4 months on and still pooing in pants

[dettolqueen]

my DS has been dry for 4 months now but still insists on pooing in his pants, often 3 times a day.

He seems to understand that he should poo in the potty or toilet and will get a reward when he does but is still quite happy to go wherever he is in his pants.

Nursery has asked us not to use pull-ups so we are resigned to cleaning up after him every day.

I saw another MNer suggest tough love and removing toys, but am not sure if this is the right way when my DS hasn't started going regularly on the potty/toilet.

Any help would be gratefully received to try and restore some order!

The reason that your nursery say no pull ups, is that they are to much like a nappy, although this is nothing to do with your problem, cause pants and pull ups feel the same with poo.

You could take him shopping for special pants, let him choose them and make them really special make a big deal about the pants, and then say to him that these are his big boy pants just for him, but only if he doesn't do a poo in his pants, and if he does poo in them take them away and put on really plain pants with nothing on, if he can poo in the potty (so many times) he can have them back but only if he continues to poo in the toliet, (can be extended to a few days e.t.c)

HTH

How old is he?
It took my dd about six months after starting potty training to get it
it was a very tiring time but we tried not to get cross and now at 3.4 she's got it

My dd used to do this. It drove me completely bonkers. We finally cracked it after taking some advice. I've written about it before on MN, so will try to find the thread.

Link is here

thanks Neolara, am going to have a good read through your previous link. DS is going to be 3 in a month, and having caught up with family over the NY am not going to beat myself up about it took much - for now!

DS does this. He is 2.10. He has been dry in pants for months, although still needs a nappy at night, but will only do about 1 poo in 10 in a potty or toilet (which is if I happen to catch him in the act and transfer to the loo). He prefers to lie on his front with him bum in the air. He knows he is supposed to poo in the loo, he even gets upset if the poo is loose and makes a mess of his pants, but nothing, but nothing is getting through to him.

Ds1 did all his poos in his pants for 8 months. He was so obviously delighted when he cracked it and started to use the toilet that it was clear it had never been wilful.
Don't think anything we tried made any difference - it happened when it happened...

I found this with my DS. He was actually a bit worried about doing it in the loo (for whatever reason to a 3 yr old). I was at my wits end until some other MN posted a thing about trying to really tip the balance the other way...this was by: doing the conga round the house. This sort of appealled to my DS as I could see his eyes twinkle at the thought of it. Additionally he had wanted an air-horn (parp parp type) for a little while so we bought the air horn. Showed it to him, tooted it...his eyes were transfixed on the horn. He wanted it so much. So we said, if he wanted the air horn he could get it easily by using the loo for his poos BUT he'd have to keep clean for 7 days (done on a tick chart) before he could have it for himself.
Did the trick - we'd 'do the conga whilst parping the wretched horn' and he really looked forward to it. I parped the horn for the 7 days - his face on day 8 when he could do it!! More focused then on getting something he wanted.

I still wonder what the neighbours thought, but it worked.