How many days after cold turkey do you decide it's not working and put nappies back on?

[naturelover]

DD is 27 months, we took her nappies off three days ago and explained she would only wear nappies at night and for naps from now on. First day, lots of accidents, second day about 40% success, third day we were going stir crazy and disagreeing about how to proceed (DH and me) so we put her in nappies just so we could leave the house (was totally daunted by idea of taking her out in pants only and having accidents outdoors in the cold weather).

I'm concerned that by putting nappies on out of the house I'm giving mixed messages. Equally I can't face being housebound for days on end. Oh and did I mention I have a 10 week old baby too? Am breastfeeding through the night and am exhausted.

I think deep down I'm the one who isn't ready to embark on potty training. But I'm worried that now that we've decided to do it, we need to stick to our guns. DH freely admits that he was the one being gung ho and saying no more nappies. I felt a bit pushed into doing it now but I figured now is as good a time as any.

Today she's had pants on for 2 hours so far and no accidents but then no pee in the potty either - she must be holding it in!

Sorry about the long post, I think I needed to just get a few thoughts down as I feel quite anxious about it all.

I have never gone back to nappies....I have three out of nappies. Just stick with it, resign yourself to staying in over the weekend, it's really not that big a deal.

Do it, you won't regret it. What on earth were your expectations? She is getting it.

I would say you know after about 4 days, usually by day 4 or 5 you see a big drop off on the number of accidents. But I would say that it is already clear that your DD IS getting it (40% success on 2nd day is pretty good) so if you can grit your teeth and continue with it then maybe you should - but you do have to mean it. If you are going to do it then no nappies on when you go out etc. As pp said resign yourself to the next 4 days at home - it's not a long time really.

When you do start going out please try not to worry about accidents, nobody cares, it's not nearly as much of a big deal as you think it's going to be if it does happen. If it's a wee then you just whip off her pants and tights and put new ones on. If a poo then lie her down and change as you would do a nappy (and chuck the pants in the nearest bin!). Make sure you have loads of wipes, plastic bags and spare clothes.

If you do decide you are not ready to continue with potty training just yet (and don't beat yourself up about if that's how you feel, both you and DD need to be ready for this step and it's not the end of the world if you leave it another month or so) then keep talking about it, keep taking her to the potty regularly and talking about how in a few weeks time she'll be able to start wearing her big girl pants again and isn't that exciting etc etc. Then maybe try again in a month when you are feeling more able to cope with it.

What Nelly said, in spades. I don't think you can get better advice than that! Seriously, you and she are doing brilliantly.

It is crazy-making - I found on about day 3 or 4 that I had to stop reminding DD and just let her get on with it. Soon you'll be able to go out more and more, and if you have a cloth and spare clothes, you'll be fine. DD potty-trained in February and did a wee in the corner shop the first time we went out. Nobody minded, though.

when you decide to potty train you have to be 100% into it
cold turkey etc
if your not then try again after xmas maybe

IMO it is important to cater the potty training to the individual child. my DD took a couple of months for her to be ready as we tried every week or so for 3/4 days. if your DD still has alot of accidents after 3/4 days then she might not be ready just yet.
i definitely believe that cold turkey is NOT the way to go as that puts unnecessary pressure on the child and it will make YOU feel like you are doing something wrong. i can assure you that you are doing everything right and also there is no set age for toddlers to be potty trained at.

give her time and while at home for the first few days avoid knickers etc as it is an obstacle for her to overcome and half the time the child will forget to pull them down/wee in them anyway. no knickers means less washing too keep the potty close by and dont worry about accidents as they will happen fro time to time even when they are trained

Well my ds is almost 3 and two weeks ago we had our second try at potty training. We went cold turkey. It was disastrous. After 4 days the only times he ever got anything in the potty was coincidence - ie when we"d put him on it. I decided that really he still isnt ready (I know he's quite old but this seems to run in our family!). Its a shame as he totally gets it and is quite independent minded but I think he isnt ready physically yet. So your little girl seems to be doing really well to me!

TheApprentice - my ds1 was 3.5, it took him about 6 months to be reliable, and he's still in night nappies at nearly 5. Sigh. It was the day when he stood playing with cars at the play-table while simultaneously (and obliviously) weeing over his own feet that made me realise he wasn't ready .

NatureLover - never mind your dd, you've got to be ready. I find it much harder the first few months out of nappies, than before. I wouldn't do it with a 10-wk-old - the older one always needs a wee as soon as you sit down to feed the baby. I'm quite sure that ds2 is ready - he comes running over shouting "poo" and then stands and does it in his nappy. And he tells me when he is weeing too. He is 23 months. But it's too cold and I can't be bothered ... [lazy cow emoticon]

Pandaeis, while I know it's individual, I'd say that in general, 3/4 days is too soon to know if they've got the hang of it or not. They might still be having a fair few accidents on day 3 or so but a few days later be doing fine.

(Although as I said above, that was the point at which I stopped mentioning the potty to DD so as not to create too much stress - she clearly wasn't liking it when I mentioned it, so I just bit my tongue and let her decide when to go!)

I think fruitful makes a good point about parents needing to be ready too! Definitely best to do it when you're not too tired.

Re. clothes - DD potty-trained in the winter and we did it with knickers and leggings on from the start - however, she did need to practise pulling them up and down by herself because that made her feel more in control.

Thanks everyone. We've decided to wait a while before potty training. Mainly because we have a young baby.

DD's success on day two can probably be attributed to the fact that she sat on the potty for literally hours, reading stories (it's great that she is willing to do this) but I think the pees she did while sitting on the potty were a coincidence rather than any awareness on her part that she needed to go.