Poo holding

[Binto]

Our 4 1/2 years old is petrified of going for a poo. This had been happening for 3 years since out of nappies and potty training .
we have contacted ERIC had hospital and Dr appointments been on laxitives / laxado and Ducollax for months , following all medical adiviice etc but nothing has changed , she has now held out for 7 days this latest episode.. she is in total denial and gets angry and abusive and throws things at us hits us and says things no 4 year old should be saying. We are at our wits end and it’s taking its toll on our mental health tbh. It is effecting her life and her possible future health and no idea now wtf to try. I am basically crying atm it is getting me down so much and feel so sorry for her and don’t know how to help her.
Has anyone had similar experience and any ideas of how to help?
TIA

If she has held on for 7 days she isn't on a big enough dose of osmotic laxative. The thing about witholding is that it is a very complex physical and psychological family problem.
it helps to remember that your child is in constant pain and state of anxiety. Treatment takes at least twice as long as the problem has existed and all family members have to be on board. One day or one person not following the plan can take you back to square one.
You don't say what regimen you are following but I really recommend googling the poo nurses and watching their video all the way to the end.
There is also a FB group called Movicol Mummies that I have seen recommended on here. Support from other parents is a great help.

So you are looking at a treatment and management routine for 6 years. It is doable and gets easier, but you have to stick to it. It is no different than managing any other chronic condition. You will get there. One of my dc got a nasty anal fissure due to piriton given for chicken pox. It was so distressing. The terrible fear and witholding was awful. But we got it sorted and all is fine now. It took 2 years and we started the programme after a few weeks of the problem starting.

Thank you for your reply’s and the info and links which have been really useful

Omg I could have written your post two weeks ago!

And then we cracked it! Honestly I still don’t know really what changed but it’s happening!

Over Christmas we had just avoided the issue again and we’re giving him a nappy to poo in. Then sometime a few weeks back I just woke up one morning and was today is the day! I bowled into his room out of the blue, calmly and happy and held his hand in bed and said today is the day we are going to poo on potty. I know you are scared and I know you don’t want to. But you can do it! You can! You are a big boy and it will take some practice but today is the day!!!

Took him downstairs and stripped him down like you do original potty training. No pants. Potty in the middle of the room. All day just kept loading up with more Movicol. No leaving the room! Lots of trips to potty. If he didn’t poo in a few minutes. Come up. Move around and go back again when he needed. Lots of bribes of when you go we get to go to Lego land/ and gentle threat of we can’t leave this house anymore for anything unless you can poo!

And he went!! And the next day he went again. And again. And again.

Two weeks later omg he poos in a potty 😅

Honestly I don’t really know what changed. I don’t think anything did it was purely psychological for him. I asked him tonight why he was scared of it and he said something about ghost busters?!?

The point of this post is one day she will poo normally and suddenly it will change 😅 don’t give up yet!

My eldest is similar. Always withholds if not already on the toilet. They poo every day now with cosmocol - i would look at dosage again or consider whether your child is impacted which needs tackling first. They still withhold when they can but we never get long stints without pooing anymore.