4 year old terrified of public toilets

[MrsBxxx]

My 4 year old is fully toilet trained but is absolutely terrified of public hand dryers so will not use public toilets. I carry a carry potty around with me and, though it's bulky and a bit of a nuisance, it brings him peace of mind that he can use it. We are going to Florida in the summer and I'm worried about him using the toilet on the plane. Ideally, it would be a lot easier if I didn't have to carry a potty everywhere but he freaks out when I try to get him to use public toilets. It's the noise (he's on the never ending waiting list for an autism referral which I suspect makes his aversion much worse). I have tried showing him that I can turn the hand dryer off in a disabled toilet, I carry his headphones everywhere so that he can put them on and not worry about the noise and have tried explaining it to him but nothing is working. Has anyone experienced this or can offer any advice on what to try? I don't want to force him as he's so scared but I would like to try to help him overcome this fear. Thank you.

Dd used to do this. I just took her anyway to be honest, since there often wasn't another option and I wasn't going to carry a potty for a 4 year old. I did used to cover her ears for her if they came on and she's gradually got used to it. She still doesn't like them now she's a bit older, but she will tolerate them. I don't really know what else you can do, other than headphones, as it's not something that you'll always be able to avoid. Could you try getting him used to the hairdryer at home, perhaps with him controlling it, so it becomes a more familiar sound?

@SendBooksAndTea Yeah, I just don't know if I can do that to him, he shakes with fear and sobs. He is actually getting better with the hairdryer and the hoover at home so maybe that's the progress I need to focus on and continue on from there! Thank you for replying

We’ve just flown long haul with our equally terrified 3.5 year old. Had ear defenders which helped, but honestly we just bribed him with little wrapped presents 🫣 He also wore a pull up just incase he refused to go at all. Tip for Florida - the public toilets flush themselves which terrified my DS. If you put a post it note over the sensor, they won’t flush until you do it manually.

I was so nervous about it, but he improved so much while we were there he now doesn’t have to wear his ear defenders in public toilets which is a million miles away from him crying at the suggestion of using one. Best of luck OP, don’t stress too much (& have a fab holiday!) x

@Username0446 thanks so much for this. I've been buying little bits and pieces to entertain him and our 2 year old so will wrap them and try that. I also didn't know that about toilets in Florida so really appreciate that tip- will be adding post it notes to the packing list! Thank you so much.