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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

3 yo who will NOT poop in potty!

13 replies

kansasmum · 10/01/2010 13:43

My son is nearly 3 and he will NOT poop in the potty/toilet- he has been dry day and night since Sept and is 99% reliable BUT he will NOT poop in the toilet or potty. He always poops his pants!

I have tried everything but nothing works- bribery,stickers, sweets, but its hard as we have nothing to build on as he won't poop anywhere except his pants! I am at my wits end and he is starting pre-school soon and I really want to sort it- any ideas?

OP posts:
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AliMouse · 11/01/2010 18:56

I just came on here with the same dillema - my son is 3 1/2 and hasn't been in happies since the summer, but in the last week he has done a poo in his pants everyday. It's driving us mad! He did it on the potty and toilet for months and now he won't tell anyone when he wants to go. He doesn't seem in the least bit bothered about sitting in it either.

I'm sorry I can't help except to say, you are not alone! I'm forced to believe now that only the humiliation of being mocked by other kids at nursery will snap him out of it as we have tried absolutely everything else. I'm pregnant so I can only guess he has some anxiety about that, but knowing that doesn't really help. Just trying to have a sense of humour about it and have lots of spare sets of clothes!

Best of luck!

Justine2912 · 11/01/2010 19:27

I came on here looking for the same answer. My son will only pooh in his nappy and then only do it at night so have to go in at about 9pm and change him. he turns three in two weeks. Dont want to make a big deal out of it but dont know what else there is to be done apart from wait and hope he grows out of it

yousaidit · 11/01/2010 19:56

Hi all, we same prob with 3yr old dd who, for some reason, after about 3m of being fine after potty training, decided to poo herself all the time.

i think it was attention, as she has a younger brother who is now crawling, cruising and moving round playing with her toys so she decided to grab loads of attention. we were doing this inadvertanly by telling her off fr pooing, cleaning her up and spending ages telling her to tell us if she needed a poo, f she did any poo like grunting (yes, you all know what i mean ) we were immediately all asking her if she needed a poo, stressing out as she had started nursery (and loved t, so not an issue there), so bascally, even f it was not briliant attention, she was stll getting some attention, rather than none.

in desperation i was trawling old mn posts re this and decided on an old thread that advised to just ignore the issue completely. no asking if needed a poo, ignoring gruntmg noises, if she had a poo just cleaned her up without much chatter, just a 'never mind' comments re the mater and that was it. i thought it would never work, but as dd was pooing herself all the tme, i thoiught might as well give it a go as things can't get any worse, and, it did (fingers crossed, touch wood etc etc, ) so far (3wk +) it's working, so hth's!

kansasmum · 11/01/2010 22:28

You have no idea what a relief it is to know I am not alone!!!

I will try your idea Yousaidit- I will try anything at this point!

Thank God Asda do cheap pants cos I threw out another pair today!!!

OP posts:
Beauregard · 11/01/2010 22:34

Tell him a story about his poo needing to go to pooland to live with the other poo's.Sounds crazy i know but my dd2 was exactly the same and would only poo in her pants or pull ups.Then someone on here linked to a document called poo of pooland.I printed off the story about the poo and read it to dd and she coloured it in.And after that i swear she went straight to the loo to poo and has done ever since.Sadly the document no longer exsists but there are books about poo i believe.I think that a lot of children have a fear of letting the poo go to the unknown.
Best of luck.

chuckeyegg · 12/01/2010 10:12

I came on here because I have a 3.3 son who has decided to start weeing in the toilet, would never touch the potty. He will not poo on it and he suffers with constipation which is an added problem.

twinnymammy · 22/02/2010 12:56

IM AT MY WITS END....MY SON IS 4 1/2 AND POINT BLANKLY REFUSES TO POO ON TOILET OR POTTY. HE INSISTS ON DOING IT IN A NAPPY OR WILL " KEEP IT IN " IF WE ARE OUT OF HOUSE AND DO NOT HAVE ANY WITH US . HE GETS EXTREMELY UPSET IF I TRY AND PUT HIM ON TOILET OR POTTY TO THE POINT OF NEARLY BEING SICK.I HAVE TRIED REWARD CHARTS , BOWEL SOFTNERS , PUTTING POTTY IN FRONT OF TV , YOU NAME IT I'VE TRIED IT. I HAVE BEEN TO GP JUST LAST WEEK AND HE DIDNT KNOW WHO TO REFER ME TO AND SAID HE WOULD GET BACK TO ME. MY HEALTH VISITOR SPOKE TO ME AS IF HE WAS 2 AND JUST STARTING OUT. HE IS DOING WELL AT NURSERY AND FAIRLY HEALTHY APART FROM REGULAR TONSILITUS. WHEN HE HAS A NAPPY ON HE WILL NOT STAY STILL AND CONCENTRATE, HE WILL PLAY WITH HIS TWIN ( WHO IS GREAT TOILET WISE ) OR WATCH TV ETC.. SOMETIMES TAKING HIM 4 HOURS TO POO. HE HAS TOLD ME IT DOES NOT HURT AND IS FAIRLY NORMAL WHEN IT COMES OUT , NOT HARD AT ALL. HE HAS TOLD ME HE DOESNT KNOW WHY BUT I ASKED HIM IF IT FELT FUNNY AND HE AGREED, BUT COULD HAVE JUST SAID YES TO SHUT ME UP. DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEAS !!!!

kkatie · 23/02/2010 17:54

Wonderful to hear I am not alone! isnt it the most infuriating thing. my son is 3.5 and i started toilet training him when he was 2.3 and he too refuses to do it in the toilet. every day he does it in his pants and now nappies as i ahve had to go back due to him starting school .i will try the poo land gag and the ignoring. heaven knows we have tried everything else! nobody in my family can crack this one...

travellingwilbury · 23/02/2010 17:59

I had this with my son as well , it drove me mad .

The thing that worked for us was to just keep calm and clean him up . I used to just say "never mind maybe next time you will manage to get to the toilet " . Once I did that it really didn't take long for him to get the message .

He never did it out and about , always when at home so it was easier to stay calm .

Good luck I know what a pain it is .

twinnymammy · 24/02/2010 13:57

DO YOU THINK I SHOULD REFUSE NAPPIES AND LET HIM POO HIS PANTS THEN IT WILL SHOCK HIM INTO GOING TO POTTY/LOO? I AM WORRIED HE MIGHT START HOLDING IT IN AND GET CONSTIPATED.

Sophstermum · 18/09/2012 14:36

Just logged on to mn for 1st time as I'm at the end of my tether with my 3y 8m middle child. We cracked the wees within a week or so about 4months ago but he's only had one success on the potty and has pooed his pants every day since then. We started off being very cool about the whole thing and tried not to worry him about it but now I'm actually pretty p**d off about it all as he does know when he's doing one and will tend to go off to a place by himself to do it. When asked why he didn't ask for mummy or the potty, he just says "I forgot". Super infuriating! Again, we've tried reward charts, stickers, sweets, extra big treats just for poos etc but with no success. Argh! Maybe we could try the ignoring option...I guess we've nothing to lose...

FrothyOM · 18/09/2012 17:54

My 3YO DS is the same. For six weeks I let him poo his pants but he didn't learn to poo in the potty. He learnt wees ages ago. I am at the end of my tether.

Helenetta · 12/09/2013 21:03

Oh hell, I've only had three days of pooing in pants and am fed up. I guess I need to learn a little patience!

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