Just turned 3 and no hope of potty training

[feelinglikeanawfulmum]

DS just turned 3. Very verbal and physically capable, can take off and put on his clothes and shoes, sociable, eats well etc.
He is just SO far off being ready for potty training. He still can’t/won’t (who knows) tell us when he’s done a poo in his nappy. Happy walking round in a full nappy like it’s not bothering him. Refuses to even sit on the potty (yet will go and sit on it at nursery just not go). Hates being nappy free apart from bathrooms.

We have 2 abroad holidays coming up in the next 6 weeks and his move up to the preschool room in September, so I’m reticent to start now, but seriously feeling the pressure from other NCT mums who trained their kids 6 months ago, kids who are younger than my son (including my 18mo niece) showing way more signs than he is.
I feel like a failure that he’s not ready and that I haven’t pushed it.

What do I do next? Do I just try to start and hope for th best? How will I know when he’s ready as it seems so far away? Do I wait until after holidays?

For me, it's not whether they are ready, it's whether they are capable. And if they are we go for it. They might not love the idea initially when pooping in their pants is incredibly convenient, but like wearing a seatbelt, this is what we are doing. We did the Oh Crap method and it worked brilliantly for both of mine. I'd go for it. Bare bummed and just be empathetic that he doesn't like it but once he is weeing and pooing on the potty/toilet he can have trousers again.

Yeah, just go for it. He's capable and more than likely will learn unless there is something else going on

I would set at least 3 days where you can watch him constantly and have him naked from the waist down. No nappies. No trousers. No pants.

I thought my just turned 3 year old DS was going to be a nightmare but doing this method really, really worked. Be prepared for accidents, just go with it.

Only once he was reliably holding it and going on the potty by himself did I progress to pants.

We’re 2 months in and on the toilet now. Although he still refuses to take his own pants down, and also seems to need them to be completely off before getting on the toilet. Oh, and he also seems to find it hard to wee when sitting down as it just goes everywhere (we’re working on standing!).

It’s always in stages. Take what wins you can.

With my oldest she was much harder and I had to do a special ‘potty dance’ when she successfully went on the potty which involved much cheering and clapping and got old real fast (for me not for her unfortunately 😂)

Those aren’t signs of readiness. Totally normal he has little/no awareness of going- modern disposables are too good and that is generally considered to be the first stage of potty training anyway i.e. it’s part of the learning process that you need to teach him. At age 3 he’ll be more than physically capable. Readiness signs you actually need are walking, able to communicate needs like ask for a snack if hungry, speech is good enough to say wee wee or toilet or whatever and follow 2 step instructions. So surely no problem for him at 3! He just might be a bit resistant because 3 year olds can be stubborn but decide on a method then pick a clear week (probably after holidays) to stay home and concentrate on it. I bet he’ll get it really quickly!

If he’s willing to sit on the potty at nursery, it might be worth exploring why he’s more open there than at home. Sometimes kids respond better to routine or a different setting. Maybe you can gently build on that.

Also, waiting until after the holidays could be wise. Traveling mid-training is tough. But if you feel you must start soon, keep it super low-pressure. Either way, your instincts matter more than keeping up with anyone else's timeline.