At what point do you decide potty training isn't working and give it a rest for a while?

[beanstalk]

DD is 2.4 and we started potty training last week. Had 4 days at home in which she clearly knew when to go - she would tell me 'mummy I need a wee', and even went on her own, pulling her pants down. Started with 2 accidents on day 1, about the same on day 2 and I thought we were getting the hang of it really quickly. However there were more accidents at the weekend when she was playing with DH and on Monday she went to nursery and just didn't manage the potty at all.
I think she knows when to go and how to go, but her bladder seems weak and she needs to go quite often so when she is distracted - by playing, being out and about, being tired - she forgets about it and has accidents.
I was happy to keep going, it is only day 6 today, but nursery said she just didn't manage at all. I don't want her to get stressed or upset by constant accidents. So far she has been really proud of herself and keeps saying 'I am a big girl now', I don't want to deflate her enthusiasm when she's with me!
What do you think, is she ready, should I perservere, or is the fact that she can't manage outside of the house a sign we should wait?

Hi beanstalk, I've been watching this thread hoping somebody would have some good advice.. but nothing so far! So I thought it was time to stop lurking and post instead... how's it going?

DD (3 in six weeks) has been reluctant to potty train, and I have not been very good at the whole thing, so I'm not really well placed to give advice, other than to say from what I've seen it seems quite common that children will do it for their mums, but not necessarily do it for anybody else. Your dd sounds like she's really got the idea and knows what's going on with her body, so maybe it's a confidence thing. Have you taken her to the loo at the nursery yourself, so she's knows is 'ok'? Like I say, I don't feel well qualified to give advice on this topic, but I'd be tempted to stick with it - as long as the nursery don't make a fuss about accidents and don't get cross or force her in anyway. DD doesn't go to nursery so I don't really know how things work.. maybe your dd needs to know one person to tell when she needs a wee, rather than having to choose from a few different people?

My view differs with a lot of people on here, but I'm rather of the opinion that we are the adults and it is our responsibility to keep our toddlers clean and dry, be they in nappies or knickers. She's 2, she is SUPPOSED to get engrossed in things (it's how she learns new stuff and that's GOOD concentration span for someone of her age), so she needs help with going to the loo. (Just don't ASK "do you need to wee" because that invites a negative response; instead say "let's go to the loo quickly.")

I thought my post had gone unanswered so I've only just seen your replies!
Well the last few days have been interesting...she had 2 dry days with me, used the loo or potty when we were out and about (even in the park!) and I thought she did really well. Then at the weekend when DH and friends were about, it was constant accidents. She asked to wear a nappy this morning to go nursery so I think she didn't want the hassle anymore.
I know she can do it, she asks in advance, pulls her own clothes down, manages fine - with me. She just can't cope with the distractions or having to ask other people.
Ches - I hear what you're saying, but the problem is she is so independent she wants to be in control and gets upset if she's asked. Maybe you're right about the phrasing - I am more laid back and ask her 'do you need to do a wee yet' to which she is happy to answer 'not yet' or 'yes', But maybe at nursery and with DH she is being asked more directly or forceably which makes her react negatively?
How do I encourage her to go with other people though, I can't control how they ask her (well obviously DH and I can be more consistent but I can't control every staff member at nursery).
Should I keep going or back off for now until she feels more confident?

ches, just wanted to say thank you for your input. I spoke to the staff at nursery and asked that they try directing her instead of asking - so 'lets go to the loo before we do xyz' rather than 'do you need a wee'. It worked!! She is doing much better, I think she doesn't feel she is missing anything this way. So your tip was really helpful, thanks

My son started v well just after his 2nd birthday. It was in the summer so easier with us in the garden most of the time. Then about a week into the training he gave up completely and as we were going away, I just gave it up. I tried again at 2&4 months and he was good at home but wasn't interested at the cms so I left it. Eventually at the 3rd attempt at 2&7 months he got it really quickly and did not look back. I think I'll do this with my other baby as well, just let him lead the way. Girls are supposed to be easier though. I think its hard if you have to work and worry about nursery and all that which is why I didn't push it. My children are quite laid back about most things so far I must say.

Hurray! Glad to hear it's going well.