Younger child dry at night before older - advice please!

[CatWithKittens]

DD1, who will be 5 in March, had her first ever dry night nappy on Christmas morning - at about 4am when she came with the other 3 into our bed to open her stocking. Since then she has had 4 more dry nights and has woken us twice with a just damp nappy saying she needs the loo which means we have only had 4 really wet nights sice Christmas Eve. We are delighted, both for her and the washing machine, BUT DS1, 6 last October, has never had a dry night and still needs night nappies. (We have occasionally tried lifting, or at least going in to him but he has been wet within two or three hours of going to sleep and again next morning.) I have always been at pains to explain that peoples' bodies change in different ways at different ages and hope he will not mind too much that his little sister is becoming dry before him. So far I have not made a fuss to either of them about it but would quite like to put a potty in DD1's room and try her without nappies at night. I feel a bit odd for DS1's sake and am not sure how to cope with this new situation, especially as there will come a time when he begins to ask why he is not dry/needs a nappy and she does not. Up to now they have been showered together in the morning, and bathed and put to bed together at night. I am wondering whether I should give him a later bed time, so that his sister is in bed by the time I get him ready, and get them up seperately in the morning so that neither of them knows about the other or at least neither has the facts drawn to their attention to often? MIL says that it is just a fact of life and she would leave DD's nappies off but otherwise just go on as before but I can't help feeling, for once, that she is wrong. (She has actually been most supportive about potty training and bedwetting, even letting the cat out of bag about DH's problems as a child, much to his embarrassment!) May I ask if anyone else has any experience of this and what have they done and how has it worked? I have to say I am influenced by DH remembering that his mother made no secret in the family of his being wet, treating it as perfectly natural and something he would grow out of, but he never quite felt the same and his younger brother teased him about it when his mother was not around. Sorry this is so long - you can tell I've been worrying about it for days now.

never used night nappies for either of mine, when they came out of nappies during the day they came out of them at night,both at 3 years old but like pullups(which I detest) are they giving hima false sense of security? does he need to have a cuople of wet nights to understand the concept better

just reread your post and you mention a history of bed wetting, that is different, go to the doctor and get some proper advice

my DS is nearly 6 and just over xmas has just started to get dry. my understanding is that a) with boys takes longer b) with boys its less about trying and more about physically being ready to do it - something they can't control and c0 if there is a history of bedwetting then quite likely to be the case in your ds ( as there is in our family)

Could you ask him what he would like to do at 6 will be aware that it is unusual ( as my ds is compared to school friends although a couple are still very much in night-time pants) Cn you put it in the context of girls being quicker to night train and would he prefer to take of nappy as soon as he gets up and put it in his bin and in the evening put it o right before he gets into bed. I wouldnt suggest this unless he expresses anxiety.

I was very aware that I was a bit different (i was one with problem) and I was picked on a bit by my siblings but took that as par for the course from Siblings!

hth

apols for appalling grammar, intonation and spelling!

Can't say I've had experience of this as my family has a history of wetting and all my children still do.

Your DD obviously knows that DS still needs a nappy but you could maybe make her think that DS doesn't have a nappy anymore either.
You could still bathe them both at night but when you've finished just put DS is his PJs and let him stay up a bit later than his sister. Then you can put his nappy on without DD knowing and any pride he may have felt he's lost over the nappy will be regained by getting to go to bed later than his sister.

Telling them about the development and how it's nothing they can control only really works if the child is older and mature enough to realise it's something they need to wear to protect the bed, rather than the "it's a nappy!" view when they're younger.

Have your DH talk to your DS about it. Explain to him that it is not his fault, but his brain doesn't send the signal to wake him up in time. Tell him he WILL outgrow it. BIL was 13 when he outgrew it, I'm sure it didn't help that DH (older) used to make fun of him about it.

Thanks Ches - we've done that but I still worry that he will feel bad about his younger sister doing something before he does.

That's what I thought too, Sunshine, and I have separated them at bedtime the last two nights and again in the morning and so far neither has commented on any change. I feel I really want to congratulate DD1 but know that's neither logical or helpful - anyway it may be a bit premature since we've had wet beds the last two nights and I wonder if I was a bit premature. I suppose at this point it's best if I keep on trying for another week or so and go blamelessly back to nappies if she is continuously wet?