Son won’t poo in toilet

[Kelz009]

My 3 year old son started potty training a few months ago and learned quickly and is fully trained with pees. Nursery were great with encouraging this at the start and still take him often when he’s there, he’s not had a pee accident in months but he will not poo at nursery or at home at all, just happy to do it in his pants then tell you, he likes to be alone to do it. I’ve tried everything, all the rewards, distractions etc but being consistent and he’s not had a nappy/pull up on in weeks. The nursery suggested to put him back in pull ups today as they no longer had time to keep changing him when he’s soiled but said consistently was key when he first started. I feel like him being in pull ups again will make him lazy and start peeing in them again and not wanting to use the toilet so I feel useless on what I should do? I know the nursery are busy and have a lot of children to take care of but I feel like they’ve just gave up with him, any suggestions? TIA

If he’s not yet able to even vaguely consistently avoid soiling himself, and there isn’t some kind of plan that you’re working through then it’s reasonable to say he needs to be wearing something appropriate. That may be pull ups, with some clear messaging to him that the expectation is that they stay dry.

Or you work with them to find a way to make progress to start to reduce the soiling. As you say, hes learnt one part of toilet training. He’s not learnt the other and expecting them to deal with that on an ongoing basis isn’t reasonable.

You may find the ERIC website helpful.

Have you considered the possibility that he’s constipated? It’s really really common in preschoolers and sounds like he’s having multiple poo accidents a day and that’s what nursery are struggling to manage (sorry if I have that wrong) so it could be overflow around a blockage. You may need to treat that (GP can help) before anything like bribery can be successful.