Potty Training - Am I doing the right thing?

[dannid]

Just looking for some reassurance that I am doing the right thing really....my ds is going to be 2 in a couple of weeks. We bought a potty a couple of months ago now so that he could get used to it, and have been keeping it in the bathroom. Each night when we put him in the bath we ask him if he'd like to go for a wee wee on the potty - sometime he'll sit on and sometimes he wont. I personally feel he is a little bit young for it so don't like to push it so either way is fine. Last night though he asked to sit on it before his bath and did a small wee and poo. We gave lots of praise and told him what a good boy he was.

Today I spoke to my health visitor and despite ds success last night, she told me that I should really wait until he is 2 1/2 yrs. Despite her advice I decided to not waste the opportunity and I have today been out and bought him some Thomas Pants (thomas is his favourite!). We have spent this afternoon putting them on (both him and his favourite cuddly toys!)and he has been happily running around without trousers. I have been asking every few minutes if he would like to use the potty and so far we have had a poo and 2 wees (one he actually sat on and did himself without me asking him if he needed to go).

Having not thought this through properly though, I am now a bit worried...I have to work over the next few days and am concerned about how he will get on with the potty training with my mother in-law looking after him?! Am starting to wonder if I should have waited until I had the time to spend a week at home with him myself?! How have other working mums handled potty training when they are leaving ds/dd with grandparents/childminders etc?

ds was trained by the age of 2 but I did it in a more gradual way by using pull up nappies but treating them like pants and taking him to the toilet regularly. Once he started telling me when he needed the toilet (while wearing the pull ups) I put him into pants. Using pull ups might make it easier on your MIL at the start or discuss it with her and see what she would prefer.

I agree discuss it with your MIL as whatever you end up doing who ever looks after ds whilst you are at work needs to be on board with the way you are doing it.

fwiw ds1 was 20months when we potty trained and ds2 is just 23 months and been in pants for about 3 weeks now - if they are ready they are ready, once mine kicked off about nappies I put them in pants but kept them in pants and have riden out the innevitable accidents, I think the whole two-ing a fro-ing between pull ups and pants is confusing for them. ds2 has become really realiable in the last 3 weeks as he had an opportunity to work out what is going on, ie if he wee's it goes down his leg, he doesn't tell me he needs a wee now he just finds the potty or if its been moved runs round like a headless chicken holding himself but at least I know what he's after!

good luck with it

Follow your child's lead and you can't go wrong. Ignore the HV. Two is a much more cooperative age than 2.5!

We started putting our DS on the toilet first thing in the morning when he was 14 months old. By 15 months he only pooed in the toilet. By 18 months he was out of nappies in the day entirely. By 2.5 he was out of nappies at night. (He still has accidents when teething, though, but still only 2.9.)

Going by your HV, my son would've been pooing on himself for over a year longer than necessary and weeing on himself for a year, and in that time he would've learned not to be disgusted by it and probably would've been fearful of weeing/pooing anywhere but in a nappy.

just go with your child my ds was trained at 2 but then kind of went backwards back to nappies again trained at 2.7 and again went backwards at 3 we tried again by 3.6 was fully trained and has never had one accident

so although some can train successfully early some just don't so don't feel bad if it doesn't work and go back to nappies and try again they always say when child is ready it should take no time at all so if it feels like your fighting endless battle go back to nappies and try again

when they are ready its easy ds wore pants to pre school and thats that story never looked back has never wet himself they all gain bladder control in there own time same for night training thats a hormone that kicks in its not something you can rush all children are different so dont worry if your ds takes a bit longer

also found wearing no pants for the first week around the house until used to potty helped then we added a layer and used pull ups for trips out also we never asked him if he needed wee as he didnt fully understand so we just took and sat him on potty every 30 mins or so same when out just took him to toilets

Thanks for the advice everyone. Will let you know how we get on! x

In an ideal world I think you pick a sunny time of year when you can spend time together in the garden without nappies and treat the whole thing as a bit of a game.
Children let you know when they are ready and there really is no point in pushing it - but I do think once you have got the idea across it is confusing to have them back in nappies....pull ups are a great halfway house.

your health visitor is wrong. you can potty train from 18 mo (and people always used to, and still do in forrin parts)

however i definitely agree that if your lo is with your MIL she has to be on board,

frankly from what you say he is doing brilliantly and were it me i would continue, having persuaded MIl that he is enjoying how clever he is by weeing on the potty (with sweeties/ praise.)

my dd has continued training at my mums, though my mum is totally on board, with a minimum of disruption (frankly, less disruption than leaving her with DH).

There's definitely no point in waiting if he's showing enthusiasm - health visitor is barmy to suggest waiting until 2.5 purely out of principle. If children aren't keen then that's another matter, but if they are, then I think it's confusing to them to have to wait.

As far as training with your MIL is concerned, I reckon all you can do is try it and see...