Tell me it's normal and just a boy thing...

[shootfromthehip]

Potty trained DD at 2.2 yrs in three days. However DS is proving to be more problematic.

I am now on my 5th attempt at potty training and have to keep going with it this time as he starts nursery in Jan (he's 2.10 yrs).

He will go when I take him to the toilet and will perform both functions happily but we've been trying this time for 10 days and he has only asked/ told me he needs to go twise. It is slowly driving me nuts as whenever I am not around or asking, he will wet himself. Today he has wet himself and pooed in his pants too (ergh, hate that expression sorry). Like I say he is good if I ask him and will tell me he needs or doesn't but then forgets when I am not on his case as it were.

We are using a star chart which he loves but I've still not cracked it yet as IMO just not wearing a nappy isn't being trained.

Any suggestions/ soothing words of calm to help me persevere and not chuck it!?!

TIA

Firstly, if it's stressing you or him, then it's not right. You don't have to force it.

Secondly, he doesn't have to be toilet-trained to go to nursery. Ofsted rules - even tho nurseries don't necessarily want to obey, they have to.

It is said that boys are harder to train. If you want to continue, then I would suggest not waiting for him to ask, but simply to continue taking him when you feel is appropriate. He is old enough to learn that he always goes at certain times - eg before leaving the house, or sitting down to watch TV. Those are habits that you can start establishing.

Cautionary tale:

Both my ds's trained in a few days at the second attempt. My dd, OTOH, took weeks, and was never reliably dry. When she was 5.5 I managed to get her refered to a paediatrician (normally drs won't refer for wetting until age 7, but sometimes a mum's tears can work well!) and discovered that she has a condition that means she will not be reliably dry until she either outgrows it or develops the emoitonal maturity to monitor herself. For the past 10months she has been on medication that has finally enabled her to be reliably dry.

Thanks pretty- I'm really busy at the moment and it sound ridiculous but the extra washing is the bit that I'm finding stressful. Whilst I know that the nursery will take him in nappies, I just want him to have the independance. TBH, I just want it done so will have to keep going but it's frustrating me that I will ask one minute and he confidently tells me that he is ok and then literally 5 mins later there's a puddle on the floor. Ach well, I was obvoiusly just lucky the first time round.

Glad to hear that your DD is making good progress

Ime (albeit one boy ) your DS is still relatively young (for a boy) so it maybe worth waiting.

I didn't even try with DS1 until he was 3 as he was showing no signs of wanting to be trained...nursery kindly started him just after his 3rd birthday. He did a few hours at nursery without a nappy for a couple of days and was fine - cue the weekend so we thought we had better run with it. That was 4 months ago and I can probably count the number of accidents he has had in that time on 1 hand And I believe it was because he was ready to do it then and had we tried earlier, it would have been much messier harder.

Just my opinion, but I would leave it until he is showing more readiness.

I have a theory that, when you ask a child whether they need to have a wee, the question 'primes' them. So, even if they genuinely don't need at the moment you asked, something happens inside as a result of drawing their attention to needing to go, and within minutes - they do need. And usually urgently!

I think it takes a while, years prbobly, before they learn to recognise a partially full bladder, rather than a full and insistent bladder, and before they learn to predict whether they will need soon.