Should I hold off potty training until after dc2 has arrived?

[HeadFairy]

dc2 is due in 4 weeks, ds is 2.2 and I think he's almost ready to start potty training, but I was wondering if it's better to wait until dc2 is here and things are a bit settled. I have heard that older siblings tend to regress a bit when their new brother/sister appears. Or is that just bunkum and I should just start when I want to?

I don't know the answer, but my DD was born when DS was 2.0. I hadn't yet trained him and started at 2.6 when DD was 6m old. He did seem to wait until I was sitting down breastfeeding DD to wee on the carpet

I suppose there are pros and cons to both!

Personally I'd give it a go for a couple of weeks. In the best case scenario you get the first few days, where you have multiple accidents and have to put him on the potty every 20 mins, out of the way before the baby is born.

Because after the baby is born you'd probably want to give it at least 3 months before you try, especially if you're breastfeeding. You have to be able to react vv quickly to cries of 'I need a wee!' and doing that with a sleeping newborn attached to you can be tricky.

It's possible he will regress after the birth of your baby but equally possible that he won't.

The problem is that we've already stop started once. His childminder started him in the summer, but then we went through the house move from hell (moved three times in three months) and I couldn't keep up (neither could he to be honest) so we knocked it on the head. Do you think he's going to get really confused if we start and then have to stop again?

I would try. If he likes it, it's a good way to give him attention during the transition. Just make sure to go slowly and gently. If he's even slightly flustered by the process stop.

I'm not sure it's a great idea..... It sort of depends what you mean by starting potty training, if you mean start what I consider to be the preparation stage (i.e. regular sitting on the potty when he wakes up, after meals, before bath etc, but still basically in nappies / pull ups, then yes, why not you could see how it goes.

If you mean the full on into pants potty training proper then I'd advise against it. I tried this with DD1 (exactly 4 weeks before DD2 was due!). It really was a disaster. I was too exhausted by advancing pregnancy to have the patience and calm required. DD1 was too stressed by her knowledge that something very important was about to happen (i.e. DD2's arrival) but uncertain of what that meant to her. After a week where we both got very upset I put her back into nappies. When DD2 was 3 months old (and DD1 was 2.3) we tried again. By this stage DD1 was relaxed and fairly happy about the arrival of her sister, DD2 was sleeping well so I was reasonably sane and had a modicum of patience and DD1 was dry in 3 days and clean a week later. In addition I would add that even once trained I often had very little warning to get her to the loo and I was very glad that DD1 was a bit more robust and into a bit of a routine as it did make life easier. DD1 had an amazing knack of desperately needing the loo as soon as I sat down to bf..... A newly potty trained child is far more work than nappies!!

It was only in retrospect that I realised how utterly mad I had been to try the whole process so close to DD2's arrival.

I trained DD2 about 3 months before DS was born. She relapsed about 2 months after his birth. I was still v happy we'd done it though as I'd had 5 months off from nappies and the relapse only lasted 2 weeks or so. There is a big difference between 3 months before and 1 month before though. I think potty training takes about 3 months really. You have the first week of lots of puddles, then another 3 weeks or so of having to be really vigilant and still quite a few accidents, then another 2 months or so until you stop carrying spare clothes around everywhere you go.

i personally would not. There is going to be major upheavals and regression is common, and i think pressure to do something new while learning to adapt to a sibling is a bit unfair, as it will involve some mistakes/accidents that your DS might get upset by.

2.2 is still very young, there is no rush. And if he starts it of his accord which is possible, then you can go with it and take his lead.

That's what I was worried about Nelly... also, I'm getting so big and cumbersome myself that dashing around with a potty in hand to catch an accident isn't the easiest thing in the world for me, however in four months or so time, I'll be a bit more nimble on my feet.

Whenever he asks about the potty and shows any interest in it, I of course let him sit on it, and occasionally he's done a pee in it, which gets loads of praise, but I think the pants bit is probably a step too far at this stage.

Thanks Pavlov too... I did think I was being a bit silly to even try, but everyone kept saying I should start now as I wouldn't want 2 in nappies.... but I think even if I managed to get him out of nappies, he'd be back in them pretty soon when dc2 arrives.

i trained afterwards (though would have preferred otherwise, DD was 17 mo at due date) and found it a hassle - would have preferred to train whilst pregnant rather than with 6wo newbie.

though my backache would have been worse (lots of sitting with toddler on potty) at least at that crucial moment where she ws about to poo/pee, i wouldn't have to respond to the wail of the hungry tiny one.

I would also recommend leaving it until a few months after the arrival of DC2.

DD1 was 2.3 yo when DD2 arrived 5 weeks early. I am pretty sure she was ready for potty training already and had been 'practising' sitting on the potty for months.

I was not ready to train her whilst pregnant.

DD2 was in NICU and then I was not ready to train DD1 whilst DD2 was so tiny.

We then went on holiday to Holland when DD2 was 5 mo so postponed training until we came home as I did not want to have to find public toilets in a foreign country.

We arrived home on May 14 and DD2 started pre-school on the 18th. We started potty training on the 15, she went to pre-school in pull-ups (was only doing 2.5 hrs at a time) for the first week.

From week 2 she was in pants full time. Happy to pee and poo on potty. Last accident happened during week 3 - very little notice of when she needed to go and we carried a potty with us in the car!

By the end of the month she was dry and clean - day and night - and we have never looked back.

I am glad that I left it as long as I did even though she was ready before then. When I was ready she was able to get to grips with the whole thing and has been taking herself to the toilet at home, at pre-school and at the childminders with no fuss for months now.

You all need to be ready.

We potty trained DS when he was 2.5 - and DD was 8 weeks old. We were fairly confident that DS was ready - and in the end it worked out to be a huge success: lots of attention and praise for DS - just at a time when he might have felt supplanted by DD. It only took a week to train him - tho his poos were regular as clockwork - they happened every time I sat down to feed DD. But by that age I felt comfortable to detatch her mid feed (maybe I was cruel?!).

I'd gently "up the ante" in the next few weeks - lots of talk about the baby and how your DS will be a big brother and big brothers use a potty - and how clever he will be. And lots of sitting on the potty. Maybe he'll start using it - but don't put pressure on either of yourselves.

Good luck with DC2 and DS!