Total regression after it starting so well-desperate for help!

[jacquiaki]

Hi all

I am new on here but hoping to get some help!!

I potty trained dd in June, when she was 27 months - she was showing all the signs and had been using the potty quite a bit already. Things went really well, and within a couple of weeks she was more or less completely dry in the day, with the occasional 'leak' before reaching the toilet. She has always been very diffuclt with doing a poo since she was in nappies - holding it in for as long as possible, scared I think that it was going to hurt, and this continued long into being in pants (yes, messy!). We have overcome this, and recently she has got much better at taking herself off to do a poo in the toilet/potty. However, over the last month, things have gone downhill with her having a wee. We are now at the point where she is wetting herself all day. she goes and crouches down or curls into a ball when she is going to do it, so clearly is aware it's happening, just stopped wanting to do it in the toilet. If I ask her if she needs to go she says no, and when I point out that her pants and trousers are wet and we need to change them (in a gentle, non-accusatory way), she denies it. I have tried everything - from getting cross, to ignoring it, as well as softly softly, being compassionate etc etc. I now just don't know what to do. I';ve asked her if it hurts when she wees, in case it could be a uti, but she says no, and if I ask her where the best place is to do a wee she says in the potty. We've done star charts and all sorts of rewards but it's not helping. I just can't work out why she won't use it. Its like she panics. Nothing in her life has changed since we potty trained, so I can't work it out.

sorry for the long post,but I am really stuck and could do with any help anyone can give!!

Thanks,

Jacqui

Hi Jacqui, welcome to Mumsnet!

Wehn you say she is wetting herself all day, is she going to the toilet at all - or is it all accidents? If she is getting some successful wees in toilet, I would be inclined to praise, praise and when she has accidents just to change her really quickly (don't let her get used to being in wet things) and don't make any fuss at all. I think I would be inclined to get her checked out at GP too (or with hv if you have a sympathetic one) just to make sure there isn't anything medically wrong.

just noticed this thread in active convos dd has wet knickers all the time which may be helpful.

I'd say put her back in nappies for a week. No negative comments about it, just explain to her that it's back to nappies for a few days (no stress or accusation etc), but that in a week or so you will try again in pants. It will take the pressure off you both and you might be surprised at what happens. My DD2 trained easily and quite early (22 months) but had a big relapse about 6 months later after DS was born (common problem of course). After a couple of weeks of accidents getting more and more frequent I called time on it and put her back in nappies. Interestingly she had an absolute melt down about it and only stayed back in nappies for 2 days before refusing to wear one ever again (even at night).

Don't see it as a step back, but just as a break so you can both take a few deep breaths, relax and then start again. Even if she doesn't have the reaction that my DD had to being back in nappies you will probably find that a week in nappies really helps you both to relax about it before starting afresh.