my post I can't read all the others so sorry if you have tried this already.

BTW glamourbadger, I sympathise even more, you have the pooey pants and twins! Me too. Except poopantsman was DS1 and I have yet to embark on potty training my twins.

Sorry me again. I realise that whilst my post explains how DS1 stopped doing the "little jobbies" it doesn't really help explain how i got him to sit on the loo!

I drew a "poo reward chart" for him (I copied it from reward chart on supernanny website I think, but drew it myself instead of printing hers), and basically changed it a bit so that every third step on the chart was a reward step. I stuck a pic of DS1 onto some blue tack and then every time he managed a poo on the loo he moved one step up the chart. So every three poos he got a reward. They were mainly v small things (less than a fiver) and it was slow going but it did seem to help as sometimes as I tried to hold him kicking and screaming onto the loo and he did the rigid back thing and refused to sit, I could remind him that one more poo on the loo meant a new present, and then he would (sometimes) relax his body and sit down letting the poo come out!

So sorry guys; I have only just got around to emailing you all. Your poo books should be in your inbox now ...sorry for the delay.

Ladybug&butterfly - Thanks, makes me feel better knowing that what I'm doing may work eventually.

Egg - the reward chart with their photo on it sounds like a good idea, I might try that. Have tried reward charts before but might work better if she can relate to it more.

All I know is that it's a very long and frustrating process. Plus all of my friends children have toilet trained relatively easily so feels like I'm the odd one out! It is good to speak to other people who know what it's like!

Thank you, Washersaurus

IndigoBlue - we've felt the same way. Everyone else's children have trained no problem, even those much younger. It's been a very lonely and frustrating process but we do, finally, seem to be getting somewhere. Good luck!

Just joined the thread. My 3year old DD has similar problem, she can go a whole week then produce really hard golf ball poos which obviously makes her cry a lot too. She becomes really withdrawn, tired and grumpy when constipated. We managed to sort it out with Lactalose Liquid, then started potty training and now we are back to square one. Dr said it is really common with toddlers but offered no other advice so I'm watching here now for any tips.

This is a really interesting thread as we are having the same problem wees were simple but poos a whole different matter i've tried same tactics for poos as i did for wees but it's just not working. Washersaurus any chance you could email me as well, yvonne at richandyvonne dot karoo dot co dot uk

I'm so happy to find this thread, and find so many of you that are in the same boat, that I've just registered with Mumsnet when I should be going to sleep, just so I can join in.
My 3.3 yo DS (am new to forum speak so be patient) is sorted with pees for a couple of months (although often has to be reminded otherwise it causes him pain). But poos are causing me and him a lot if anxiety - he did a couple on the loo/potty early on, but nothing since - it's all in his pants, or in his nappy at night, or once in the bath. He used to be regular once a day, but now saves it up every couple of days so that I begin to expect it and really try to encourage him to sit on the loo (which he won't do). He even tells me he has a tummy ache and I know there's one coming in the next hour or so, but he won't do it on the loo. Seems to prefer standing up, and when it does come he doesn't seem to be able to give any warning/hold it in.
Anyway, juniperberry - it's interesting you say about being withdrawn and grumpy - I am convinced that a lot of his mood swings are based around the poo anxiety/internal imbalance (a lot is just toddler tantrums I'm sure!). Also I think his eating habits/appetite is affected too.
Sorry washersaurus if you get time can you email to me pls? Padfielda1 at aol dot com. Thanks

Watching this to get useful tips when less pissed tired...

Sorry, this thread had dropped off my active convo's. I'm pretty sure you are all sorted for pooland books from the other thread now, but if not let me know and I will email it to you.

Please could you email me a copy of the poo goes home book. Been trying to get it from NHS for my autistic girl.

[email protected]

Thanks