age 2.6 and refuses potty!!

[linserella]

My daughter is 2.6 and refuses to sit on a potty or use the toilet using a step and seat. If I so much as mention the words "potty" or "toilet" she covers her ears or turns away saying NO! When she turned 2 she would sit on the potty for very short bursts, i bought pants which she loved and tried bribing her with choc buttons but she didn't seem ready so I decided to leave it for a few months and I'm wondering now whether my approach has been all wrong. She clearly still isn't ready and I don't want to push her but I'm increasingly aware of others her age out of nappies and the fact she'll need to be potty trained for preschool in 6 months. I know it's not unusual at this age but i would appreciate hearing from others with similar experiences or any hints / tips?! thanks v much

Ah, this is me this morning. Am attempting to train my 2yr and 8 mth old and she will not sit on the potty as it hurts and keeps tipping it upside down in temper. I had to buy a soft toilet seat yesterday as the plastic one hurt. She is sat in pants on a towel and has wet one pair already. I am refusing her a drink until I get a wee out of her in the right place but all I get is 'I don't want to'. Am despairing as I want to send her to nursery when she is 3 at the end of June so she needs to be out of nappies by then.

Nurserys can't not let you send your child if they are in a nappy anymore.

H the more she drinks the quicker you will get a pee. IMO i wouldn't use a 'punishment' to get them to go, imagine the connections they'll make.

All my three were over 3 when trained, if they're not ready, they're not ready all it causes is upset for mum and child.

Wait till she's ready. It can all change in a flash.

DS was like this at 2.6, but 3 months later refused all nappies, accepted the potty and trained within a couple of days. He has had maybe a couple of dozen daytime accidents (mostly at nursery when busy / distracted) and half a dozen nighttime accidents ever.

I don't know if it works with girls (I only have a boy!), but the only thing I 'did' was to play 'catch the wee' with him when he got in the bath. Standing in the bath makes boys (and girls?) wee, so with a plastic cup and a lot of encouraging and delighted praise from mummy, your LO gets to see that weeing is FUN, where wee comes from, and that it can be flushed away down the loo (or put in a potty first, for extra hinting points...) may be worth a try, if you feel the need to move things along a bit?

DD was exactly the same - would sit on the potty at just over 2 but then decided she hated it and wouldn't even consider sitting on it. We had same nursery dilemma - due to go up a room when she turned 3 and by the time she turned 3 she was still steadfastly refusing to even think about it - she'd have a soaking nappy hanging off her and still deny she even needed it changing! Fortunately for us, the nursery were pretty good about it and said she could move up but that she had to wear pants, not to worry and that she'd be potty trained in a week. We were like "mmmm, right, good luck with that then." But surprisingly, she was indeed toilet trained within about 3 days (1 day at nursery and 1 day at home.

Three key things for me from this were (a) when they're ready, they'll train very quickly, when they're not, no manner of bribes or enticements will persuade them (b) if you're going to do it, do it, and stick with the plan - for us, we just put her in pants, and changed her every time she wet herself (didn't tell her off, didn't hold back drinks, just reminded her about the toilet when there was an accident) and (c) peer group pressure definitely helps - with all the other kids in the room wearing pants I'm sure she didn't want to be the "little girl" in nappies.

Thanks, she clearly isn't ready and has wet 3 pairs of pants, her slippers, the lounge and dining room carpet and despite lengthy sits on the potty and toilet she will not do a wee in the right place and now she is crying because I am getting cross with her. It is everyone telling me she is ready which made me try.

chocolate buttons

Try again in a month or so.

Thanks everyone! HumphreysCorner - I'm right there with you! It's true that you tend to be influenced by others saying she is ready when in reality only she will make that decision and my DD is incredibly willful too so no point in fighting it! Tomarto - reassuring to know that nursery's can't refuse if they are still in nappies, i just assumed.. reassuring too to hear of potty training at 3, I'm hearing it more and more and happy to go with the flow now (just these smug mum's who have it done and dusted by 2 that has been making me feel a tad inadequate!). CaptainKarvol - catch the wee sounds like a great idea! will defo try that! Cestlavie - good points and good to hear. Smallorange - ah yes, this was one of the earliest tactics and can be a good bribe 'cept she sat on her potty the other day with her nappy ON and said "chocolate buttons"!

DD2 has managed a wee on her potty so made the biggest fuss of her. So pleased.

Gosh my DS1 sounds similar. The frustrating thing is if I could get him to sit on the toilet / potty he would wee or poo literally on command! Shows he has the physical control but emotionally not ready. Not sure when to try again as don't want to keep trying and stopping. He is 2yrs 7 months and the in laws have been keen to toilet train him since he was 18 months!

Ah loris, a familiar story re the inlaws. I think they have a foggy memory when they try and remember their potty training days.