Withholding..

[lwal]

3.5 yo, usually fine at home. Has been a witholder for as long as I can remember. Managed well with movicol. Usually has type 4 poo every day/other day.. absolute nightmare at nursery, pooing herself daily and not telling them.. what can I do?

Hey there! Just thought I’d reach out. We have a 4.5 year old. Also withholding as long as we can remember. Still managing with movicol. Things are mostly getting better but regressions still happen.

The year she started pre school we had to pop her back in a pull up for a little while. It made her feel more secure. She was worried about the toilet. Eventually she settled well and while she still would rather poo with mummy or daddy in the room she will go in school if needs be.

I don’t know if this helps, I just wanted you to know you are not alone. The whole poo withholding thing is so tough for them.

@MeltyPuffedOut thank you for your reply. It’s nice to know I’m not alone and gives me hope for the future! She’s usually great at home, if with me or her dad. Although she does need persuasion. I think she’s half worried about going at pre school and half doesn’t want to stop what she’s doing! I just don’t know where to go next. It’s hard as she’s only 3 so doesn’t understand cause and effect to the full extent yet. Did you just persevere?

Give him/her enough movicol so they can't withhold, or so they don't get constipated despite the withholding. My son eventually stopped withholding when he was around 6.5 years old. I just managed with movicol everyday and obligatory toilet sitting for 15 mins before and after school.

If he is at home then I would just try and make it part of the routine that he has to sit on the toilet for 10 mins after breakfast, lunch and dinner. And keep giving movicol. The poo should be the consistency of soft serve icecream to make sure he is getting all of it out.

Sorry for another post. He or she doesn't feel comfortable enough to do a poo in nursery. Lots of kids are like this. My kids were like this too. I got around this by making sure they had enough toilet sitting time at home so they were regularly pooing in the morning and evening in the comfort of their own home.

@chilliplant634 thanks for your replies! We have been advised by her continence nurse to reduce her movicol as it was making her poo so soft she couldn’t hold it! Which was an issue when out and about. They were happy her poos are type 4 now. I think that is the issue that she’s not comfortable enough there.. I’m hoping with time this will be something she will overcome. We do toilet sits as you suggested every day at home but nursery can’t obviously sit with her when they have all the other children. So I think she just thinks ok going to play now! It’s so stressful x

Busy old day today. Yes we have just been persevering and for the most part it is improving. Trying to rely less on the movicol, we are down to one every other day. A huge improvement for DD, but she definitely couldn’t do without.

Ive heard from other mums that it does eventually just click. Probably when that cause and effect thing really sinks in.

Fingers crossed they get there soon.

I'm currently living this right now and have been since I can remember
My DD is also 3.5 years old and just will not poo 😭 she is in absolute agony and just will not let it go 😭

It’s so hard isn’t it. Have you contacted ERIC charity?

I have thank to the amazing people on here and Thier recommendations
Wow why did the GP not sign post me here. It's exactly what we need actual help and advice