4 year old wets himself everyday

[Cliffordthbigreddog]

Help!

My son who is 4 years and 3 months, wets himself at nursery each day.

I've noticed he tends to hold his wee until he is really desperate and then runs to the toilet or will simply just do it in his trousers and cry.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can get him to go to the toilet before he gets really desperate?

Thanks

Hi OP, this is very very normal, especially with boys. Some children seem to just “get it” and others take much longer, like my DS who was still wetting himself regularly when he started school she 4.9.
hes much much better at 5.5. Don’t worry, just try and chill with it, I was a bit stressy with my DS because I had another little one to think about and I wish I hadn’t put pressure on him now.
they all get there eventually..

Is it just at nursery or does he always procrastinate? At nursery maybe check if he is ok with the toilets there? ( I remember wetting myself as a child at a place where I was scared of the loo!).
If he's just having too much fun, maybe get him one if those potty training watches that beeps to remind them to go? The novelty may help too

TRAINING WATCH V2 - A water-resistant potty reminder device for boys and girls to train your baby with fun/musical interval reminder and : Amazon.co.uk: Fashion share.google/fLpIFNE1m4hXigHbW KIDS TRAINING WATCH V2 - A water-resistant potty reminder device for boys and girls to train your baby with fun/musical interval reminder and : Amazon.co.uk: Fashion share.google/fLpIFNE1m4hXigHbW

Can’t nursery just remind him to go/take him every 2 hours? A potty watch as recommended by PP would work too. You could also ask if they would do a sticker chart that could equal a reward at home.

And generally with this age group it’s that they don’t want to give up playtime so dragging out accidents to ensure they are inconvenient can be very effective. So ask nursery to be as hands off as possible so he needs to sort it out himself with regard to undressing/dressing, also insist he tries the loo again to check for more, and ask if he can bag up his wet clothes himself, then he washes his hands. He should learn quickly that the toilet is the quickest and easiest option!

Is he mostly toilet trained, or not at all? Is there something about the nursery toilet he's scared of?

Sounds very normal op i really wouldn't worry.
He will get the hang of it.

At 4 and 3 months I don't think it's very normal.
Is he just wetting at nursery or at home too?

It’s really not normal for a child that is 4 years 3 months. Very occasional accidents sure but definitely not daily. Plenty of summer babies go to school younger than 4 years 3 months and presumably he’s also starting in school in September so OP is right to ask for advice to try to proactive tackle it rather than just hoping he’ll get the hang of it. That would be fine advice for 2.5-3YO but not a 4YO that’s starting school soon!

if it’s at nursery, he’s probably got FOMO or is worried that he won’t be able to come back to whatever he’s playing with as he left it because someone else will take it or change it. The nursery should be able to help.

At home I make him go every couple of hours so doesn't wet himself regularly here. I have noticed he's perhaps leaking a bit to relieve some pressure, before he goes to the toilet.

Obviously not practical for nursery but if he's doing it at home, let him go about naked and try to make a game of it, worked wonders with my son.

You need to stop making him go at home. He hasn't learnt to self-regulate so when he goes to nursery and no-one reminds him he wets himself.

Let him self regulate at home. When he wets himself make him help clean it up, get himself undressed, cleaned up and re-dressed. Get him to help with the laundry. Make it far more effort to wet himself than nip to the toilet.

When he goes to the toilet unprompted give him a sticker/sweet/some kind of reward. Get him a few small prizes that he can choose from each day he is dry all day.