Day one of potty training - is it meant to be this stressful!?

[AmyW9]

DD is 2 and 7 months. We have a three day weekend so we're trying potty training. She's shown all the readiness signs.

So far, every wee has been an accident. Nothing in the potty at all. She seems fine (perhaps more cuddly than normal) but is this normal? Is day one meant to be so chaotic!? Everything smells like wee and I feel very stressed!

What signs of readiness was she showing?

You're only on day one. Are you putting them on the loo/potty proactively at regular intervals? Is there a reward incentive?

Regularly asking to sit on the toilet, knows when she's pooing, and tells us. We're rewarding with stickers for good sitting on the loo, and have more interesting stickers for when she successfully uses it :-)

Give it a few more days then - tbh, if they're really ready, that's all it should take (for daytime dryness). I wouldn't worry about nights at all - nighttime dryness is physiological, you cant really train for that!

If you have no real progess at the end of the long weekend, go back to nappies/pull-ups and leave for a month or so. If they're ready, it really should be ne stressful at all.

Don’t let the stress rub off on her it’ll put her off. Watch her and when possible you catch mid wee and get as much as you can in a potty or toilet. Does she have a potty available to her at hand? Then repeat ‘wees and poos go in the toilet or potty’ as breezily and neutrally as possible.

Also she may not have been as ready as you thought. Try for a couple of days and reassess.

Yes the first few days are normally a bit chaotic. Try pumping her full of liquids- if you don’t normally allow juice or squash now is the time, also ice lollies are good. Then up the frequency of the tries. Eventually you will get a success. I’d also stop giving rewards for ‘good sitting’, it’s not a restaurant and that’s not what you’re trying to achieve. And up the reward should you get a success because stickers by themselves are a bit rubbish really and sticker charts normally build up to earning something bigger e.g. 10 stickers = a toy but at 2 and a half instant gratification will likely work much better than a delayed reward. I recommend a smartie or a gummy bear.

I read bits of the Oh Crap book and I think stage 1 was the toddler realising "I've weed". At which point I said "oh you're doing a wee" even though she'd already finished, and stuck her on the potty.

We gave her orange squash in her sippy cup as a treat to keep her weeing and she got a chocolate button for a wee/partial wee in the potty. Two buttons for a poo. Not recommended in any books but it got her attention and worked.

Day 1 I don't think anything at all went in the potty! Keep trying for the 3 days unless she starts getting upset. If it doesn't work just stop and try again in a few weeks. Tbh I did not think DD would get it on our first try at 2 years 5 months but it did just click.

Just lower your expectations..there will be wee (and even poo) accidents for a while! There's no point stressing about it and your child will only pick up on your stress.

It's only the first day. My boy only sat on the potty at the end of the first day after many accidents. And gradually over the next few days he got the hang of it. Offer a reward such as a sticker each time and give lots of praise.

My advice is in 2 parts:
a. you need to stay super, super chilled. DD, it's great news about peeing or pooping in loo/potty, but hey ho, no worries if not.
I was truly awful at this and hence hated every second of potty training until DC3, leading me to advice b.

b. When they're truly ready, it can be so easy. My DC3 told me at 2.5 yrs that she was no longer wearing nappies in the day and then had 2 accidents in the first 3 days. She also announced on day 2 that she wasn't wearing them at night either and was out of them with no accidents at all. She was the youngest and was actually out of night time nappies before her 2 older siblings.

If there's no significant improvement after a couple of days, give up and chill with the nappies for a few more months. x

Do you think she’s definitely ready? My daughter started potty training on Saturday and has only had four accidents in total. It was similar with my eldest. I think I would have struggled to persist if there were no wees on the potty, so I take my hat off to you!

We have had the potty out in the bathroom for a month or so and she has been going on it before bathtime, then on Saturday morning she refused to put a nappy on so we just kind of went with it. She says “I need a wee” then goes to the potty, and I give her a reminder every half an hour or so.

I still find it quite stressful when we are out though! I forgot how tricky that part of potty training can be.

Hope it all goes well this afternoon!

Such good advice, thanks all. It's been a day!

We did end up with a few wees on the potty. No poos at all, which is unusual for her.

She did one really big wee, but was very upset before doing it, telling me her tummy hurt and ending up in hysterics. In hindsight, I think she was trying to hold her wee, which was causing pain. Inevitably, it eventually came out and I carried her to the potty. This was a shock, and she found this very upsetting, but afterwards seemed proud.

Was a lot calmer afterwards, and did manage a wee on the bigger toilet just before bed (and a return to nappies). But she's ended the day by telling me she didn't like the potty.

We'll keep going and see how she goes - I don't want her to develop an aversion...