toilet training for 14months now and still at it....

[letsthinkofone]

Ds is now 3.7 yo and still not dry during the day. I started potty training when he was 2.6 yo. I've tried every type of reward and encouragement you can think of. Ds sometimes goes to the toilet on his own at pre-school nursery but continues to wet clothes at cm and home. We have not returned to nappies (he still has nappies at nt though) but are running out of hope - any thoughts?

Is he constipated?

That can put pressure on the bladder and cause wee accidents

no he's def not constipated. He always tells us when he needs a poo and has been consistent with this all along. He seems quite happy in himself and gets on well with Ds2 (aged 1.5)

doe he drink enough? a friend's son was still wetting the bed at 7 and the doctor told her to get him to drink more cause the bladder needs to know what it feels like to be full.

think this might be the same situation in the day? if he doesnt regularly get the feedback from his bladder that its full then maybe thats why he sometimes has accidents?

okay

two things that you can do simultaneously

1 increase water intake to increase urge to go

2 set a timer for every hour and religiously sit on the loo

CM can support this

x post canella

I sympathise. DD1 is now 3.11 and has been potty trained since 22 months. She was fine at first, but a spell of constipation really set her back. She has has accidents on and off, but it has gradually got worse.

I recently took her to the GP and she has taken it really seriously. I've tried all the reward charts, favourite pants, getting cross.... you name it. GP suggested further monitoring then referral to a paediatrician.

Anyway, over christmas we spent 4 days away and she was dry throughout! As soon as we were back she reverted back to wetting once/twice a day. We then felt that there was some element of consciousness about what she was doing and felt able to be a bit more direct with her.

Both DH and I had a chat with her where we pointed out that she had managed to stay dry at Aunty's house, so she can choose to do the same at home. We talked about her showing how she can be a "big girl" and make her own way to the toilet. It seems to have worked .

I'm not saying the same thing works for every child, but from what you say, your DS sounds like he may stay dry when away from home/CM. I'm sure you have tried this approach, but I thought I would share it, just in case it helps and also to let you know it can come to an end.

Sorry, I've rambled. Anyway good luck.

Thanks for the ideas - i feel at the end of my tether!
It's weird because I think he is drinking enough. I take him to the toilet once/hr as if I don't he always wets himself. He usually denies needing a wee even if I then take him and he does one. Recently I asked him if he needed a wee, he said 'no' but it had been ages since he'd last been, so I took him.He was weeing in his pants as i pulled them down! Occasionally he will say he needs a wee and takes himself so it's v inconsistent.
Often he has a full beaker to drink, then I talk to him about how this means he might need a wee soon. I then leave him for about 45mins-1hr, wait for him to go, then take him if nothing happens. I often find his pants are already a bit damp. This seems to be the only way I can cope with it at the mo!

I did think maybe it was just all a show for me and DH at home, but the childminder has the same fun with wet trousers and he has had occasional accidents at nursery from time to time - he is dry more often there, but then he is only there for 2hrs each morning so there's not much time to wet himself properly! I often find he wets himself soon after he comes out of nursery when i collect him as well - oh dear!

Try the timer plus extra water

Even if you think he's drinking enough you need to get him responding to the urge to pee

A bit pavlovian with the timer but I know folk on here have had great success

good luck

Will try timer idea - thanks

DD also claims to not need to go to the toilet when she's jigging about and crossing her legs. What I think is that she often doesn't like to take herself away from me and DD2 and whatever we are doing. What I have recently tried is, when she says that she doesn't need to go, I've made sure I've got her full attention and said something very calmly like " just have a think - are you sure you don't need to go?"

It seems to be working and I am so relieved because I totally understand how hard it is to keep your cool and not to totally despair.

Just keep trying different strategies and you'll find something that will work.

"DD also claims to not need to go to the toilet when she's jigging about and crossing her legs. What I think is that she often doesn't like to take herself away from me and DD2 and whatever we are doing. "

My DD2 aged 3.2 is exactly like this, too and I am getting so frustrated with the whole process.

My advice would be to up the water in take, leave (multiple) potties in convenient locations (even more than one downstairs if you think it might help) makes it less of a 'trip to the loo' therefore missing out on fun/TV/playing etc.

I'd not recommend the timer or taking them to the loo. Gentle reminders are OK but unless they are themselves motivated to be dry/clean it will take a lot longer.

And of course plenty of hugs/kisses/cuddles for successess in the loo.