sending a 5 year old to school in nappies?!

[marykat2004]

I'm nor sure where this goes so putting it here.

D IS potty trained at home. But she has developed a phobia of the toilet at school (she is in reception. she also went to full time state nursery for a year where the toilets were in the class room and she only very rarely wet herself).

yesterday DD went to to a party after school. when DH picked her and brought her home, she was wet all the way to her feet. she had wet herself several times during the day and not bothered to tell anyone. to be that completely soaked she must have done several wees.

she comes home from school wet 3 to 4 days a week. there is no way of telling how many hours of the day she has been wet. this certainly must be uncomfortable for her, as well as unhealthy in the cold weather, and also she smells of urine. it is unpleasant but DD shows no remorse and seems happy to walk around soaked in urine all day.

can i send her to school in nappies at least until the weather gets warmer?

thanks

no you need to speak to the staff at school to sort out the toilet phobia and ensure she is going to the toilet, and not sitting in wet clothes all day

Yes, definitely speak with your child's teacher. Putting your child in nappies might be a short term solution but it's not going to help in the longer term. I can't believe the school is happy for her to be wet and smelly all day.

I'd also consider going to see your GP- perhaps you need a referral to the paediatric continence service at your local hospital? I haven't used them myself but have heard very good things about them- in some areas you can self refer.

Speak to the staff at the school. She should not be walking around wet without anyone noticing

DS has a phobia for the schools in toilet when he started reception. They were flushing really loudly and water was really cascading out. He found it terrifying. We spoke to the teacher, and she took the time to follow him to the toilet, and stay with him while he flushed so she could reassure him it was nothing to be scared of. It worked, It took a week or so and he was happy to go by himself.

He never does a poo in school though, so I make sure he does one every morning.

DD says that the children don't flush the toilet at her school. I wonder if it is the same kind of toilet or something.

It also really annoyed me that DH picked DD up to take her to the party and didn't notice.

i don't know how much she smells, i guess they don't smell like adults but still, the idea of walking around wet most of the day seems awful.

Agree with the advice to speak to the class teacher. They will organise for her to to be able to go with a friend or TA and will use gentle reminders for her to go regularly.

Poor DD being so anxious about the toilets that she is wet for long periods of time.

Very that the teacher doesn't notice that a child is wet in school. You definitely need to talk to them and get them to help her.

DS used to be similar but they developed strategies to help him. DD used to just get so engrossed in what she was doing that she'd forget to go and then it would be too late!

No don't send her in nappies. It's unlikely that the teacher/TA will change them. Also it sends a message to your DD that she can continue wetting herself.

Contact your school nurse (the school can give you the number) and ask for a meeting with the nurse and the school staff to develop a toileting programme.

It isn't actually that hard to miss a girl who has wet herself, if they are in tights and a dress, it is usually the knickers and top half of the tights that get wet and with the dress covering it up it is hard to spot if a child doesn't tell someone.

If she has been coming home wet 3-4 days a week, have you raised this previously with the school Op? Seems odd that nothing has been said or done.

I dont see how you can miss a wet child but if you dh missed it as well, i dont suppose you can get too cross the teacher missed it.

I dont think you should put her in nappies, presumerably she has been toilet trained for 2/3 years? that would be a big step back?

You need to talk to the school and sort it. Promoptly before she starts to be teased at school.

Speak to the teacher. Ds was ill in reception and became fetally incontinent. He then developed a phobia about using the school toilets. His teachers were fab. Reminded him about needing to go, they would go to check the cleanliness of the toilet first and clean them if need be (ds also complained about them not being flushed/clean). I sent in a pack of pants, nappy sacks and wet wipes. It lasted about 5 months before it was resolved.

I never sent him in nappies even though he was still wearing a nappy at night. I just thought it was such a backwards step. Not sure what I'd have done if his teachers hadn't been so good about it.

I'm really surprised your dd's teacher hasn't noticed tbh. Surely she must get changed for PE and then it would be noticed?

I spoke with the teacher, and now she and the teaching assistant are reminding DD to go.

thanks for all replies.