Why is this so difficult?

[Kaylehkay]

Im on my third attempt to potty train my now 3.3 year old. And its just no better. She won't sit on the potty, she will fight to get off it. She's now just holding in her wee ( 12 hours the other day). I take her nappy off when she comes downstairs in the morning. I've tried bribes, screens, books, charts, everything. Even a fun sticker on the bottom of her potty. We are 11 days into this attempt and not 1 wee/poo has been had on the potty. She doesn't care if she's wet. She's in nursery 3 days a week, and she wears pants, and a pull up there and will wee in those. Her teacher said its like she just doesn't get it?
She has trouble with communication and won't tell me if she needs a wee/poo or even that she has done one in her nappy/pants.

Idk what to do. Do I stop again? Will she ever be potty trained? Her friends are all trained and I just feel like a failure.

Sorry, it’s a really difficult stage and I just wanted to say that every child is different!
Have nursery got any suggestions here? They are v clued up usually in potty training? Have you tried putting her straight on the toilet instead of the potty? Perhaps get one of those seats and make a big fuss about it so she is excited to sit on it?
I imagine once she’s done one wee on the potty, you then go completely over the top positive with praise and then it might start to embed, tricky when she holds it so much!
See if nursery agree with pausing for another month or so, if they think her understanding isn’t there yet then you may need to wait. Hopefully she is one of those kids that as soon as she gets it, things are sorted and done v quickly! Sending you support x

Just bribe her, new toy ? Ice lolly ? Anything really. She will get it eventually. Have you looked at the ERIC website ?

Perhaps the whole thing is too intense. As a health visitor said to me when I was having similar difficulties “ she won’t be wearing nappies at university”. I think the advice was to me really to get me ( and DH) to chill out about it. My DD was definitely not potty trained at that stage because we had a big trip to the US then sbd we decided to wait until we got back for convenience reasons.

I'd skip the potty at that age and go straight to the toilet with a seat/ steps.

I'd take away all the stickers/ treats etc and just not make such a big deal.

It's not her job to tell you when she needs a wee, she's not toilet trained yet. It's your job to recognise when she needs a wee and get her to the toilet so that she can then recognise it herself and the next step is her telling you.

Spend time in a very small space, 1 or 2 rooms, just a dress, no pants. Lots of juice, have a tea party- get a tea set and all her dolly's. You need to learn what her signs are and get her to the loo. Then just carry on with the playing, not too much fuss.

It's basically the oh crap method.