please help- 3.2yr old dd wetting and soiling herself...

[yousaidit]

... she has been potty trained since august ( was in no rush!) and 'loosely' follwed gf's 7 day thing, had star charts for weeks, had a few accidents, but things seem to have got progressively worse over the past few weeks.

no major changes at home or anything, she is due to start nursery in a week and has ahd a few hour visits which she seemed to like and always didn't want to leave and asked when she was going back, so can't think there is a problem there.

we have always had problems with her pooing, she will grunt and have that 'i am pushing' wavery voice thing but does absolutely nothing to get herself to the toilet or evebn say she needs a poo, if you ask her she just says no, she doesn't bother taking herself away to a corner or anything, just pushes wherever she feels like it. yet once she has done it she will say 'i need the toilet'

now she is weeing, not always a full wee but sometimes part of a wee then she says she needs the toilet, othertimes she just wees and starts to try to take her trousers off, again this can be anywhere, including playgroup!

the breaking point now is that yesterday she pood in her sleep, wet her bed at night whiule she was alseep ( has been dry about 4 weeks after starting potty training) then today just pood herself.

it is driving me mad, i'm so angry, i've tried excessive praise when she does a poo in the toilet, but she just seems to pay no attention regarding what she shoul d do when she need s to go to the toilet, tonight, she has got out of bed, weed on thefloor, got back in bed, chattered away to herselfm,, then when dh went to chcek on her she said she had weed and that 'mummy won't give me any treats if i wet my knickers' ????

any help or advice out there as i am really struggling how to deal with this and it is worrying me and driving me crackers.

thanks for reading the post. i might not be on for a day or two so if you think you can help but want more info i'll keep checking the thread when i get chance and reply to posts if necc. thank you!

We have similar problems with DS1 (4.5yo) and it has made potty training very distressing (see my many previous threads on the subject ).

He suffered with constipation when smaller and still seems scared to poo sometimes because of the pain/discomfort, so he tries to hold it in. It is the holding it in that results in the little and often thing when needing a wee as the pressure on the bladder must affect their control IYSWIM.

You should take her to the docs, he can prescribe something like lactulose if necessary. The real problem with witholding poo and constipation is that the bowel gets all distended (I think that is the cause of our potty training problems with DS1).

In the meantime you need to be able to recognise the early warning signs that she needs a poo and absolutely insist that she goes to the toilet. I usually have to accompany DS1 to the toilet and find offering to read a story or something when DS1 is on the toilet helps to distract him enough...and bribery is a reliable back up plan.

Sorry for the long post, what I am trying to say is don't make too much of an issue of it, not all children are fully toilet trained at 3yo.

thanks washersaurus, if the prolonged grunting thing isn't normal (she's my pfb so i just thought she took after her dad ) then might drag her to the doctors to get that checked out.

It could be something else though as she does seem to poo daily from your OP...maybe she doesn't like to wipe herself?

The combination of grunting,pooing in bed, and the wee accidents just made me think she could be poo witholding. Definitely worth getting her checked over, but I doubt it is anything to worry about as lots of children seem to regress after being potty training for a short while.

That last post was really badly worded, sorry am exhausted and off to bed!

no, that was fab and v usefulk, thanks!