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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

2 weeks in and losing the plot!

8 replies

FickleFairy · 01/11/2009 17:16

Hi All,

I know my problem is no different to anyone else's out there and believe me I have trawled through all your posts to get some inspiration but I still felt the need to write my own just to know that I'm not on my own/doing it right/doing it wrong/should give up now!

DS is 2yrs and 8 months and showing all the signs of being ready to train. We are now 2 weeks in though and don't seem any further forward really. He knows he should go on the loo (didn't want to use potty) and if I religiously put him on it every hour or so he always performs (wee's only) but he never once asks to go and sometimes if I ask him he says no then promptly wee's everywhere. Poo's are an entirely different matter, by default he did do two on the loo in the first few days but since then has waited for an opportunity to do one by sneaking off and hiding despite my attempts to be joined at the hip to him so this is impossible! He has surprised me on car journeys/shopping etc as he does seem to be able to hold it until there is a toilet available in those kind of situations.

I do all the high fiving, cheering etc imaginable when he does a wee on the loo and like I say he knows exactly what he should be doing but is just not pro active with it in any way.

Today I am at my wits end and considering going back to nappies. My mother has just reduced me to tears when I put the phone down from a conversation with her by putting huge pressure on me to persevere cause "all her children were clean by 18 months rah rah rah"!

The truth is I don't want to give up as I do feel we have come so far but I just don't know how much more I can take of having to watch his every move every minute of every waking day just in case he needs loo but won't say. Pat of me thinks we have moved on but then I have a moment when I just think I am no further forward than two weeks ago.

Thoughts please......

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mears · 01/11/2009 17:25

Stop everything and leave it for 2 weeks. If he isn't asking to go to the toilet, take the pressure off him and you. My first DS I persevered at about the same age and ended up with a real toileting problem up until the age of 4 years with bowel movements. DS2 asked to wear pannts when he was about 2 1/2 and was dry within 2 weeks. DS 3 showed no signs at all until he was just over 3yrs. Again he was 'trained' in 2 weeks.

Definitely have a rest.

Conundrumish · 01/11/2009 23:42

read this post of mine. Honestly, it has been so easy so far, it doesn't even compare to what I went through six months ago.

I can't believe our parents really had us trained at 18 months. They must have spent their entire lives plonking us on potties and patting themselves on the back.

I really don't think a lot of boys get it until very close to three or just over three. My son didn't have a clue first time round at 2 yrs 8 months.

Put a nappy back on and have a glass of wine!

Conundrumish · 01/11/2009 23:45

Forgot to say, I would leave it sufficient time that he forgets all about it. My son was trying so hard first time round and was visibly becoming worried that he couldn't manage it. By leaving it, he forgot all about that. I too caused massive problems with my first child by persevering for too long and also caused problems with bowel movements for a long time.

If I were you I'd try again when Christmas is over and everything is calm again.

Spottyotter · 02/11/2009 21:04

Ficklefairy... You have posted exactly the way it is in our house at the moment. Poor, poor DS is getting so upset that I don't think I can bear it any longer. I am seriously considering putting him back in nappies for a month or so, I really thought he was ready and I suppose I gave into pressure from mum. Its been the most challenging part of his life so far.

SCARYspicemonster · 02/11/2009 21:16

Are you me? I could have written your OP.

WARNING POSSIBLE TMI The final straw for me was popping into the kitchen on Friday evening and coming back into the living room to find him kneeling on my computer chair and doing a huge wet poo which got stuck in every single nook and cranny in the contraption it's possible to get stuck in. He followed that up with a huge wee the following morning on the kitchen floor.

He has bladder control but he just doesn't get the potty bit yet. So we have gone back to nappies. There is no point at all in either of us getting hugely stressed about it as far as I can see (and after a crap night's sleep I ended up in tears in the pool of wee). I am very encouraged by the number of people I know who stopped when there was no progress being made (and really my DS has bladder and bowel control but he's had that for ages - he never ever poos anywhere but at home so he has made no progress) and had another go in a month's time and then it was bingo! sorted in 3 days.

In a few months, you and I and Spottyotter are going to have perfectly potty trained children I am sure.

Washersaurus · 02/11/2009 21:20

....2 years in and I am positively suicidal.....

ShannaraTiger · 04/11/2009 14:40

Ds was 3 2 weeks ago and has great bladder control. He can sit on the toilet, do a reasonable sized wee which gets lots of praise then 5 minutes later jump up from his chair and announce 'oops I'm wet' and his pants ,trousers ,socks ,chair ,carpet are soaked! He doesn't even drink that much!
I don't think I can face telling my mother I've put him back in nappies though, I'm sure he's just waiting for the bed time nappy though.

Original poster

FickleFairy · 04/11/2009 16:38

Hi All,

Thanks so much for the encouragement, sympathy and smiles!

I spoke to DS's Nursery on Tue and said I was verging on putting him back into nappies and wondered what they thought. They said they would support whatever obviously but just warned that sometimes if a child is almost there it can be confusing. So yesterday was an ok day apart from one accident in car and the daily "poo in pants" occurrance.

I thought about what nursery had said and it reminded me that the last three mornings he has took his bedtime nappy off himself as it was wet and asked to go on potty when waking (I thought more for novelty value than actually wanting to go, however both times he did go).

So today I have stuck to the pants and took portapotty/portaseat out with me and we have been to a friends, been to get feet measured and been out for lunch and not a single accident, although I did prompt quite a lot.

However, as expected, about 15 minutes ago we had the usual poo in pants situation. but I do think some progress has been made in the last two days. Although still a loooooooooong way to go me thinks!

Thanks so much again! Sending lots and lots of patience to you all, this is by far the most testing thing I have faced so far.

OP posts:

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