Training pants or bare bottom?

[notamorningpanda]

I'm planning on giving potty training a go with my 26 month old DS over the bank holiday weekend. We'll have 6 days at home in total before he will have to go to nursery. I can't decide whether to try bare bum or in pants/training pants. We have carpets everywhere unfortunately so thinking training pants will limit the damage but they may slow down his progress? Has anyone had success with training pants? They don't seem very popular at the minute. Any advice would be much appreciated!

I think these are two different techniques so it might be worth thinking about the whole strategy before you decide. Bare bum is more about getting the child to learn when they need to go - the method in the Oh Crap! book is a bit divisive but essentially in that method you as the parent are watching the child's body for cues that tell you they are about to wee, so you can then get them onto the potty and they learn to associate the feeling of needing to wee with doing it on the potty. It's easier to spot these signs if they are naked.

Training pants are probably better suited to a method where you start by focusing on where to pee (the potty) and prompt them to go at fairly regular intervals. I guess if you think they already know when they need a wee you could also go with training pants and they are a safety-net just in case the child doesn't make it in time. Bare bum in this method is riskier for mess, but potentially easier for the child initially as they can get onto the potty or toilet quicker once they realise they need to, as they don't have to faff around trying to get their pants down.

My experience is that I did the Oh Crap method with two children, starting naked from the waist down, and the most pee we had on the floor was actually with child #1 for the first morning after we put his trousers back on. So I wouldn't necessarily assume that pants = less mess.

Thanks @BarnacleBeasley that's really helpful! I've seen the oh crap method mentioned but don't know much about the details. What are the signs you're watching for? I can tell when he is doing a poo (and so can DS) but no idea for a wee.

You'd need to read the book really, as it'll explain what the signs might look like. I personally thought the method made sense overall, but the writing style can be a bit off-putting. Basically as far as I remember she says that signs of needing a wee might look different for different children but there will be some, so it's a case of watching them really carefully so you can notice if they are fidgety, crossing their legs, holding their willy etc. just before they start peeing. The first couple of times you probably don't catch it before they start, but once you know how your child operates, you can get them on the potty beforehand. So there would be some wee on the floor, but probably not loads initially because they are probably still just letting the wee dribble out whenever while wearing nappies, and it's not till later in the potty training process that they will save it all up into one big wee.

If the weather is nice where you live you could try putting the potty in a tent outside and let him go bare bum outside. I did that with one of mine and she loved going in and out of the tent to use the potty.

How was your first day? We are also trying over the weekend with our 27mo DS. Has been a hard first day!

@TiredT25 not great here either. Only one wee on the potty so far, caught only cos I sat him on it after he did a poo in his pants 😩 how is today going for you? I think I'll keep going another couple of days just cos I'm home with him anyway and the weather is good, but will probably go back to nappies if he doesn't show any progress.

I’m doing potty training now. I didn’t want to try training pants. Yesterday and today she’s just been bottomless . A couple of accidents but the spot wash sorts that right out. I’d say 90-95% wees and poos on the potty. A mix of her going herself and me asking her to sit. I’m happy so far. My approach is based on oh crap potty training. Except the nighttime dryness, this is hormonal so nappies for naptime and bedtime for us

Just keep going OP. Don’t get disheartened or stop. Nappies are done. He’ll get the hang of it x

Oh wow sounds like your little one is doing amazing! How old is she?

I don't think my little guy has any idea he needs a wee so far 😞 I can't spot any signs of it either, he just goes all of a sudden! He's also getting a bit resistant of sitting on the potty at all. He will just sit for a few seconds and says finished. Anyway I will keep going for a few more days and see what happens.

Sorry @scoobysnaxx forgot to tag you in my reply!

Today similar for us. We are getting a fair few wees in potty but still had 3 accidents and then he's not done a poo in potty yet (today waited until his nap so at least it was in a nappy!)

He's supposed to be at nursery on Tuesday so not sure how that'll go as he's needing loads of reminders !

Have also been thinking about training pants but will try without for a bit longer

@TiredT25 just 3 accidents on day 2 is amazing! We had about 6 or 7 today 🫣 he finally managed a wee on the potty this evening before bed! He was very pleased with himself so hopefully that will encourage him and we'll have a better day tomorrow.

Nursery should be fine for you on Tuesday! They are used to dealing with potty training, I'm sure they won't mind a few accidents!

I'm thinking maybe the combination of his resistance and your not spotting any signs means it would be worth trying bare bum for the next couple of days, as it sounds like you've had him in pants? If he's naked from the waist down it's easier to work out what the signs are, and that in turn means you can get him on the potty when the wee either is coming out or is just about to. That way he either gets to feel proud of getting a wee in the potty, or at least he doesn't spend time sitting on the potty when he doesn't need a wee, which can make them even more resistant. We did also find with DS2 that we had to be quite firm about gently holding him on the potty for long enough for the wee to come out until he got the hang of it.

We have started trying to potty train my 29 month old this weekend and have had no luck at all.

Does anyone have any tips for a toddler who won’t sit on a potty? He actively runs away from it and would rather wee on the floor than on a potty.

Thanks @BarnacleBeasley that's good advice. I've taken his pants off while we were outside this morning. Still not much luck but managed to get him on the potty to finish one wee. Trouble is with it being so hot we were playing with water and he got himself so wet I have no idea if he also wet himself or not 😂 I also have an older DC so struggling to keep an eye on him at all times.

@Teaandtoastandhoney I sympathise, we are pretty much the same. Started on Saturday and only managed to get 3 wees in the potty in total so far 😞 and my DS is not keen on sitting on the potty either. Have you tried bribes or rewards at all? I've offered choc buttons but since DS doesn't seem to have a clue when he needs a wee it's not really helped so far. I don't really want to give him one just for sitting on it.

So glad those years are in the past! Cleaning carpets after multiple accidents is a nightmare!

Yes it is a nightmare indeed 😞 can't wait for it to be done! Very thankful for this good weather though. We've been in the garden most of the time so only two accidents on the carpet so far!

@Teaandtoastandhoney @TiredT25 how has it been the last few days? I thought we were making some progress as no accidents and a wee in the potty this morning but then 4 accidents this afternoon. Last day tomorrow before he's in nursery on Friday. We'll keep going tomorrow but I'm think I might pause potty training for a month or two if no progress tomorrow.

@notamorningpandaSo why are you starting so early ? He’s not got a clue so why start? 2.5 yrs is fine. Why parents put up with dc weeing everywhere is beyond me. When a dc is ready, they will do it quickly. There’s no medal for doing the training for months. It’s the latest fad. He won’t succeed if he’s no idea when he wants a wee ! How can he?

26 months is extremely young. Unless you have some exceptionally advanced child I wouldn’t bother with all the hassle it will cause you. They used to train kids this young years ago but they weren’t really trained. They had to be watched constantly for signs. Children around 2.5 to 3 years old can be more reliably trained.

@Gealach My DD1 was advanced in many ways but not in potty training ways! They have to connect feelings (if they have them) to the potty and ask for it. There is no rush at 26 months. See the other thread where 8 months later DS still is not trained. It’s simply ludicrous to spend 1/4 of your child’s life doing this. When dc can connect feelings and language, then it’s a few weeks. My DD was a few days and no accidents at nursery. It’s just so much easier for dc and parents to wait if dc aren’t interested!

Hope today goes better ! It's still very early days.

We seem to be getting better at wees but still having some accidents when he's tired. Doesn't want to poo on potty or toilet yet but I've been told that can take longer. Thinking I might let him have a nappy on when I know he needs a poo to take the pressure off / stop him getting constipated!

We have had zero success. He won’t sit on the potty for more than 5 seconds. I’m thinking of giving up and coming back to this in a few weeks.