Having a nightmare first day

[Sparrowandblackbird]

Dd is two and a half and I’ve tried to gently introduce the potty. It’s not going well and she won’t sit on it, or if she does it’s for a split second then stands up.

I had an awful time with my first child and he wasn’t reliably trained until 5 (!) so I’m really worried about this happening again!

I used to hand out one chocolate button as a reward. Many would not approve but it worked for me.

What do you do if they just sit on the potty for a second though? I can see that happening!

Have you tried the "Oh Crap" method? I found with DC1 i had to be systematic on my approach.
It's basically dedicating a few days to going completely naked on the bottom half (her, not you).

Definitely not sorry - that was the source of the problem with ds. I know others like it but I really am not going anywhere near it with a bargepole.

The other difficulty of course is we can’t just stay in - during the week she’s at nursery part time and also the school run.

Sit by her and read a story/sing songs together/ generally encourage her. Set an alarm for every 20 minutes for the first couple of days to get her on there regularly. And yes a single chocolate button if she manages a few minutes sitting, and two buttons if she does something in the potty! Don’t give up!

Thanks @MissyB1 , unfortunately she’s just been running around and being really silly to be honest. It’s already stressing me out!

There is no way I could have started DS on potty training on a normal day. I started when I had booked a week off annual leave and dedicated that week to the task. Naked bottom half and bribes. The spot cleaner had a lot of use.

Just keep going and don’t stress about it, ask if she wants to sit on the potty (with clothes on first if you think that’s better) and if she does lots of praise, if she doesn’t never mind. Keep the potty in the bathroom, play games with toys sitting on it. When she’s used to it ask if she wants to sit on it without a nappy, maybe before a bath etc.
But don’t make it a big deal.

With my DDs I just waited until they were on board with wearing “big girl knickers” and not having a nappy anymore and took it from there. They were both trained within 5 days with hardly any accidents afterwards. DD2 never even had one accident in nursery or school.

DD1 was 2.5 exactly and DD2 was 3 and 2 months.

I don’t have that option sadly … unless I wait until summer tempting

I’ve just had to put her back in a nappy … feel like such a failure but she was just weeing repeatedly and didn’t even seem to be aware?

I am so bad at this 😩

She's never had to be aware of weeing up until now though and it's only day 1! She's learning a whole new skill - surely you wouldn't expect her to master any other new skill in half a day?

Don't brand it/you as a failure already. It'll just colour how you think about it and approach it going forward. Try to relax a bit. Have nappy free time every day for a couple of hours before bathtime. Make it a normal part of every day. Let her watch you use the toilet and tell her what's happening. Make a massive fuss of her favourite toy sitting on the potty like a big girl. She will start to understand but she needs time and patience!

I’d absolutely wait until summer, or at least spring. Winter is not a good time to potty train, wait until the weather is warmer so she can be in underwear outside in the garden without you having to worry about furniture and so any wet clothes can be dried outside.

If she’s not aware she’s going then she’s not ready to potty train. That isn’t a failure on your part.

I tried my eldest at 2.5 and it was a disaster… 3 months later she got it in a day. Own putting the nappy back on, but dont take the potty away. Leave it in the loo and give her the option, gradually start putting her on it in the morning, before a bath and before bed. Go and pick some big girl knickers. Get a sticker chart for times she does use it, and reward her when it’s full and start again. Get her semi there before you try again.

Oh Crap method is the way to go IMO. Wait until a bank holiday weekend and warmer weather.

I did wait until summer. He was not interested at two and a half so I waited until 3.

You need to start with preparation and practice don’t worry about going cold turkey and removing the nappy first as the expectation is too high. Choose a relaxed part time in the day and use toys/songs/stories to work sitting once a day and build up the time. Decorate the potty with stickers, blow bubbles and instruments etc. When you’ve done this you can introduce more regular sitting over the day. Look at books about potty training in gentle way if they go to nursery ask them to show books aswell etc . I found with my youngest the more pressure put on him he would get cross and refuse. Have a look at the ERIC website for go potty.

My 3 all did this the first couple of days, youngest did a poo on living room carpet, pointed at it and said “look jam!” 😂
But we persevered and within a week he had got the idea, obviously he wasn’t 100% perfect but he came a long way in a week.

Thanks. I’d definitely done that with preparation and she seemed to be fine with that! Maybe waiting is best … we have a holiday booked at Easter so that’s not a great time and she’s three in the summer. I do have three days off in the week; hope that will be enough!

Oh crap potty training book worked well for us

If she’s doing lots of small wees and doesn’t seem aware she’s just not ready yet.
It’s not a failure.
A couple of months can make loads of difference at that age.

Ps my DDs would have been just about ok after 3 days - she may really surprise you if you just wait it out

So, I could really do with some help here (I think I’m still a bit traumatised from trying to train ds!)

I really, really don’t want Oh Crap pushed - sorry, I just hate it.

So if you didn’t do that, what did you do?

She has to go out on the school run twice a day and that usually takes around 20/30 minutes.

She won’t sit on the potty.

She is keen to wear knickers but then seems alarmed when she pees in them!

I'd wait a couple of months tbh. It sounds like it's pretty high stakes for you at the moment and if you don't have a approach planned I'd let it wait until you do!