Please help, toddler will not poo in potty, only nappy!

[Red010286]

We potty trained our 3 year old shortly after welcoming his baby sister into the world, probably bad timing but live and learn 😬 after a fair challenge he eventually got the hang of wee in potty or toilet and is absolutely great now, will go anywhere wherever we are and no matter the toilet. Issue is with poo in potty or toilet, he never has any accidents but will only poo when in his bedtime nappy (first thing in morning or before bed).

have tried every strategy we can, spoke to health visitor and they gave us more tips, so we mostly have him standing in the bathroom at least to do his poo in nappy. But we are about 7/8 months in and I cannot face the ongoing battle, anyone with tips or ideas to try please 🙏 treats, stickers, etc do not work. He absolutely can go to toilet, wees totally fine in it, doesn’t love flush but uses it, please help!

I have this same issue. DD is refusing to poo in the toilet but the moment I put her a nappy on she poos. I have no idea how to help her.

I'd just carry on as you for a bit.

He isn't going to be pooing in a nappy at 18. At some point it will click. If he isn't having accidents I'd just let him poo in his nappy.

Contine to encourage and offer the toilet, but don't make a big issue of it. Revisit when it's time to get rid of the nighttime nappies.

It's really common and if he has control and is pooing somewhere other than just in his pants as he goes, I'd take that as a win for now although I totally understand that it feels like you've done all the hard work and are still left with the shitty bits (pun intended, sorry 💩).

We had similar and all encouragement/bribery/talking up being a big boy/reading Poo goes to Pooland did nothing (although a lot of people swear by Poo goes to Pooland, so it's worth a try if you haven't already).

One day he watched a video about a sewage plant and wanted to contribute to the process and that was it!!

I know lots of people who have experienced a wide variety of toileting issues and I'd always proceed with caution at this stage - you absolutely do not want to do anything that will cause him to withhold poo/stop himself from going as that will make everything so much worse and could really set you back. Encouragement and talking about 'when you do poos on the loo' as an inevitability will get you there eventually.

Bribery works both instant so sweets or a toy or points for something bigger.
I used to bath one of mine and the warm water made him relax and go and then lift him out of the bath on to the loo just in time!

I’d certainly go to the loo rather than potty. I’m not saying it’ll be easier but you’re just adding in another step. I made this mistake- had issues similar to yours, managed to get her to use the potty and then had the same problems again with the loo!
I was really insistent in the end: wouldn’t put a nappy on her and sat her on the potty. She didn’t like it but it was fine after the first time.

Thanks for the reply, yeh I think if he just tried it he would realise how much better it is (for all of us)!

Thanks for this, and good to know others have tried all the other tricks with no luck. Totally agree we don’t want him to start withholding, will keep focusing on the “when you go to the toilet” and keep edging him towards it. Hadnt realised how strong willed he could be 😆

I’ve said this on other threads on this topic as it seems to come up a lot…

Hopefully I can offer some constructive advice having had this issue with my older one.

There is a well known method and it worked for us.

1. When they are confident with wee, take the pull-ups off during the day and have them wear pants.
2. Tell them that when they need a poo they need to come and ask for a pull-up to do it in (rather than just wearing pull-ups all the time).
3. When they poo their pull-up, it has to be done in the bathroom and nowhere else.
4. The pull-up is taken off immediately afterwards, and the poo flushed down the toilet (in their presence).
5. After a week or so of doing this, ask the child to sit on the toilet or potty (with their pull-up on, still) to do their poo.
6. Repeat step 4 afterwards.
7. After a further week or two of this, instead of putting the pull-up on, put the open pull-up into the potty or toilet so that they will poo into it without wearing it. Repeat step 4 afterwards.
8. Eventually the child will get so used to sitting on the toilet to poo that it won’t matter if there is a pull-up underneath or not.
9. Job done!

The above worked for us, but I’ve also heard of the following variations:

If step 7 is too big a transition for the child, try cutting a hole in the back of the pull-up before they put it on so that the child can sit on the toilet still wearing the pull-up but the poo goes through it and into the toilet.

If they can’t get past the step of placing the pull-up into the toilet, do so gradually by cutting pieces off the pull-up bit by bit each time until eventually they only need a little bit of pull-up in the toilet to poo on, which can then eventually be replaced by a wad of toilet tissue.

Good luck! I hope this proves useful.

😊

Hi @Red010286, I appreciate this is an old thread but do you have any update, please? We are going through the same, thank you!

I can give an update but I fear you might not want to hear it 😅 we are over a year in and still here, managed to get to nappy changes only in bathroom, we change him standing up and he helps to wipe, we are working on trying to get him to sit on potty or toilet with nappy on, but we are having no luck and are exhausted with it! I am sorry if you are going through this and really hope your journey is not as long ours ❤️

Download poo land app on your phone. That weird story got mine to use the toilet.

Standing in solidarity with you @Red010286my 4 year old DC will still only poo in a nappy (on the toilet, mind). But no amount of bribery will get her to take it off. Tried every trick everyone has mentioned but no luck!

Thanks, @Red010286 and to the other posters also! I know we will all get there in the end, but as with everything parenting, it’s the not knowing when that is hard. I’m sure I could relax a lot more if I knew! We have tried to get our daughter to sit on the potty or toilet while wearing the nappy but she laughed at this idea and more or less told us, “we don’t wear nappies on the toilet!” (I guess she’s totally right there). We are also at the stage where poos must happen in the bathroom only and we clean up while standing up. We even put the poo into the toilet afterwards. I have suspected for a while that it’s the standing position that makes things easier for her.

I keep trying to work out what we are doing wrong, equally have tried absolutely every method to try and support him along, and did use Pooland too but it hasn’t helped. Just hoping it eventually clicks, and preferably before school. He doesn’t have accidents as always goes once in morning and once in evening with nappy, but need to get him to that next step 🙏

I did just push harder this evening and made him stay there for a long time, he has eventually pooped sitting down but it came with a lot of drama beforehand, which I can’t be handling every day 😅 full solidarity with you and the other posters, a really trying time and we find it so emotionally exhausting for us all. There will be a time we can all look back and laugh…..😆

Has he got a stool to rest his feet on. Could he be scared of getting splashed? What about putting dish/ bowl (only used for this) in the toilet bowl and explain it will catch the poo like a nappy and then he can flush it away.

Yippee @Red010286! Great progress. I hope you get a repeat of that soon, minus the drama!

i saw your message at the moment as I was standing outside the bathroom, and it spurred me on to actually push a bit harder as realised how long it had been, so thank you ☺️ all the best of luck for you guys too!

Have you done blowing bubbles on the toilet around the time her would normally go? I remember something about it relaxing certain muscles or something as well as distracting.