any tips giving a 6yo the confidence to wipe her own bum?

[spertyporson]

Yonks since I posted on here and have never been a regular. Oldest dd, now 6, has never been confident about using the loo. Lots of accidents etc. Since going back to school after Xmas she's having a real problem and comes home just about every day with soiled knickers. Not too bad when she's at home, though leaves it late to get the loo and, if it's a poo, we have the "Can you wipe my BOTTOM" shout which goes out across the house. I usually do but ask her to "do the first one" so she gets used to it. Have been doing that for ages, actually, and it doesn't seem to be helping (she still wants help). The problem, I guess, is not wanting to go for a poo at school and trying but failing to hold it in. She has got a new teacher. Am resolved to talk it through with teacher tomorrow. Meanwhile any tips on how others have tackled this, most welcome. Sorry for long post.

Have you tried the wipes - like Kandoo, they worked really well with my Ds who was reluctant.

Yes, tried them a while ago but might be time to get a fresh packet and have another go! Thanks

if you want her to learn to wipe her bum at school, then she is going to have to learn to do it at home

so dont help her, i know its mean, but she will get there, maybe you can check after she thinks she has finished

but the more you help her wipe, the less she will do it at school/have soiled knickers

cruel to be kind if you like

I would say "You're 6 years old now, of course I am not going to wipe your bum. Just do your best - you'll be fine"...and would just leave her to it, like the Blonde says...

Tolerate skid marks in the interim. Do not make a big deal out of it...and let her get on with it

Agree with the last two posters. She's far too old to have her bottom wiped for her unless she has special needs or is particularly unwell.

Make her wipe, then get her to bend over and check, don't touch her just make her wipe again

thought i was going to yelled at for being mean

it is a hard thing for a child to learn ( my bf dh still has probs and he 35!!)

i make children start from an early age, my now 3yr is learning as nursery dont want to wipe his bum, and tbh he does a pretty good job at it, so by the time he goes to schhol, he should have it sussed

3yr still yells, can you wipe my bum, and i yell back - no

God, you're all brilliant! I have been completely babying her, obviously. Didn't mention dd2, now aged 4, who mostly sorts herself out with a few skid marks but tries the "can you wipe my bum" shout out as it's obviously working for dd1.

will start being a bit more tough!

Forgot to say thanks. Thanks!