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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

Withholding his wee

21 replies

JamInMyWellies · 27/12/2009 20:21

Started potty training DS 2.6 yesterday. Lots of reminders to go on the potty and lots of placing on the potty. He withheld his wee quite alot yesterday. One wee on the floor in the morning then he held on all afternoon until 6 when he came running in saying wee and he did a poo and a wee on the potty.

Today I removed his nappy when he woke and he refused to go on the potty all morning. No accidents then we went off to the inlaws this afternoon still reminding him to wee and nothing until 5ish when he did a mahoosive wee on the floor and then thats it. One wee all day since 8am.

What is going on surely he must be doing damage by holding it in all day. Should we not sit him on the potty maybe just back off completely and just gentle reminders to use the potty?

Am at a loss. No idea what to do persevere or give up.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MmeLindt · 27/12/2009 20:23

Why did you decide to start potty training?

Original poster

JamInMyWellies · 27/12/2009 20:24

He is 2.6 felt its the right time. Everyone else I know whose little ones are the same age have all been dry for months.

OP posts:

MaHumbug · 27/12/2009 20:25

We had a lot of trouble with dd1 doint the same and left it a couple of weeks and then it was better. dd2 is completely diffferent and she still will not go on the toilet or potty (she's just turned 3)

You know a nursery cannot refuse to take a child who is still in nappies? They may not like it but they cannot refuse.

MaHumbug · 27/12/2009 20:27

Oh and dd2 witheld her wee to the point where we took her to the hospital with bad stomach pains.

LadyBiscuit · 27/12/2009 20:27

It doesn't sound like he's ready to me. Everyone else's 2.6 YOs are really not dry, I can assure you

Original poster

JamInMyWellies · 27/12/2009 20:33

His nursery are happy to do nappies. So no worries there.

Worry that I am just procrastinating by giving reasons to wait. And that we should just crack on.

OP posts:

MmeLindt · 27/12/2009 20:36

My DS was over 3yo until he was dry.

I would leave him in nappies for a bit longer. You can still ask him if he wants to go on the loo/potty and if it works then great. Don't stress about it, just let him see the way forward.

You could well find that if you try again in a couple of months that it will all happen without much hassle.

Don't pressure yourself or him just because friend's DC are dry already, let him do it in his own time.

pippylongstockings · 27/12/2009 20:40

I think you will find that they are all very very different!

My DS1 was potty trained by 2.4 and dry day and night not long after his 3rd birthday. My DS2 will be 3 next week and we have tried potty training twice to no success at all. He understands the theory but seems to have no control on the reality.....

My sisters DD is trained at just 2 years old!

All very different try not to compare.

mathanxiety · 27/12/2009 20:45

Best not to compare, and just go with your own DC's signs of readiness. If you do think he's ready, boys are sometimes enthralled by the idea of aiming at targets in the toilet -- breakfast cereal pieces, etc. Makes it fun.

Original poster

JamInMyWellies · 27/12/2009 20:52

It's so hard not to compare isn't it?

Will have a chat with him tom morning and ask him if he wants to wear pants otherwise will bung him back in nappies and try again half term.

OP posts:

Moijaimelachristmaspudding · 27/12/2009 21:15

Jammy, firstly there is no hurry, A will be ready when he's ready, but then you know that! I also know that he was showing all the "signs" of being ready and over Christmas was a good time for you guys to give it a shot. So do not feel like you shouldn't have given it a go.

I can't say holding it in is anything I've experienced with any of mine, they've all been 45mins/hour regular whilst toilet training.

If you want to continue, maybe back off with the encouragement to sit on the potty and try with just the reminders. maybe he feels a little under pressure to perform. Just remember which ever route you take consistency is the key to success, say the same things every time you ask, do the same routines, times, placement of potty.
How it effects him medically holding it in I can't say. If it worrys you then stop and wait. There is no race, it doesn't matter how long it takes or when he is dry; certainly not to him.
If you feel he is ready than continue, it's often not until day 4 that they actually crack the idea. How long have you been doing it now, if it's only day 2 or 3 I'd keep going for a few more, mine have all seemed useless day 1-3 and then by day 4 they've craked it and NO more accidents. You could always pop him in a jiffy and send him across the channel, I love potty training as you know! There are still quite a few of our May babies who are not dry yet sweetie, perhaps your RL friends don't have as much on their plates and are able to do nothing else whilst potty training. I don't think I could have done mine so young and worked and nursery and with a mad dog etc...

I'm sorry but I can't go without responding to Ladybiscuit but I know you'd know I'd have to.

Ladybiscuit All 3 of mine have been clean and dry day and night by 2yrs6mths. I can assure you.... but not everyones, No and I agree it doesn't matter when.

LadyBiscuit · 28/12/2009 09:04

So your children were all dry by 2.6m moijaime - what do you want, a medal?

The OP said: "Everyone else I know whose little ones are the same age have all been dry for months." Does the poor woman not know anyone else except for you?

My point was that not all children are potty-trained by 2.6 so that the OP shouldn't give her child kidney problems because you're looking down your nose at her.

purepurple · 28/12/2009 09:09

2.6m is very early for children to be dry, especially boys.
OP, your DS sounds like he just isn't ready.
Maybe put him in nappies and try again in a couple of months.
Hopefully, he will be showing signs of being ready by then.

Moijaimelachristmaspudding · 28/12/2009 13:07

How's it going Jam? Are you continuing or going to wait until half term?

Whenever you do it you must expect it to be a slog with ups and lots of downs certainly for the first 4/5 days. He has to learn what to do, you are teaching him, it's not natural and he doesn't know how to recognise the feelings to begin with, but he will quite quickly suss it all out as long as you are consistent.

Medals don't excite me but thanks for offering!

mathanxiety · 28/12/2009 21:56

Sometimes children are very happy to train in summer when they don't feel so chilled to the bone on the potty. Training in winter also involves pulling down and up a lot more clothes and they feel so much colder and more uncomfortable if they have an accident in the cold weather. Plus it's more difficult for mum to wash and dry the pee-soaked clothing.

LadyBiscuit · 28/12/2009 21:59

Actually moijaime - that isn't true for all children. That may have been true for your children but they're not all made the same. I tried for 5 weeks with my DS. He was perfectly capable of holding his wee for hours on end but he never did go and sit on the potty when he felt the urge - for either poos or wees, despite being consistent. So I stopped and I will try again in a few months. It's no big deal but it certainly isn't true to say they will all get it in 4/5 days.

Have a look at the vast number of threads on here about potty training.

Just out of interest, do you have a mix of DCs or just DDs?

Paolosgirl · 28/12/2009 22:10

In my experience, when they are really ready it will only take a few days - so you were right to recognise that your DS wasn't ready (the 5 weeks showed that) and right to leave it a bit.

2 boys, 1 girl here.

seeker · 28/12/2009 22:11

It doesn't ahve to be a slog. Wait til they are ready and they will be using the loo or a potty with no accidents overnight. (hate the term "training" - if they are ready they don't need training - they will just move on to the next stage of development automatically. This happens any time between 3 and 5 years - every child is different and there is NO advantage in being out of nappies early.

Original poster

JamInMyWellies · 28/12/2009 22:11

We have decided to stop. He was very upset this morning about the potty and we felt that we would give it another bash feb half term.

Thanks for the advice.

OP posts:

pinkem · 28/12/2009 22:34

My ds did exactly the same; at 2.9 years i thought he was ready, he just held it as long as he could, i was scared incase he got an infection so we went back to nappies.

Three days ago we started again (2.11 years) he has not had one accident (so far) He is much happier this time round, he just takes himself off to the toilet and shouts if he needs a bum wipe!!

I'm so glad i waited just a little bit longer, he has pretty much done it all himself!!

LadyBiscuit · 28/12/2009 22:43

Sorry, meant to say that they won't all get it within 4-5 days at 2.6m which was what moijaime was saying. I'm a WOHM or I'd never have gone on for as long as I did but it was easy for my CM to bung him on the potty every few hours because they were housebound for various reasons.

OP - think you've done exactly the right thing. It seems that there are 2 schools of thought when it comes to potty training - one is that you must continue once you've started and the other is that, if it isn't working, have another go in a few months' time. I err towards the latter obviously

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