3.5 year old scared of weeing

[SleeplessDon]

I'm new to Mumsnet - so hello to everyone.
I'm trying to find some help for my son who is 3.5. I believe is scared of his wee coming out. I won't bore you with the background stuff (unless you ask!) but I have spoken to a child pyschologist who said I need to re-establish good 'weeing' thoughts in his head so that he is no longer scared. I had already tried most things before I contacted her(at one point she said "My goodness, you really have tried everything" - which wasn't very helpful for £75 an hour!). Anyhow, I'm persevering - we have kiddie books on weeing, a dolly that wees, he sees us wee, he has a 5.5 year old brother who he watches etc. The problem is entirely in his little head and he's terrified. This evening my older son asked the little one to have a wee in the bath (at our instigation to see if he might) but the little fella just jumped out of the bath and ran to the bedroom holding his willy!

I really, really dont know what to do and I'd appreciate any help or advice or opinion anyone out there could offer.

Donna.

Not sure Don, hopefully someone will be along to help you soon. There's usually someone who has been through something before here on MN.

Welcome btw.

Hi sleepless sorry ur Ds is going through this might be a stupid question but Have you had his wee tested to Make sure its not stinging/hurting him when he wees? Does he drink much?? This might sound a bit mad... But could ya let him hav a wee outside, in a field on country walk or sumit (know the weathers not exactly right for walks now...) But my mam told me when my older brother was quite little he got a kidney infection (he was a 'sickly' child ) but she said he used to hold his wee till he wet himself for ages after cause he was scared we grew up n da middle of nowhere on a farm so she wud jus bring him out playin outside and if she thought he was wigling for a wee she would let him hav a wee in the grass she said he thought it was so funny he started to relax a bit, dono how long he was weeing outside for... But once he relaxed he forgot pain and started using the toilet again... Does ur Ds wee standing up in the big boy toilet yet? Sorry so many questions, ignore if ya like... HTH

What Poohbearsmum says makes a lot of sense.

Also, do you try to get him to wee standing up or sitting down? If your ds is OK weeing while wearing a nappy, have you tried first getting him to wee in the potty while still wearing his nappy? Next step would be to undo the nappy once he's sittting down on the potty. Then to take off the nappy completely and use it to line the potty. And so on, gradually reducing the use of the nappy over a period of days or weeks.

Ahh, thanks ladies - it's nice to know I'm getting other ideas coming in. Poohbearsmum - I would let him wee wherever he wanted, if only he would wee!! I've got past the stage of worrying where it goes, I'd just like him to be able to do it! I like the idea of getting him to sit on the potty with his nappy on - I must admit I'd never thought of that! Strange isn't it, how you think you've thought of everything. Thank you so much ladies for taking the trouble to reply. I'll keep you posted if anything changes.
Best wishes,
Donna.

Any time Donna hope it works for ye