3 year old refusing anything to do with potty training

[Newishmom]

First off i think she has autism I don't know if there's any effect I've been trying to train her since 2 y 8 months and she has never once being successful I have tried underwear pull ups thoses Japanese pants every single time is led back to this and new and now I'm unable to work because she isn't training or trained I need help

There’s a fb group for parents of highly functioning autistic children and this is an extremely common topic to come up. Our child is autistic, and it’s hard work toilet training. We’ve gotten them to pee in the potty by putting the bath colour tablets in so when they pee they get a colour change. We’ve done that, bribery with chocolate, sticker charts etc. occasionally he gets into the swing of things, then the next day we get straight refusal. I’m just praying if we persevere it will work as I see parents of 6+ year olds in the group asking how to fix this.

Get rid of the gimmicky pants. Anything close fitting feels too similar to a nappy. We did bare bum at home for a day to two days, then joggers but no pants for a month, and finally moved to pants and tighter fitting trousers like leggings.

It’s okay that she’s not ready. Children do it at their own time and there can be delays if a child is autistic. Some autistic people have trouble understanding internal signals so she may not even know she needs the loo. Stop training for now and try again in a couple of months- she might get it then or she might need longer but either way it’s absolutely fine. Speak to your health visitor about autism if you haven’t already as they should refer your child and give you support

@Sunsetswimmingis there anyway of quickly get her to be ready

You probably waited a little too long. Best to potty train at 2 years exactly or just before in my experience.

let her walk around the house without pants for a few days and keep putting her on the potty.

Not all children are ready to do it that early! there is no correct time, you need to be led by your child in this scenario. Telling her she’s waited to long isn’t helpful at all!

OP from my experience she will do it when she’s ready too. I know it’s frustrating going back and forth and especially challenging if you believe she’s autistic but it will just click for her eventually. Reward charts, bribes etc she’ll get it.

@ShieldMaiden8 thank thank you so much I was terrified I was too late she's not showing any signs at all she doesn't even know it when she's wet

If she doesn't yet know she's going or is wet, then she's not ready yet. Just as children walk and talk at different ages, they also potty train. Leave it a few months. If she's showing no signs by the Spring, then talk to your health visitor.

I would say 90% are better younger. My autistic child took much longerbut still started young. Not much use for the OP though.
We did a lot of naked bums and used washable nappies. Also lots of telling everyone how he was "such a big clever boy as he was going to start using the potty soon for wees and poos".

Not true. Readiness is a myth. My son showed 0 signs and yet I potty trained him in 3 days. Readiness was starting by nappy companies to make people keep buying, it gets children used to going in nappies and then they fear the toilet.

I'm not trying to be cheeky but Mr any proof behind this because I want to look for work but can't because she needs to be in daycare ? @Thuraya17

If you look historically at the ages when kids potty trained, they are a lot older since disposable nappies have been invented. Typically it was around 18 months when kids were in Terry nappies that had to be washed and weren't particularly absorbent.

my mom said I wasn't potty trained until 6 and I'm 18 now And she wasn't until 3 I don't think a certain part of the bladder develops for a while I can be talking nonsense I'm sorry if I am I am tired @Springadorable

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