2.5 year old, push on or take a break?

[OliveBee26]

We started potty training our 2.5 year old two weeks ago with mixed results - some successful self-initiation and pees/poos on potty but also plenty of withholding, accidents, refusal to sit and try, etc etc etc... two weeks on and we haven't cracked it. Going out without a nappy has just resulted in repeated accidents so far. Should we continue given our mixed progress (she is very keen to wear her big girl pants) or take a break and go back to nappies for a few months? At nursery she wears cloth training pants but their policy is nappies for outings. Thanks in advance

Keep going. We started around the same time with our son and truthfully it took a few months to fully crack the training. Whilst my son really got the hang of it at home, he wouldn’t tell us he needed a poo or use the potty for a poo when our the house and was often too excited when outside to use it. We were more successfully getting him to wee on the potty but still had plenty of accidents along the way. I’d recommend making them sit on the potty/toilet every 45 mins when out and being in a routine of using the potty/toilet before you legs the house every time you leave. One day they will just get it. It can take a while but hold on in there! Good luck :)

Keep going. The whole “my child got it in 3 days” might be true for some kids but my DS took 12 months to be fully reliable and my DD still has occasional accidents now even though we’ve been training since last summer. The same is true for the majority of my friends kids. There’s not much you can do about nursery’s policy but make sure you just get rid of the nappies at home (except for bedtime) and just take her to the toilet before you leave the house. Try not to stress about accidents outside the home, we’ve all been there!

I’d stop and try again in a couple months. Why do weeks or months of misery for everyone?

My DD was 3.5 in the end, but she got it in about three days. We have never had any issues with holding poo in and no big issues with holding wees in.

Personally I would stop and try again in a few months. Obviously having accidents is completely normal but if there are lots of accidents and little one is getting upset I would say they aren't fully ready yet. My first son was 2yrs 4 months & absolutely ready. He had the odd accident but it was so easy and he had got the hang of it within a week. I tried my second son at a similar age and he definitely wasn't ready, very similar to what you mention. So we stopped. A few months later we tried again and it was so easy, he just got it and within a couple of weeks he was completely dry, and there was no upset or stress this time. Good luck whatever you try 😊

Does she understand ‘yesterday, today, tomorrow’? Toilet training is about remembering a past sensation and outcome and being able to make a prediction that when you feel the same sensation, the same outcome is going to happen. I’m a teacher, so only had 3 decent opportunities a year to try to potty train my dc (which made me feel under pressure). The first time I tried, my dc was about 2 1/2: they didn’t have a clue; they were upset because they thought they’d got it wrong when they had an accident and I was stressed because I didn’t want them to be upset. Every day of our precious holiday was miserably focused on the potty. Once I realised they didn’t understand how time worked yet, I stopped. Tried again just before they were 3, when I knew they properly understood and they got it instantly. No accidents at all from day 2, dry at night also (although I did pull ups for ages as I couldn’t believe my luck!) and they skipped the potty stage, asking to use the ‘big toilet’ because ‘potties are for babies’.
If you have the capacity to carry on as you are until she finally cracks it, do, but if you haven’t, don’t be afraid to stop and try again in a few months when her understanding about everything will be that much more developed. Good luck!

This is fantastic advice! It’s all about the sensation! Personally I didn’t rush it with mine and they were closer to 4 before coming out of nappies but no issues with poo holding etc! We are still not dry in the night.

You can get Huggies training pants that make then feel the wetness which could be an idea! Otherwise back to nappies and wait for the warmer weather

I'd let her wear pull ups from now on and keep on with the potty / toilet practice as much as she wants to. Far less stressful than using pants. It should be easier to crack it with actual pants by Easter.

I'd advise to keep going. Just finished training my 24 month old (a little early maybe but wanted him out of nappies before new baby arrives) . It took 8 weeks very gradually. So 2 weeks is nothing. Accidents and refusals are normal!! Just keep it positive. I used Potty Pros Academy method which worked well. Have a routine to start with, eg pick certain times of day before meals etc about 5-6 times. Make it fun with lots of smiles and kisses but i didnt use bribes or rewards.
You could also wait of course- my concern was that rhe longer i waited, the more normal it was for him to soil himself, which could potentially make it more difficult later.
And honestly, those 8 weeks are pretty hard (quite a few times i wanted to give up) but now soooo much easier not having to change nappies!! And cheaper :)
Good luck!!

Can you do nappies on outings and big girl pants at home. Tell her if she can do 3 trips out without an accident you can go out with her big girl pants. Then obviously make it a quick easy trip to build up her confidence.

We decided to keep going - thanks everyone for your advice. Now three weeks in.

I would say she is still having accidents at least half the time, for both pee and poo. It has meant a lot of washing but I console myself by thinking of the nappies saved from landfill (trying not to think about the 2.5 years worth already in there lol)

How long before we can expect a turning point?

She has had some very good successes like peeing in a cafe toilet with our baby seat (once) and taking herself to the potty a couple of times a day. Amd she peed in the pitty at nursery too. But the rest...well
... we had several painful days of poo refusal which eventually eased. Trying to stay chill about it all but still prompt her to go (she still often refuses to try).

Any tips or experiences with a similar situation? TIA

Hi, are you still going?
only advice is to build on the successes, lots of praise while staying relaxed as possible.
for accidents, try to take her to the toilet gently even if there is nothing left to do. Just saying “wees and poos go in the toilet”.
I really hope she is still making progress and reasonably happy about it :)