Have I started too early..

[Bluemary3000]

My DD is 2yrs 2 months and has poo'd on the potty since about 6 months. Due to the snowy weather last week, I thought I'll start potty training as well I had nothing else to do and couldn't go anywhere.

We started well and only have a few accidents per day, they are normally where she doesn't realise she has wee'd until she has and the others are where she knows she needs to go, but doesn't tell me in time wee's a bit but then stops herself and does the rest on the potty. Other times though she knows she needs to go and waits to be put on the potty.

She is dry after every nap even though we still put a nappy back on her, which she likes. I think its a security thing although I left it on her the other day and she moaned she wanted her big girl pants back on.

She also cant pull her own clothes on, so is completely reliant on me taking her clothes off and getting her to the toilet in time.

It is day 5 and the accidents are still happening. Did I do the right thing with the training or was my whim for dryness just selfish as I now have 15 wk DS and 2 sets of nappies are just too much to handle. Plus my bin gets filled up so quickly now!!!

I have read and also been told that if they have't 'got it' within three days then it is probably too soon. If they are truly ready and aware they will be dry within this time with only the odd accident.

Not being able to get their pants up/down on their own will also cause stress for her and you as well.

By all means keep practicing, keep the potty/ies close by, encourage and reward success.

But you might find at 2yrs 2 months it is too soon to fully potty train. She is still quite young IMO.

The longer you wait the easier it is...it's very true.

What is the percentage of accidents against success? I think that the idea that they should have completely got it in 3 days is a bit optimistic (both my girls took about a week / 10 days). After 5 days I would think it is totally usual for there still to be a fair few accidents, but I would expect the accidents to be declining and the successes to be getting more frequent. If that is not the case then maybe she's not getting it. Maybe keep taking her regularly for a few more days (so the onus is on you to be sure she goes often enough and doesn't wet), then after another week or so start easing back asking her or telling her to go and allowing her to tell you.

As for the clothes issue you really don't have to wait until they are ready to do their own clothes. DD2 was potty trained at 22 months. I always had to help her with her clothes at that age though. She's now nearly 3 and the truth is I still usually help her with her clothes a fair bit, especially now she's all bundled up in winter clothes. She tells me (or whoever - e.g. at nursery she tells a member of staff) and I or they help her. Children of this age are usually accompanied to the loo. They need help with wiping (especially poos) until well past 3 or even 4 so you're going to be there anyway. DD1 didn't become totally independent with clothes until around 4 (buttons / poppers / zips were always a pain, summer with just pants and a skirt were fine). While you are still in the training stage stick to pants and v easy pull on and off trousers or leggings so it's easy for you to get them down in time.

It was Day 7 today and she went to nursery for the first time potty trained (well training) and she only had a few dribbles in her pants with major spillages and she has been dry for the rest of the day. I do keep asking her, just to remind her at the moment, but if tomorrow we have the same then hopefully we will have broken the back of the training.

The daft thing is, is that she is dry after every nap as she goes before and after and for the last couple of days has been dry all night. And I dont think we are ready quite yet though to get rid of her pull pants/nappies plus I think she still like a bit of comfort at night as I wouldn't want to wake up in pool of pee!!! But I think her bladder control is fairly good, I think sometimes she just forgets.

I bought some stretchy trousers today so that we can start to learn how to pull them up and and down and then maybe I can teach her how to sit on a potty by herself without falling off. Funny to watch, but then the wee goes everywhere.

I'm hoping that she will continue to be ok wit it as she hates pooing and was getting to a point where she would put it off so much, she would make herself bleed and scream. (The doctor suggests lacative type food which makes it worse!) With the potty training it seems to be have given her the fear of doing it in her pants and that seems worse so she is obliging in pooing everyday in her potty, so I must say if I have to cope with wee everywhere, just to stop the screaming, then so be it.

Heres hoping to the rest of the week

"I think she still like a bit of comfort at night as I wouldn't want to wake up in pool of pee!!! "

Being dry during the day and night are two completely different issues and the earliest most children are physically ready to be dry at night is from three years old. This is to do with the physical maturity of the bladder.

Don't even think about night dryness at this stage, just keep on with the day time practices and I hope things continue to go well for you.

It sounds like you/she are doing great!

Both my DS were dry in the day at 25 mths and immediately dry for naps (so didn't do nappies then either, I thought it would be confusing).

They both also asked to ditch the night nappies after a month or so of being dry in the day.

It took about a month for them to be reliable (ie we could stay in other people's houses without fear of a wet bed) and we obviously did have some wet sheets, but they woke up and came and got us.

I don't think it's true that they can't be dry at this age, I've seen my two do it (and we, like you, used the potty with them from when they were babies).

All my other friends who left the night-time nappies on for longer are now having trouble with 4/5 yr olds still in night-time nappies (and I'm talking about 6 different people I know, not just 1 exception).

"All my other friends who left the night-time nappies on for longer are now having trouble with 4/5 yr olds still in night-time nappies (and I'm talking about 6 different people I know, not just 1 exception)."

Er, that's probably because it's completely normal for a 4/5 year old to be still in nappies at night.

And not down to the technique, decisions or determination of the parents.

Like all developmental milestones each child will reach them when they are ready to do so. Because they are all different.

You really think it's totally normal for a 4/5 yr old to be in nappies at night?

I am quite by that.

I know that some children are, and of course there are exceptions, but hardly any of our generation were.

A lot of the "leave it til they're (allegedly) ready" stuff is marketing by the nappy companies in whose interests it is to have children in nappies for such a long time.

Yes, I do think it is normal.

It obviously hasn't been your experience, nor mine actually. But I have friends whose children are not yet dry at night aged four and five so I do know it is normal. One friend's DD2 was dry at just over three when her DD1 was still in nappies at night, her DD1 is still not yet dry at night at five and a half. This same mum has tried many different things but nothing has worked so far and she's not alone as there are other children in her DD's year one class not yet dry and even some in the year two class as well. I would hazard a guess that in my DD's reception class that a third would still be in nappies at night.

But the fact that 'all your other friends' are in the same situation must tell you that it is normal.

Wow, thats interesting. I do remember supernany quoting some stats around this (before I am flamed...I don't think she is the complete childcare guru....) on a programme where they had 5 year old twins still in nappies at night because the parents found it easier (lots of other kids to deal with I think) and the research she quoted seemed to imply it was pretty rare still to be in nappies at night by reception. A lot of kids will obviously still have accidents at this age in the night (particularly boys where it can go on a lot longer apparently).

I would have thought a lot of kids would be completely rebel at the idea of wearing a nappy at that age tbh.

Well I think it's normal nowadays because a lot of people think that age 2 is too early and not to even attempt until age 3.

By which time the children have "learnt" to wee in the night in their sleep and I think it's harder for them to unlearn this.

My experience has been that by taking away nappies in the day and at night time fairly close together (led by the child), night-time dryness was fairly easy and "early".

I don't think of my 5 year old as exceptional, nor my 3 year old but as I said, they have both been out of nappies at night for 3 yrs and 1 yr respectively.

If they can do it, why can't the majority of children (specific problems aside of course)?

Again, our generation were NO WAY in nappies at age 5!!!!

I have had the 2nd day of no accidents, even at playgroup, which I thought would result in a bit of wee somewhere as she gets caught up in the moment. But thankfully she let me know when she needed to go.

I bought some pull up pants for nap and bedtime which only has 18 in them and at the moment she only uses 1 per day. I have been advised to see what happens when that pack finishes. My friend just finished her pack of pull ups and put her son to bed without mentioning them at all and just waited to see what happened. He had been dry for a while and so far in 7 months, has had no accidents at night and he is now 3yrs.

I think I am just desperate to get one child out of nappies and only have to buy 1 size. Its a pain when you get somewhere and realise you have the wrong nappy with you!!

Good luck.

I think it is always worth giving it a go ditching the night nappies soon after potty training has been completed in the day (both my DDs were out of night nappies at approx 2.6). I think that most children are quite capable of night time dryness fairly early on. I'd suggest you make the bed up twice i.e. mattress cover, then sheet then disposable bed mat then another sheet so if there is an accident in the night you quickly take off top sheet and disposable bed mat and have another sheet ready to go underneath. Have extra covers to hand too, although usually it's just the sheet that gets wet. Try for 5 nights, see what happens, if it doesn't work leave it 2 months or so and give it another go etc.

Re 4 or 5 yr olds in night nappies, I think the truth is that it is not abnormal or indicative of a problem if a child is still in night nappies at that age. Some children do not achieve night control until up to the age of 7 apparently, and i understand that it is not medically considered an issue until they approach that age. However it is NOT normal for children to be in night nappies at 4 or 5, it is normal for them not to be in nappies, but not necessarily a problem if they still are.

Meant to add, although you cannot train for night dryness a couple of things to help: if she still has bedtime milk, move it forwards to before the bath so it has time to go through her before bed - take her to do a final wee after bath and stories. After around 3pm don't offer any drinks except plain water. She will drink what she needs for thirst but not guzzle down liquids like she might do if you offer juice or squash etc.

Well done on the day times, sounds like you are pretty well there.

Cheers Nellytheelephant, it seems to be going fantastically, we are on day 4 and no more accidents. She did have a poo in the bath last night, but I think she just got a bit over excited. Thankfully she didn't see it as her whipped her out in time as I have a friend who DD did that and wouldn't bath for months afterwards.

She seems to be dry at night now too, well 2 night in a row as she is getting used to weeing before bedtime, but I will use up the pants before going the whole hog. Plus I need to get an extra duvet just in case!!

Well done Bluemary's DD. Fantastic!

Oh how I remember the poos in the bath...eugh.