Poo problem

[Laura5018]

I'm reaching out in the hope that I'm not alone. I'm literally at my wits end. My 3 year old DD has been withholding her bowel movements for about a year now. She will eventually go but it's extremely traumatic and Im worried it's reinforcing her fear of having a poo.
We have tried everything, stickers, bribery, routine and been the the GP who just told me to make her poo and TBH was very rude. He did prescribe lactulose but it sends her way to far the other way.
I'm at a loss any world of wisdom or support would be greatly appreciated 🙏

Why did the withholding start? Is she constipated?
Can you give some more details of when you potty trained, how it went and how you get her to poo now? You may find the Eric website useful, and you may need a new GP.

I found this book really useful when we had similar issues. Also the ERIC charity. Very best of luck.
https://amzn.eu/d/6fYMLAB

We had this problem after an over zealous primary school teacher terrified our boys with the consequences of toilet accidents. We were going along merrily, largely toilet trained before school with the occasional accident or deliberate wetting or pooping like all 5 year olds have, and she put the fear of god into them. Yes, she didn't have poop accidents in her classroom, but nobody pooped at all , and my kids got overflow incontinence and stopped recognising the need to poop and wee. What worked for us was encouraging them to poop or pee as soon as the call came, and if that involved going in their pants because of circumstances, so be it. It's far better to have a healthy empty rectum and bladder than clean underpants. Your child's health is worth far more than a pair of pants.

You are not alone. We saw the bladder and bowel nurses who dealt with 3-5% of kids in our patch. The GP surgery probably saw 4x as many cases of bed wetting, pants wetting and pants pooping. The nurse practitioner reckoned that at least half of parents kept the problem in house, and at least half of the kids managed to hide accidents or deliberates from their parents. So pants wetting, pants pooping and bed wetting is a normal part of childhood for more than half of kids at some point. Just keep their bladders and bowels moving and don't worry about the accidents. Pants pooping, pants wetting and bed wetting are normal part of childhood that kids just grow out of.

Thank you for responding
We think it all started when she was a baby. She has a delayed onset cows milk allergy which caused her so many poo problems.
We try to get her to sit on toilet and after days of drama she eventually goes but she is so constipated its reinforcing the fear.
We will not be seeing that GP again

Poor thing! There are loads of posts on here about constipation and the Eric website is great. I think in essence you need to get the on laxatives to clear out the bowel cavity and help it get back to a normal size, as if constipation has been ongoing it can get quite distended. It is definitely something to take very seriously and get specialist help for.
If she has CMPA, soy protein might do a similar thing.

Regarding the fear, maybe try putting her potty in the garden or in a different place, anything that means she relaxes..