Any tips for a late trainer?

[DearDog96]

I know I’m very late to the game so please don’t come for me, but I’ve decided I’m gonna have another go at training DD who’s just turned 4. We tried back in Jan when she was 3.10 and she didn’t take to it at all and after a lot of accidents we went back to nappies. Does anyone have any tips of what I can do this time to make sure it’s our last? She starts school in September so very keen for her to be out of them quick!

We’ve just come out the other side of this, I don’t even know what worked in the end, it was a major battle and still can be. I just wanted to offer solidarity as I found it incredibly isolating having a 4 year old still in nappies despite trying to get her out of them since she was two!

DS has a January birthday. We tried in the summer before he turned 4 and persevered until September. It was hopeless. We tried again a few weeks before he turned 4 and it took three days and he got it. I remember him looking at me like duh when I explained that wee wees go on the potty. He's in reception now and hasn't had an accident since Christmas I think.

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! Did you try initiate or was it just a case of her deciding she doesn’t want to wear them anymore?

Glad to hear I’m not the only one with a LO on the later side! Fingers crossed DD takes to it as quickly as your DS did🤞🏼

The average child takes 3-6 months to be reliably toilet trained so it’s good you are starting now so that hopefully shes okay by school.

There are lots of toilet training methods but I’d have a look at eric.org.uk and they also have a helpline you can contact if you want to speak to someone.

Totally forgot to say, we took him to the GP at some point and she was totally unconcerned. It annoyed me at the time but it turns out she was right.

do you think I should book a GP appointment then just to be sure?

GP wasn't interested until my son was 6. We used an alarm that attached to his pants and vibrated and beeped when he was weeing.

It took about 3 weeks of using alarm till he was dry.

I booked one because ERIC suspected constipation. The GP ruled that out.

I would book an appt to check there's no medical reason, and also to prove that you've been proactive should you find yourself in the situation where she's still in nappies when she starts school. Hopefully it won't come to that though!

My DD turns 4yo next month, and we have just potty trained this week.

This is day 2 and she's had no accidents, every pee (and one poo) on the potty. By the afternoon today, she was going and sitting on the potty with no prompting. She's been wearing a dress with no knickers, and the first thing I taught her was how to hold the dress up when getting sat down.

I tried to potty train a year ago, when she turned 3, because she was aware of when she was peeing and pooing and i knew she was ready. I got a cheap potty and that was my first mistake - she sat on it a couple of times and even did a pee, but on the first day started screaming that it was hurting her back and legs to sit. I bought a different potty, but the damage was done by that point and she has refused to entertain the idea of potty training so I just completely left it. She has had a couple of books about potty training since then.

We have had a potty sitting in the corner of the living room now for over a year. A few months ago I started getting her to sit her toys on the potty. Then she started sitting on it herself fully clothed. Recently she has sat on it a couple of times naked. So spur of the moment this week I told her we were all done with nappies during the day. Pees and poos go on the potty, your body will tell you when you need one. Avoiding anything that she gets top absorbed in, as her focus on the potty drops. After a decent start she then became very upset and clingy, and then after about half a day she settled into it.

Im hoping tomorrow there will be even more improvement and I might even get some knickers on her.

Good idea, thank you! I’ll book an appointment in the morning.

Wishing you and DD all the best! Hope you can get her fully trained quickly. Will definitely be using some of your tips this weekend when we start our own training journey!

@Thetreeisdownnow They really should not take that long if they are ready! That’s just far too long to be running around dc who cannot manage the training. My DD was late at nearly 3 in my view. But it took less than 10 days. I had thought she was ready 6 months earlier and I was expecting no 2, so keen to get in with it. I was advised to back off and wait. I’m glad I did because 6 months of failure was not what I waned. Nor should anyone. It really should be a few weeks at 3 or 4.

Givrn that they're slightly older than the norm It might be worth not using a potty and getting a stool and insert for your toilet seat. Remember thwy don't see mummy or daddy using a potty! (DS didn't like using a potty because it wasn't what daddy did!).

Thank you! I never would have imagined things could have gone so well this week. I could just feel her getting older and older and I was still changing nappies, it was like we were stuck.

I hope it all goes well for you both and good luck! Come back and update us here if you remember.

I completely understand how you feel!
I will keep you all updated of course :)

Simply take away the nappies except at night. Put her in pants or let her run around the house and garden with nothing on. Make sure there is a potty easily accessible on every floor of the house. Maybe one in the garden too.
Praise her when she uses the potty but don’t overdo it: a softly spoken “well done” or “good girl” should be enough.
Downplay “accidents”. A simple “oh dear” is enough as you hand her a clean pair of pants. Or, if you can (and I know this is difficult) ignore them completely and quietly clean them up.
Pray for a long hot summer.
Good luck!

I’ve started again with my 3.9 year old this week! We’re on day 5 today, this is the first day she did a wee on the potty without crying this morning but this afternoon she had an accident and cried about sitting on the potty. Weirdly she will poo on the potty but she won’t let herself wee! She is happy to sit on it, tells me when she needs to go but won’t release it just holds and holds and is on and off until it’s too late. I want her to be trained before she starts school in September too I just feel so pessimistic at the moment because she won’t let herself wee on the potty. We’ve taken away nappies in the day but using pants as she won’t go around with nothing on