3yo really scared of going to the toilet, no idea why.

[Dawnybabe]

Daddy took her to the toilet Sunday morning as she looked a bit furtive like she does when she wants to poo. I could hear her screaming and sobbing as he was obviously trying to get her to sit on the trainer seat. She was really crying her eyes out and it was awful to hear. MIL (very nice lady) says she's doing it deliberately and to ignore it, which is quite likely as dd is the craftiest little sod you've ever met in your life. She is the classic not-so-secret pooer, she'll go and sort of hide and then you can see the strained expression on her face. And then you say 'do you want a poo?' and she'll just go 'no!'. She blatantly lies about it. We've tried everything we can think of but she still will not use the toilet or the potty. I honestly do not know why she should be scared of the toilet. We've never told her off about it and as far as I know she hasn't had a bad experience. So how do I undo whatever it is she's obviously learnt to then toilet train her properly? Or how long do I wait before she makes her mind up to use the toilet?

Who understands the mind of a 3yr old? My foxes me regularly. And the things parents do for their dcs! Used to sit with ours in the toilet and have silly conversations or let them lean against me and tickle their backs so that going to the loo wasn't too scary. And then make lots of bubbles in the sink afterwards. Not adverse to bribery either or phoning up the GPs to loudly boast in front of a very proud dc what they'd just been up to! Not sure if any of these ideas would be any good for your dd but best of luck!

I know what you mean, don't worry! She does lie about it and she does it with a big grin on her face like it's all a big game. She's not like that about anything else very much, but the weeing and pooing has taken on a new game all of its own!

She starts pre-school this week. She'll be the only one there in nappies.

Dawnybabe When will she be 4? Has she been potty trained before and has now regressed or has she never been potty trained yet?

I knew a 3 yr old who got like this about the potty after she had a urinary infection - it had hurt her to pee and she became scared of the potty as that was where it had happened. Could it be something like that? Has she been constipated?

Hi, just started traing my ds2 for what seems like the 100th time he is 3yrs 2months and he was hysterical whenever he got near a toilet / potty to start with. But quite by accident my younger dd decided to sit on her potty (not training yet)and because we really praised her he decided to sit on the potty too. Had a few little wobbles after that but basically started sitting on the potty and weeing as well within a couple of days. So if you know anyone who would be willing to bring their child around and do a demo iykwim maybe it will encourage her?? Must say this worked for me with eating for ds1.
Oh and just to add be relaxed and dont put pressure on yourself, my d1 trained at 2yrs in a week and ds2 is the complete opposite, so its swings and roundabouts.

Ds has been very resistent about poos in the toilet (much, much worse since long train journey last year when he completely took against the train toilets, but never great to start with.).

Stickers, praise etc etc, none of it worked. Anyway, I recently discovered something he really covetted - stamps, the sort with an ink pad - and bought a box of them. One stamp for being clean and dry all day. A miracle! (well we're 3 days in and it feels like a miracle). He even used a public toilet to do a poo today which is a first since the train incident.

If she's got a real phobia, pain/discomfort or just isn't ready then I guess this approach won't work but it's really been amazing here.