Not telling or progressing any help

[Elliejane]

Hi

Have posted on here a few times. Just need some help or support. Started to potty train my 2 year and 3mths old son between Xmas and New year . Would sit on potty no problem and then start to pee on it fine. Kept taking him at regular interval and all going good. Problem is 2/3 weeks done line that is same he is not really tellingme he needs at all. He has very little accidents ie only really one pee in his pull ups every few days.

He is at childcare 3 days a week and same there they take him at regular intervals but more spaced out than I do and he has one or 2 accidents a day , Wed he had none. At home it is mostly all ok .

However today he was helping me unpack shopping and had been for pee about 20mins beforehand but a lot of juice also before that and he just peed inhis pull up. He knew he had done it and I said what is wrong and he said nothing and then looked and he had peed took him toilet and he did the rest in toilet. Just not sure how to get him to tell me in advance he needs as times he does do it is normally half done. My other son was no bother just told me right off.

Getting annoyed with this lack of progression. Poos are also not going good and he has become constipated. We praise him when he goes and I have told him hundreds of times to tell me when he needs. Should I just top taking him but feelthen he would just pee and it would be backwards want to keep him going. Still using pullups but really thin ones

Get frustrated a bit but he is doing well. Has been dry at pm naps for a week or so and had had 3 dry nights also so he must have some control. He is not scared of potty. Will it just come that he tells me or do I need to do somthing different?

Thanks for any help

Ellie

It is possible that he hasn't made the connection between having a full bladder and needing to wee, especially as he is being taken to the potty.
At the moment, it is more of a reflex with him.
He sits on the potty and he wees.
He does need to have the experience of having a full bladder and the consequences of wetting himself in order for him to make the connection.
He is still very young for you to be toilet training him.
A lot of boys are still in nappies at thie age, because they are not physically ready to be trained.

Hi Thanks

Not sure if I should carry on or not but nursery say carry on as he is sitting on potty and willing to pee and is keen which they say is half the battle and he also does not have many accidents so had decent bladdre control. He does not always pee every time he sits about 50% 50% but he just said I no need sometimes and I just leave him then try him again later.

My older son was trained fully by 2 years 3mths so hence why I tried my other son around same time and he was showing signs sitting on potty taking pants down etc, I did not exepct him even to sit on a potty so pleased he did that and pees even, guess he will take a good bit longer to master next stage

Just think I would confuse him if I went back to nappies after constant reminding him to pee in potty for past 3 weeks. Will keep trying and maybe go longer before reminding him to see if a few more accidents triggers him to tell me

anyone else had same experience where they will pee in potty fine if you remind them but not tell you they need? Does it just come or not?

Ellie

Is he in pull-ups or normal pants? My DS didn't twig until we put him in proper pants (or cotton training pants that looked like pants). I'd suggest going cold-turkey on the pull-ups if you are using them.

Z x

I second going cold turkey as the pull ups may be confussing him. I am in the middle of PT my DD who is 3yr and 1 mo. I tried with her 2 times before and i did find her not making the connection with the weeing part.. NO 2s no problem she would be on the potty. No 1s would happen before she new what was going on. I finished both times within a couple of days and left her till she felt she was ready. I would stick with the potty training with your Ds as you have come this far, but i would leave the pull ups. Hope this helps, lets hope you DS and my DD get the idea soon...

May I suggest not using pull-ups?

You might find he benefits and learns from feeling wet pants when he has an accident.

Try not to expect too much too soon, at 2 years 3 months it is quite early for boys to 'get it'.

Hello

My son is a little bit older (will be two and a half at the weeknd) but I did exactly the same thing as you and started to train between Xmas and new year. I have also been getting very frustrated with the lack of progress, becasue he will pretty much always wee in the potty but never asks, it's all down to me watching the clock and timing it right. Also, he has never pooed on the potty, always in his pants (he always stands to poo, without fail). He also goes to nursery three mornings a week, so all in all, a very similar situation to yours.

All very frustrating. However, I spoke to nursery this moring and basically said "I don't know what I'm doing and I also have no idea if it's going well or not". Nursery were very positive about him and really urged me not to give up, they said they thought he was doing really well and that load of kids his age at nursery don't ask when they need a wee. So I'm now feeling much happier about the whole thing (I know I shouldn't need external validation, but I do, so there) and am much more relaxed. He has shown the odd (rare) glimmer of hope - I am clinging to that and resigned to the fact that it will take a long time.

For what it's worth, if I were you I would go for big boy pants (with characters on, that helps) and persevere - but I know that is much easier said than done.

Best of luck - I'd love to know how you're geting on

Hi! I know exactly what you are going through too! Am having the same issue with DD am on day 6 and find that if I time it right and take her to the toilet at regular intervals, there are no accidents. She wees and poos on the toilet (never went with potty) and is in normal big girl panties. The only problem is her not telling me when she wants to go. I am going to persevere and not remind/nag her that she needs to go. I am in the hope that it clicks at some point...

Not sure how the rest of you feel about this next bit - I have tried not to express any anger/frustration at accidents and have calmly said "its ok! Lets do wee/poo in the toilet next time". But now patience is wearing thin and I am tempted to try the naughty corner for any accidents. Any thoughts before I attempt this?

Angeleysmum I would strongly advice against naughty step for soiling/wetting accidents. The whole toilet training experience should remaim calm and relaxed. She's learning a new skill and it may take her a while to twig.

Sounds like your doing really well so far. Give it 2 full weeks and gradually cut down on the prompting.

Watching this with interest as these issues sound the same as the ones we are facing! DS has pooed on the potty since last September (when he was only 18 months - I got a potty in the Summer when housebound with morning sickness and he just started using it for poos when I put him on at particular intervals).

Now we're going cold turkey with the ridiculously expensive trainer pants (because he's suddenly decided that he wants to wear his big boy pants, even though it's rubbish timing as DS2 is only 6 weeks old). He's still pooing in the potty fine but not saying when he needs a wee. If we take him every half an hour he's dry all day but how long should we wait in between taking him? Sounds from this thread like I need him to experience more accidents so he associates full bladder with accidents/emptying. He doesn't seem to empty completely in one sitting either so wees again 10 mins later sometimes (which worries me as I have this kind of problem officially diagnosed and not sure if it's just normal in a toddler or following my pattern...) I'm remarkably calm about (for me anyway..) but don't want to be training him to need the potty every half an hour. Any advice welcome - sorry to gatecrash and for long post - it's a complex business isn't it?!