Worried about DD2 (3.4yrs)

[MumGoneCrazy]

DD2 is still in nappies we have tried on numberous occasions to potty train her but she still seems to not know when she needs to go.

Tonight after her bath she was standing in the middle of the room with just a towel round her waiting for me to dry her when she started piddling, it was only when i said uh oh DD you've made a mess on the carpet that she looked down and realised that she'd peed.

She was meant to start nursery this month but we've had to put it off as they have to be toilet trained to go there.

DD1 (4.6yrs) was also a bit late at toilet training she was nearly 3 when she told us that she wanted to go on the toilet and has been wearing knickers since that day with only 2 accidents in the whole time and they were in the night. She tries to help encourage DD2 bless her but DD2 will just sit on the potty for ages doing nothing except from one time but she didnt know she'd done that until she actually looked in the potty.

Should i be worried and see a doctor or wait a bit longer?

Bumping

Anyone? I feel like a complete saddo bumping my own thread again

I too are having problems with my DS(3). He is showing no interest in using the toilet. The best day we have had recently is he sat twice on a toilet but would not do anything and became quite agitated.
What makes it worse is DS hates being wet and needs to remove the wet items immediately. Therefore I am reluctant to go cold turkey because when he has had accidents he has become very upset.
We keep asking him if he needs to go to the toilet and he refuses and even chocolate does not persuade him!
Even at nursery they are not having much success.
I would aapeciate some advice or reassurance that the time will come!!

no advice, but sympathy.
my DD is nearly 3 and shows no interest whatsoever in potty training, despite having all the communication/dressing skills, knowing wet from dry blah blah blah.

we are going to have a concerted effort next month (couple of big events this month) and go all out with bribes to see if we can just spark a tiny bit of interest. but I'm not hopeful we will see success.

Please don't worry too much. I fretted loads about DS1, and attempted to potty train him several times from age 2 onwards. He finally clicked at 3.7 and it was like a lightbulb moment - he was suddenly clean and dry (had problems soiling as well previously) so just follow your DD's lead. Doctors wouldn't do anything at this stage anyway as your DD is still within 'normal' range.

I didn't think nurseries were allowed to discriminate on the basis of children not being potty trained any more. A friend was told children had to be potty trained before going to nursery but her DS has a health problem which is delaying potty training and they were obliged to let him start.

Try not to worry (I know that's a lot easier said than done though!)

Mine too. We were despairing with DS (3.5) as he just wouldn't get it - plus he didn't even seem to notice or care if he got wet when we put pants on him. Nursery were getting nowhere either.

Then over Christmas we decided to try once more before heading to the doctors. We started a reward chart. Initially he got stickers for sitting on the potty (which had been a real problem as he plain refused), then after a couple of days he got stickers for doing something. Well once he finally did something - by accident I think - potty training took two days. We had one wee accident on each day on the way to the potty and since then he's been pretty much reliably dry and always tells us when he needs to go. Poos are slightly more of an issue - he tends to go first thing in the morning when still in his nappy - but we've probably got 80% success rate with those after 3 weeks.

So hang in there. When she gets it you'll probably find it much less hard work than many whose DCs started much earlier.

LadyClarent When will he be 4?

Twolittlemonkeys Did you ever seem to succeed at potty training in previous attempts and then he regressed or did he never get it at all?

DS is nearly 3.7 and will say he needs to go, but then sit on the toilet for 5 minutes and not produce anything, get off and do it 5 minutes later in his nappy/on the floor.

Nappyaddict. Ds will be 4 at the end of November . Trying not to focus on the large number of his peers who are now trained. HV says keep taking him but what do you do if he just gets upset. I keep looking for the signs but he is not concerned about having a wet nappy. Sometimes he asks to have his nappy changed if he has had a poo but this is not consistent.

I'm also in the same boat. DS2 will be 4 at then end of March and whilst he's been dry for about 4/5 months he still won't poo on the potty or toilet.

We've tried and so have nursery. I've also tried going 'cold turkey' and putting him in pants only to end up with soiled pants for days on end with no progress. He doesn't seem to be bothered by poo in his pants!!

Part of me thinks I should just drop it and let him do it in his own time but part of me feels I should be doing something....I'm just not sure what!!

Awww he's still young yet he's only just turned 3. I wouldn't start worrying til he's 3.10+

Take it from me, as mum to one of the most stubborn 3 year olds to ever walk the earth, there is nothing you can do. They will all get it in their own good time, and pretty quickly too if my DS is anything to go by. Please everyone try not to worry. If we can get there, anyone can!

Mumgonecrazy

I'm in the same boat too and was going to start a thread of my own about this.

DD2 is 3.2 years and I have been trying to potty train her since April 2009 (no joke!) in fits and starts. We have gone back to nappies for a few months twice in that time.

Sometimes I think she has clicked to it, we had a four day trip away before Christmas and no accidents at all, she was scooting off to the loo on her on accord. Now we've had six accidents today already.

We alternate between sweeties and sticker charts, back onto another different chart today.

I could just about tear my hear out over this some days and it's hard to stay positive. DD1 was trained at 2ys3months with very few accidents so I can't understand why it's taking so long for DD2.

My new tactic is not talking about it, not asking does she need the loo etc. Changing wet knickers/trousers in silence. I think unless it's being driven by her we'll never get there.

Ive been playing the waiting game, waiting until she asks for the potty but she dont, she's happy to stay in nappies and doesnt even tell us when she's wet only when she's had a poo

She says she wants to be a big girl like her sister and go to school but when we try her on the potty she cries that she doesnt want to go so wont stay on there longer than a few mins she also wont sit on the toilet she has a tantrum when we try, she kicks and screams and gets off.

Im hoping she gets it soon as i dont want DD3 (16wks) out of nappies before DD2

MumGoneCrazy - she's at exactly the same stage that DS was as recently as December. She'll suddenly get it, I promise you. We found that we did have to force the issue in the end, just a little bit, by making him sit on the potty and then rewarding him with a sticker. Once he was OK to sit on it we promised him a new car if he did a wee or a poo on there. Once he'd (accidentally) done a wee (and a poo) while he was sat there it suddenly clicked, he got his car, and we never looked back.

DS wouldn't use the toilet at all after he'd frightened himself a while back by falling off sideways , so I wouldn't worry about that. Concentrate on the potty and don't make her sit for more than a minute before relenting - bribery does work to make them stay there, honest! At this age she most probably does know if she needs to go or not so try to trust her. Good luck!

Fan that sounds very like my dd1. She seems to be stuck half potty trained. We have been potty training for about 9 months now and she will often say she needs to go, and even take herself some times but it is just not reliable.She has had some dry days but we have frequent wet and messy accidents, often at home when the potty is right next to her.
We have been back to nappies a couple of times, big washables mainly to encourage her back into pants. I reward her with stickers, sweets and small presents, but like you say until they want to do it it wont happen. It is just very hard to stay positive and I have found my self shouting at her for wet/messy pants.
I think I might give the silent approach a try. I hope it works for you.

For the boys may I suggest
cgi.ebay.com/Peter-Potty-Child-Urinal_W0QQitemZ290391836653QQcmdZViewItemQQimsxZ2010 0116?IMSfp=TL100116235009r5263
DS drives DH mad with his love for urinals, if out however many there are he has to use each one.
it helped him, he didn't like sitting on toilet and hated the potty. Now 5 and bigger and more stable will use toilet.

I have a possible 'solution' that's worth a try if you're having trouble.
We had huge problems with my DS (now 3.4) He started off (around 2.6) really well using the potty but after around 3 weeks seemed to totally lose interest. He was great with poos (always asked) but perfectly happy to wee in his pants, repeatedly. Stickers, pressies, charts, new potties etc didn't work.
We were really stuck for ideas until I read an article on 'potty training resistance' (you can google).
The theory is that the training has become a battle of wills between you and your child and you need to act as if you don't care. Only show positive attention, ie, praise when they go on the potty or ask you for a wee. This is really hard but I do now think it works - particularly if your child is strong willed!
We explained to DS that this was a new start, we wouldn't ask him about needing to go or take him to the toilet. We've also reinstated chocolate buttons for a wee (in a big glass bowl on the shelf where he can see them) and I got 2 new all singing all dancing pottys from Toyrus. I also got several pairs of jog bottoms that he can easily pull up and pull down.
We don't mention it at all - unless it's positive praise. We also don't help him to go unless he asks for help. The idea is it's his business and the only attention it'll provoke is positive if he gets it right.
On day 1 he asked me 3 times for a wee (which he'd never done before). We're now on day 3 and it's going really well.
Apologies for long post but I know how frustrating it can be...

I just want to say thankyou againagain! I have just logged on as my 3.5 y old has totally regressed and is peeing himself constantly - all over the sofas, down his trousers, at pre-school. Today its almost tipped me over the edge as I know its nothing to do with "accidents". he poos perfectly on the loo every time without fail, but the wee thing has almost become a battle ground between us. Just thankyou for letting me know you have basically had the same thing and giving me a new plan of action. Phew..and rest

Hey finecheese! I hope it's going well? We've been trying this approach now for about 5 weeks and it's working. We still have a few accidents here and there but he now regularly takes himself off to the loo and potty(whilst i drop to the floor in shock!). He seems proud of himself and I think the battle is over.
One of the most important bits, apart from taking the stress out of the situation, is letting him deal with it. I don't even change his trousers if he wets them - he knows he has to do it. I also do my best to believe him if he says he doesn't want to go when I ask him - which I try not to do very often. I think i was fussing way too much about everything connected to the loo.
Hope you're surviving X

thank you for your advice. i too have a very stubborn ds who we have been in the process of toilet training for 1.3 years! he simply will not poo in the loo. i will try my best. very re assuring that there are others out there going through the same infuriating nightmare. i have yet another week off work where i will be training again!