DS 4yo will only poo in a nappy – tried ERIC and "cold turkey" with no luck!

[Suzisushka]

Hi everyone, I’m looking for some wisdom from anyone who has been through this.

My DS is 4. He’s been fully pee-trained since last summer and is brilliant with it. However, he absolutely refuses to poo in the toilet. He will only do it standing and with a nappy on.

He’s quite independent with the habit now—we keep the nappies in the toilet, and when he needs to go (usually every 1–2 days), he goes in, puts the nappy on himself, poos, and then we change him. He isn’t constipated, but in the last year, he’s only used the toilet for a poo 3 times.

Here is what we tried:

• We tried "cold turkey": We attempted this several months ago, but he just started withholding till the next day. We decided not to force.

• We tried the ERIC approach: Before he learned to put the nappies on himself, we tried the recommended step of having him sit on the toilet while wearing the nappy. He flat-out refused to poo while sitting on the loo, even with the nappy on. He seems to need to be standing to feel comfortable.

I’m stuck! He’s 4 now and I’d love to move past this stage. Has anyone had a "nappy pooper" who refused the ERIC/gradual steps? How did you finally get them to make the leap? Maybe I should try a version of the cold turkey again?

I read this on here and used it, worked wonders!

Spent about £10 on cheap tat presents and put them in a bag called it the poo bag and whenever she went for a poo she got a gift! Only problem was she them wanted her dad to have them too!😂

@NuffSaidSamA day?! That’s
nothing is it. Yes, I should read it again! I’ve no idea what schools are going to do about this epidemic.

I would stop changing him as such and require him to be more independent in the clean up, using wipes to wipe and bagging up the nappy in a bag.

I think the number of children who are potty trained but prefer to poo into a nappy and will put that nappy on themselves and poo into it at home (and can withhold until they're at home) is quite small. I don't know what numbers you need for it to be considered an 'epidemic', but I'd guess we're not quite there yet with children with this specific need. There is no need for the school to ever find out about this.

More concerning for schools is children who are not potty trained at all. The numbers here, unfortunately, are much higher and it's obviously much more of a problem for the school. I shouldn't think teachers give much thought to where their students poo as long as they're not pooing into their pants at school!