don't want to pressure DD but can't find any other way

[cyphercat]

DD is 2.7 She often withholds her poo and possibly constipated since she started eating solid food. We tried to potty train without any nappies at all last september and she did very well for a month, and then it went downhill as she didn't want to sit on potty/toilet anymore with my prompting. I decided to give up as I didn't want to pressure her.
She cannot poo in her nappy really because the poo is too big usually so we do routine of meal and then potty time. So sitting two or three times a day while I read her a book, or she watches TV. (lots of persuading and explaning involved and sometimes treat) It has been working for a while but sometimes she refuses to go on potty after meals. Is there anything else I can do to help? I really don't want this to become power struggle again like last failed potty training session. Any advice will be appreciated!!

Give up. Seriously. Give her chance to forget what has gone before. Get different nappies. Plenty of children your DD's age are still in nappies and nowhere near being trained so they must be designed for large poos. She isn't ready and pressure will get you nowhere.

In the month that you say she did well with potty training, do you mean she used the potty for wee and poo? If so, then she has control of her bladder and bowels.

Why do you think she no longer wants to use the potty? What is she afraid of? Is the constipation causing the problem? If so, I think you should talk to your GP about solving the constipation.

What Fab said.

You need a total break from it all, stop talking about it because she will still be feeling the pressure from you. The fact you have used the word 'power struggle' shows that it is a big issue for you, too. (I'm not judging BTW we are struggling with potty training here, too)

Gentle reminders are fine but if she refuses to go accept her answer and leave it alone.

The best advice I got when I was despairing last year was the '30 days of silence' rule, we went back to nappies, no pressure, no talking about it, no promises of rewards etc completely took the pressure off. It helped me too to relax about it all. Things improved a lot when after a month I suggested having knickers again, DD was more self-motivated and the process was less lead by me.

See your GP/HV if you haven't already to come up with a strategy to tackle the constipation.

IME when potty training is being overly lead by the adult the whole process takes sooo much longer and more stressful for all.

Good luck and hope things improve for you.

thank you for your input. We did have complete break after the first potty training session. She did go for pee and poo for a whole month so she does have bladder control, but it was becoming a power struggle. At the moment, I get very upset when she is withholding poo causing her to have very painful poo when she does go. (dry and rock like). I don't mind her being in a nappy at all it's just I don't like her to be in pain. Meal and then potty seemeds to be great solution at the moment (she can't poo in her nappy, she just withholds it) and it's become a routine for her as well so it's not a power struggle except when she's feeling very bad. I should take her to GP and probably show him size of her poo (I took photos of it and maybe that would help GP diagnose it better! it's HUGE, size of her arm).