Dare I say the words ........... Pull Up's?

[FickleFairy]

Hi All,

Will try and keep this short and sweet as have already posted regarding training DS and the problem I was having about 10 days ago.

Well I persevered with DS despite being 2 weeks in and hardly progressing as I didn't want to feel like a failure . Selfish I know.

Anyway, between Friday and Monday we only had one wee accident total, but a poo accident every day (or he did it in his night time nappy), no sign of poo's happening in the potty despite numerous bribes. Then today he has been to nursery for first time since Thu and had 5 wee accidents in one day

He woke me in the middle of the night last night to say he needed a wee and I explained he had a nappy on as it was night time, and on the odd occasion that he does wee in his pants he tells me instantly, so he understands he is doing it etc.

Now, due to what has happened today I decided tonight I was going back to nappies as of tomorrow as I am also scared stiff of him having a longer term issue with poo's which I have read about a lot on here. So I decided I was kind of protecting him too and to hell with the fact I feel like I have failed. Then DH has suggested Pull Up's due to the fact he seems to be doing 'ok' with wee's (bit hit and miss as you can see from above) and if he does have an accident it doesn't mean a full on change of clothes (5 pairs of pants and trousers today!)

However, everything I have read is totally against Pull Up's and it seems it's either pants or nappies and that's that. I have totally agreed with the sense in that up until now. I am just a bit concerned if I put him back in nappies he won't get it as he does take his own pants down now to go for a wee in the potty quite often, just thinking pull ups might just ease the stress and tension in the house as we are now almost 4 weeks in.

Thoughts please, sorry it wasn't so short after all!

x

We use Pull-Ups at nursery and on the odd occasion that accidents might be a real pain (recent train journey - and thank goodness because ds wouldn't use the train toilets).

Ds isn't confused by this at all. Nappies are nappies, pants are pants, Pull Ups are also pants but he doesn't get wet legs.

Tbh, in hindsight we started potty training too early (ds is 3 next week and I started putting him in pants 6 months ago). I reckon if I'd started last week we'd be at exactly the same stage as we are now.

But hey ho, we had 2 dry/clean days at the weekend and his pull ups are rarely wet/dirty at nursery.

If you're going to put your ds back into nappies then you might as well use the pull up type and keep on encouraging him to use the potty.

That's just my opinion though, and as an abject failure on the potty bootcamp front I don't know what it's worth

Thanks Shona.

Have been and bought some today and have since had a minor argument with my mother who has told me once again that all us 3 were clean by 18months and when I pointed out there is a difference between being "clean" and "trained" she said she didn't agree. So I then mentioned that it is a FACT that children can't control their bladders until between the ages of 2 and 3 and she said that was incorrect too!

I can't understand this almost martyrdom of the modern mum.

I'm not getting at you Fickle - just the opposite, it just seems that the harder something is the better it is in some mothers of young children's eyes - and heaven forbid you should take the easier route - whatever gets you through i say. Why wouldn't you use pull ups as a perfectly sensible bridge between nappies and pants?

Know what you mean BoneYard. Believe me if I thought it was in DS's best interests he would be back in nappies but he really loves his pants and is getting it right over half the time now with his wee's.

We went out today and I can't tell you how much more relaxed I was knowing he was in pull up's, we still went to the loo etc and pulled them down but he also did have an accident in them, but you know what? I was calmer, he was calmer and that's got to be a good thing right?

Please oh please don't teach your child "you've got a nappy on, it's fine to wee all over yourself." You'll never get him out of night time nappies and it's really quite selfish, really, to make your child sleep in their own urine because you don't want to do night time toilet breaks.

I agree use pull-ups. We started DS at 14 months and left him in nappies until he was reliable with poo. He was clean a month in and dry four months later. There was no confusion. Using pants before they're ready just makes it stressful for everyone.

I too failed potty bootcamp and have put DD back in nappies for now, she was getting really upset by the accidents and I too thought it was counter productive.
I'd say go with the pull-ups, your ds will gain confidence from getting it 'right' and being praised etc..
Mine occasionally asks to use the toilet and has had the odd success. A couple of parents I know were told by their child that they wanted to stop wearing nappies and were subsequently really easy to potty train - neither of these were early though, both were nearer 3 yrs old.

I would definitely recommend using pull ups. I used pull ups from about 18 months with DD2 and what is great is the fact that you can easily do the whole preparation for potty training bit - i.e. regular trips to the potty and if they do happen to tell you they need a wee it's easy to put them on the potty. DD2 was out of nappies at about 22 months. I'd say do 2 or 3 weeks using pull ups when you are out and about and can't risk accidents (but still doing trips to the potty), then try again with full on potty training. They are a nappy though and I think it's best to treat them as such. I think the pull up confusion occurs in children when they are told that they are pants - when quite clearly they are not. When you go back to full on potty training in a few weeks ditch the pull ups (except for night time) and go back to pants full time.

It isn't a fact that children can't control their bladders before the age of 2 - lots can, some can't. Our parents and grandparents' generations did have us all out of nappies at 18 months - I mean we all still would if we had to use terry nappies and didn't have the decent washing machines that we have today. Terribly unhelpful and annoying for your mother to go on about it though.

The fact is things are different now, we do have disposables - so why make your life harder than it has to be! Use pull ups for a bit, relax and congratulate him on the successes he has and then try full time back in pants potty training again in a few weeks.

Thanks all for the words of encouragement. Things have been better the last few days as I have relaxed a bit whilst he's been in pull up's (which I have only used if we are out and about and could be difficult to get to loo on time).

Ches - The point about night time wee breaks is a really good one and something I hadn't considered could hinder the night time nappy situation at a later point. However, I do think it could have been made with less of an arsey attitude, and without insulting me and calling me selfish. It never ceases to amaze me on some of these forums that parents come for support and guidance and are met with people who see it as a way to have a pop at them!

Late post, but... Thanks for this - am having similar issues, and been really confused about pull-ups. We seem to be regressing rather than progressing with potty training (dd is absolutely great if she's not wearing anything, she just seems to resent the help she needs if she's wearing pants).

Anyway, just appreciate the way that mumsnetters always make me feel that it's okay to negotiate your own way. Good luck Fickle - we'll get there!

Late post, but... Thanks for this - am having similar issues, and been really confused about pull-ups. We seem to be regressing rather than progressing with potty training (dd is absolutely great if she's not wearing anything, she just seems to resent the help she needs if she's wearing pants).

Anyway, just appreciate the way that mumsnetters always make me feel that it's okay to negotiate your own way. Good luck Fickle - we'll get there!