4 year old still in pull ups at night?

[Mumanddone]

were on night 3 of trying to get out 4 year old out of pull ups. We just went for it - she always had a pretty soaked nappy on waking. It’s been messing with my sleep and causing loads of arguments in all honesty. Pull ups work but my husband thinks we should be training her at night. For context, DD is 5 end of November and has been potty trained in the day since 2.5 with no issues. Will it happen without intervention?

Mother of 4 grown ups here. it will happen very easily when her body allows. Pretty much all milestones do. Don't stress. Pull ups and a morning wash to prevent smells.. blink and it will be done

What an odd response. You don't need to spend a night with multiple children to know this is perfectly normal...

As everyone else is saying it’s hormonal. 4 is the average age to be dry at night so plenty of kids will be much later and the ‘normal’ age range is anything from 2 to 6. It’s generally not considered a medical issue until 7. Anecdotally, I had this conversation with a sizeable group of mums when our DC were in the Autumn term of reception and it was 50:50 and I know of at least 2 that weren’t dry until 6 because they gave me the left over pull ups for my youngest! There are definitely things you can do to help it along- push fluids in the day to increase bladder capacity but restrict them after dinner, no blackcurrant (don’t ask me why but it’s a thing), no chocolate in the PM because of the caffeine and 2 wees at bedtime before and after bath to ensure an empty bladder. But those aren’t going to work until the hormone is being produced so I’d 100% go back to pull ups until you have a full week of them being dry every morning.

It’s not hormonal. It just takes you to take the plunge. I got an alarm for DD (6) and after 5 nights she was trained. Has had one wet night in 6 months, alarm was 100% the way forward. Going to use it on 4 year old son in a couple of weeks

DS was quite easy to potty train but stayed in pull ups overnight until a few weeks before he turned 7.

I agree with all that have said it’s hormonal, but just a different spin on it.

My DC’s paediatrician suggested we try to get out of pull ups at night, due to some health issues.
I was of a similar mindset, that they weren’t ready as pull ups were so heavy in the morning. Turns out, they were just not getting up when they woke in the morning and weeing in the pull up.

I know I’m probably in the minority. But just wanted
to share incase!

I then left a potty next to the bed for a while, so they didn’t need to go far if they woke up before morning!

I'd also take with a pinch of salt that everyone else is dry. I had a friend who said her son was dry from age 3, and it stressed me out for ages before she happened to mention that she took him for a "dream wee" at 11pm every night before she went to bed!

We also just removed the nappies/pull ups, a few months after day time training, and they managed fine.

Was going to post the same thing. These guys were great. I had a telephone consultation and they gave so much useful information. I don't think you need a telephone consultation yet as 4 is still very young, but handy to know its available if needed in the future.

I caught my DD doing exactly that- so it is a possibility! She was almost 4 at the time. But I don’t think it applies in OP’s case since she’s tried removing the pull ups and DC is waking soaked after an accident so it sounds like they’re weeing in their sleep rather than just being too lazy to get up in the morning like mine was 🙄🤣

Two of mine weren't dry at night until well after 7 yo although my oldest was dry much earlier. They have to be ready for it, it's pointless forcing it. It's nothing to do with incompetent or lazy parenting.

We often had their friends over for sleepovers who were the same. They also had primary school residentials and camping trips and the staff said it was very common and would discreetly ensure they were in pull-ups.

It’s hormonal NOT behavioural.
If your husband thinks a child can be trained do do something while they’re asleep. How about he trains his adult self to do a brand new task while asleep every night first.
I completely understand where you’re coming from but it’s just now how this works. My daughter was in night pull ups until 5.5 (dry from 5). She had one night time accident after this and it was so distressing for her- we needed to obviously change the bed and gave her a quick bath a 2am. There’s no need to put yourself or child through this so why would you.
Some children (more often boys) can be wetting at night until aged 12 or even older. This is less common but again hormonal rather than learned behaviour.
Please be kind to yourself/child. The fact you’re caring so much is what’s important. The cliche every child is different, is what applies. Stay in pull ups until dry for a couple of weeks at least I’d say. Do what you feel is best, not what you”should” do.
❤️

My son (5) is a deep sleeper and would wake up the next morning in a sodden pull up. Last couple of months, pull up has been feeling lighter and lighter.

We started to wake him for a wee at around 11pm when we go to bed. He goes, and the next morning he's been dry. It's not something you can really train, but you need to wait until their bladder control gets longer or they wake themselves up for a wee.

He's gone to bed the last few nights without a pull up and so far, all dry 🤞🏻

My son is 15 years old. Still wets the bed approximately once a week. Medication, alarms, all sorts of testing makes no difference.
His brother was fully dry about 5 and his sister decided nappies weren’t for her day or night when she was barely 2.
Do not make a big deal of this, your son is 4 and there should be no mess or arguments, he needs pull-ups for a bit longer. He’s different to your DD, that’s all.

Oh bless her - leave her in the pull ups until she is naturally dry. Dont cause her stress by removing them when she’s not ready. My child was in pull ups until year 3. It’s just how it goes.

It absolutely is hormonal.

Whilst I agree it's hormonal, we had a fairly interesting journey. My son was also 4 and wore night time pull ups which were always very wet every morning. But he was adamant he didn't want to wear them. So okay - we got the mats etc expecting wet sheets every day. But turns out he was fine, we still have an accident maybe once every two weeks. But mostly dry. I can only guess that he was dry most of the night and had a wee as he was waking up in the morning, because he could due to the pull up - there were a few instances where he was wet through to pj's due to the big morning wee. So no more pull ups and we're just super calm about any accidents.

This is what I thought too, this thread has been interesting

I assume before pull ups, families used nappies and washed a lot of sheets 🤷‍♀️

It's absolutely hormonal I do think it's that morning wee that is the last hurdle to overcome once they reach that point.
Anecdotal but follows that same trend - a friend of mine was stressing to me about it because her child was waking up with wet pyjamas so "nowhere near dry in the night"... Turned out the pyjamas were wet because the child wasn't weeing in the night, and was waking up just a bit too desperate. Friend started waking them up five minutes before they had been waking themselves and taking them straight to the toilet. Pretty soon they were waking up in time on their own.

I am constantly baffled by how children are developmentally and physically different now.

Why are more children not dry in the night, than say 25 years ago? Surely children’s hormones haven't changed? Worrying things going on if they have.

There isn't I suspect any change in how many children are not dry at night at 4 now compared to decades ago. It's just people are much more likely to discuss it and treat it as normal (which it is) than they did in the past.

I have 9 children. Youngest is 4.5 yrs and not dry at night yet. Most of mine have become dry between 4 & 5. I've had one who was dry by 2 and one who wasn't dry until after the age of 6.

Just to add that this is often familial and if mum or dad were early or late to be dry at night often their children are too. I know I wasn't dry until after 6 so it didn't surprise me that one of mine was quite late and the others mostly not very young. According to leaflets I've been given 50% of 5 yr olds wet the bed.

My son was just shy of 7 before he was dry at night. Lots of his friendship group were the same. Don't sweat it, they get there when they get there with night time dryness. Anything after 9 I think you can get onto the incontinence team

I have my own children, worked with young children professionally and volunteering including overnight stays, had young family members, none wet the bed.

An older girl did, brought to notice by her parents due to guide camp. One in many years.

Maybe a small sample but the NHS doesn't mention anything about ‘hormones’ neither does the Eurology Care Foundation. Another UK site talks of a chemical.

The NHS advice is very much about parental action to support their child. No mention of hormones. Implies to bedwet over the change of five is not usual and that children need to learn to stay dry during the night.

Bladder and Bowel UK data is 20% only 5 year olds and 10% of 7 year olds are not dry at night. The vast majority therefore are dry.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/bedwetting/