4 year old still in pull ups at night?

[Mumanddone]

were on night 3 of trying to get out 4 year old out of pull ups. We just went for it - she always had a pretty soaked nappy on waking. It’s been messing with my sleep and causing loads of arguments in all honesty. Pull ups work but my husband thinks we should be training her at night. For context, DD is 5 end of November and has been potty trained in the day since 2.5 with no issues. Will it happen without intervention?

I remember my siblings, cousins and neighour kids wetting the bed a lot between four and seven and being punished for it and told they were bad and making work for the adults. Children aren't different now, we just understand them better.
Conversely now I don't know any bedwetters and my own children have never wet the bed even once, because kids are usually allowed to use nappies as long as they need them.
A very warm nappy in the morning will show you that they are weeing on waking rather than during the night. In that case waking them up with a potty can help.

Eric consultation gave interesting advice about the bladder being like a balloon and children need to stretch it with plenty to drink in the day. Also, to aim for clear wees. DD could understand this so we used clear wees goal as it was under her control to a certain extent. We talked loads about stretching her balloon. Just sort of happened naturally then. No stress.

DD aged about 3 at bedtime one night as I was about to put her nappy on. 'No nappy!' Me 'but you will wet the bed' (nappy was always full in the morning). Her 'no I won't' So I didn't bother to argue the point with her thinking when she woke up wet she would be happy to put the nappy on the next night. Reader - she did not wake up in a wet bed, never wore a nappy again and I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times she ever wet the bed thereafter. DS on the other hand I lost count of the number of wet beds I changed and I can't even remember now what age he was when he was finally reliably dry. I now have 2 DGC both still in night time nappies at ages 7 and 4. They all take their own sweet time.

I don’t remember it lasting long before he just started doing it himself. This was the advice I was given at the time but things change, I’m going back 20 years.

I'd also like to know what everyone did before pull ups.

Yes, of course.

My point was that children were dry, otherwise we would be aware and dealing with it. This wasn’t the case.

As others have said before pull ups children wet the bed because they couldn't help it and grown ups shamed them into thinking they did it on purpose.

Wet beds, probably.

One of mine was dry at night before 3 and one still isn't at 9. I don't think it's that unusual. My brother and DH were still wetting the bed at 8 or 9 according to my mum and MIL. No idea if it's more common now or just more talked about.

Mine was in pull ups till about 10. Very late but not uncommon in boys.

This is true, I shared only with close friends, exacting out of fear of being judged as a parent. So very few people knew and I bet this why some people are unaware that it's not uncommon

I’m sure SOME people did this but for lots of parents, myself included we had children that managed to stay dry at night. It’s not a personal attack, obviously times change and so do parenting styles but to suggest that before pull-ups children were being shamed left right and centre is just absurd.

I can see why you'd want to keep it to yourself or just close trusted friends to be honest. As this post has shown many people think those who have children who are not dry at night are just being lazy and don't want to put the effort in to train their child. It must be quite disheartened to read some of the very sanctimonious comments from some posters.

It is coming across as a bit of a moral attack from some of those commenting to be honest. Your child didn't wet the bed from a young age which is great but it's disingenuous to suggest that it's more common these days for children to not be dry at night.

Unfortunately many children were shamed, some of them have posted that experience on this very thread it just appears more common now because we talk about it more openly.

Both my DC were in pull ups at night until 6 or 7. They were potty trained within a week for daytime, when they were 2 (DS was nearly 3) and had very few accidents.

We had a bed wetting alarm for DD, but it didn't work for DS - the alarm simply woke everyone else while he did a wee and slept through it!

I don’t think it’s lazy to use pull ups, it’s just the opposite of how a lot of people used to parent.
I read somewhere a while back that children are in nappies and pull ups for longer now and they have been made so absorbent that children aren’t uncomfortable meaning they will happily stay in them.
When my oldest was little (25 + years ago) the rule at his nursery was unless they had a disability they had to be potty trained for day time, he was two and a half. This was just standard and 99% of the class managed it.
Again I apologise if I sound judgmental because I’m not, I’m just curious as to why each generation seems to be doing things later than the last.
My work colleague for example was shocked at the suggestion you’d try to teach phonics before reception age, I see comments on here all the time from teachers saying children are starting school not potty trained or can’t use cutlery.. Why is that?
Did we all 30 years ago put to much pressure on children forcing them into waking at night for the toilet/ using knives and forks/ recognising the alphabet and generally stressing them out and bullying them into compliance when they were to young or are children more capable than we give them credit for and are parents not doing that enough now?

SunComeBack that article and your post are about day time training though which some parents are indeed leaving until later but this thread is about night time dryness which is a separate situation and not linked to daytime dryness. As those who have commented have explained most of those still wet at night would have been dry for years in the daytime.

Echoing pp, night time dryness is hormonal, you cannot train it. Dd is a few months out of pull ups and she is 10. Night wetness is very common at age 4. Please see the ERIC website for more information on the topic.

I agree with this, especially re learning alphabet etc. People are dumbing kids down now, mainly for their own convenience, teaching them things takes effort. Kids are little sponges and much more capable than we give them credit for

The PP means at night, it can take much longer.

Well or they just had double sheets and plastic covers - so if the child wet the bed, you just whip off the top sheet and cover and there’s a new set underneath.

I agree with those saying there are many reasons for a child not being dry at night but it is not always hormonal and the ERIC/NHS information supports that.

If it was as simple as having enough / not having enough hormone bring the only reason then medication would be the only way of improving the situation whereas there are a range of reasons and the ‘treatment’ follows an assessment to determine the reason and provide the best treatment.

Children can learn without any shaming being involved.

This seems to be one of those parenting things that people feel judged about even when no one is judging.

My DCs were in nighttime nappies til around 7 or 8. They were both dry in the day shortly after 2nd birthday:

My DS was 7 and still have accidents, you can’t train it.

Kids don’t generally go to school overnight.