Nearly there with potty training, but toddler will not get there in time

[BastetBaby]

I feel like my 2.5 year old is nearly getting it... But not quite!

She can't seem to master the critical "Oh I need to wee/poo! Better get to the potty/toilet before it starts!"

When we try just taking the nappy off (aka oh crap method), she wees on the carpet a bit, then holds it in if we ask her to, then lets the rest out on the potty (not sure how healthy this is for her...but her pelvic floor control is pretty impressive.) She never manages to get to the potty before starting to wee. Ditto with poos. E.g. just a moment ago she was naked and started to poo where she was standing - luckily the potty was literally 1 cm away from her so managed to whip it underneath her and catch her falling stool as it plopped towards the ground like some sort of feaces ninja!

BUT if we put her on the potty at regular intervals and say "time for a tactical wee" then she does all her wees (and poos for that matter) in the potty no problem.

She seems to need us to monitor her bladder for her.

She also HATES to interrupt playing to use the potty which might be part of the problem.

How should we move forward?

Keep going with naked-time + reminders?
Keep going with regular enforced potty breaks?
Give up and try again in a few months?

Keep going! This is how they learn!

Reminders, set times to go all the way.
little ones have fomo so will not want to stop playing. If you say time for a wee they will go. If you ask- do you need a wee? They will say no

Definitely keep going!! It's a new skill and takes practice. If you're learning a language you know you need a certain word but it doesn't come to you instantly straight away. Have a potty in each room if you need to, and do a combination of wees before transitions (e.g. leaving the house) and reminding her that "her potty is by the sofa when she needs a wee". Not if, but when.

I need more help.

She's got the point where if she is naked then she will mostly tell us she needs to go before she does. Not always.

But if she is wearing anything at all, she will just pee/poo in her clothes.

If I monitor her bladder and put her on the potty when I think she needs to go, then she'll go in the potty. But this success is completely dependent on me monitoring her bladder. She has no interest in doing this independently. When we suggest she use the potty she will always say she doesn't need to go, even if she does.

When we go out we put her back in nappies because of all the accidents - I take the potty with me though and still put her on the potty when I think she needs to go.

I'm at a loss as to how to get her to take herself to the potty. I'm getting visions of her when she's forty and me texting her "it's time to use the toilet!"

Should I give up and just put her back in nappies?
Should I let her have more accidents and carry on doing three loads of laundry every day?
Should I keep monitoring her bladder for her and add this to the infinite list of things I have to do?

(In case you've forgotten she's 2 and a half.)

Hey! I feel your pain, my DS is very similar, so I don't have much advice to give, just solidarity. DS will go through a whole day without a single accident as long as we take him to the potty at the right times but he will just wet himself if we don't. He's completely reliant on us and it's exhausting. Thankfully for poos he will tell us and he did that from before we started training him nearly 2 weeks ago, which prompted us to start potty training. I'm hoping it will click for him soon with the wees too.

How long have you been trying with your DD? I don't think you should give up now as it sounds like she's making progress.

We've been trying for a month at least.

The other day she asked me to put a nappy on her so she could do a poo because she didn't want to do it on the floor. I tried to get her on the potty instead, but she was adamant...

Then this morning she went in her pyjamas. I don't want her to feel bad, but she's picking up on my disappointment when I have to peel her poopy pyjamas off her legs and wash the floor again. I am trying very hard not to react.

I just don't know what to try next.

I'm not sure what "monitor her bladder" means but needing prompting is normal. Don't suggest she tries, say it's time to use the potty.

I would ditch nappies completely, as it sounds like as you're using them when you go out and sometimes allowing at home, the message of not using nappies anymore is lost.

Yeah, telling her "it's time" and putting her on the potty is what I mean.

I think you're right. We will ditch nappies completely.

I’ll probably get a torrent of abuse but in a similar situation when I knew he knew what he was doing and was perfectly capable I actually got cross. The same way I would if he was repeatedly throwing food on the floor. It worked. Softly softly and ‘Never mind, accidents happen’ just didn’t work. Getting cross and putting in a firm boundary that pooing on the floor wasn’t acceptable was an instant game changer and we didn’t look back. But I know it goes against everything you are told regarding potty training. And I would definitely ditch the nappies.