3.5 year old refusing to potty train

[stillchasingdereksheppard]

Please someone send help.

This is my 3rd attempt to potty train and nothing is working.
Trust me when I say I have tried everything.
Bribes - chocolate, toys, stickers, outings, you name it I've tried it.
Choice - do you need a wee? Do you want to sit? Didn't work
Freedom - leave him to it, doesn't work.
Took him out to buy pants etc / big boy like your big brother etc - didn't work
Choice of potty or toilet - brought him 4 different potty including the super expensive toilet comfort ones, didn't work. Toilet seat with steps didn't work, converter seat on toilet didn't work.
Whatever I do he point blank refuses to sit on the potty or toilet. Even if I was to force him to sit down he would just throw potty / get up etc
He will refuse refuse refuse and then continuously wet himself and then lie he is wet when you can clearly see.
Nursery are saying he's ready and we need to do it and 'not give up' but even they have had zero success with him.
He starts school in september.
He's a bright boy, sociable and meeting all his milestones.
He's not my first child, or boy!
No signs of nuerodivesity (one child I have is)
What on earth do I do? Just keep letting him wet himself until he gives in and uses it?
Put him in nappies and risk him not being ready in time for school?
He's the only one in his nursery room in nappies.
We have read every book (with him).
He is showing all the signs of readiness. Can tell me when he is doing a wee / poo ( in nappy) asks for his nappy to be changed. Can dress himself etc.

What on earth do I do?

TIA for anyone that can think of anything!

You need to be consistent, do things he enjoys only after he has done a wee. My eldest was similar, it became a battle of wills. Let's go the park, so before we go let's go for a wee so we can play. Then sit and wait it out, have your phone or a book and ignore. Sit for hours with your shoes on and periodically ask what he will do at the park when you get there. Once he has done it, big well done and go the park.

I really do feel like it's a battle of wills. Tricky with other kids in the house and a single parent though as him missing out means everyone missing out.

Do you have family support? if so get a family member to come over who can take siblings for an hour to the park, make clear what he needs to do, when he needs to do it to join in ...or he stays at home with you whilst you wait ready to join in when he does a wee...

Good luck

My DNephew who’s 2 and 4 months and they want to potty train him soon I’ve noticed he tells someone when his nappy is dirty.

In your case I’d do as @Landlubber2019 suggests.

I was in the same boat when a friend came round with her dd who mocked mine for still being in a nappy. They then decided to wear pants and had only two accidents day or night ever again. We’d tried everything. Peer pressure did it in the end. They are a very stubborn sort generally.

Also decide potty or toilet, too many choices.... If he gets upset don't get cross just calmly remind him you want to go the park and play and untill he does a wee, you can't go but restrict access to other activities, so keep him contained in bedroom /bathroom to limit distractions but keep yourself occupied and calm..... It will take a few days at least so be prepared!

I wouldn’t waste your time with a potty now as it’ll then potentially be another battle moving him to the toilet. My dd starts school in September too and we basically just said no more nappies and dealt with the accidents until she’s got it. We didn’t battle with her to get her on the toilet, just ran her there if she had an accident and she eventually just started peeing on the loo. It’s a long old slog but needs to happen even if it’s hard!

You stay home for two weeks no pants lots of potties.
Stick to it. If no SEN he can be bribed rewarded.
With SEN it can be done tooalbeit maybe later

No pants. No nappies. Stay at home. Explain to him why you’re staying at home.

Sounds horrible but could your other older children peer pressure him a bit? Say he's being a baby etc
I think you probably do need to battle it out
Make him change himself when he wets himself every time. Should bore him into it hopefully

Have him choose a reward for you both, then each time you have to clean up, you get the reward.

So we have been basically in a battle of wills. He finally caved and is using the potty.
He's only had one accident now since Monday.
I brought some poo emoji stickers with funny faces which he has enjoyed and when he uses the potty he can choose one to wear and likes collecting the faces.

Don't think the stickers cracked it. I just started refusing to go anywhere or do anything until he had tried on the potty and also removed all trousers pants etc and so he had to use it really and he did.

He has asked for his nappy back lots and I've been really firm that nappies are finished now. I brought some night time pull ups in the different packaging and that's his nighttime thing for now so he sees it differently to his normal pull ups.

I don't think the battle will fully be over for a few weeks yet but I'm glad he seems to be getting used to the idea that this is the new normal.

He went to nursery yesterday and only had on accident all day which I felt was a good day given the busy environment etc and he did use the potty twice whilst there so taking that as a win.

He is thankfully my last child as I did not realise how difficult some children could be!

Thank you for everyone sharing their support and advice it's been good to know he's not the only one and think of things to try.