Toilet training 4 year old.

[moreofalurker]

Ladies please help I have no idea what to do!
my son is 4 years old. Perfectly healthy. Can speak and understand . No health conditions or concerns.
I toilet trained him when he was 2. He goes to the toilet for a wee everytime. He never has any accidents.
number 2 has been a problem always. He knows when he has to go. He knows he needs a poo he will just sit there and do it in his knickers every single time. I am literally relying on my sixth sense to catch him before he does it and run to the toilet. I don’t know what to do. I ask him why he won’t go to the toilet he says I don’t want to speak about it or I don’t want to tell you.
I have tried everything. I asked him if he knows when the poopee is ready and he needs to go and he says yes. He will go and hide in every corner of the house to not do it in the toilet. I’ve asked him if he feels scared he said no. I’ve asked him does it hurt he said no. Girls please be kind I’m just a mum. I have a 10 year old daughter and she was a breeze I never had this problem with her.

any advice any guidance would be hugely appreciated. Thank you in advance

If you are in UK, I'm assuming thr child does not go to nursery but is due to start school in September? Things may sort themselves very quickly if he starts school and realises that none of the other boys poo in their pants. He will want to be like them and he will conform to the norms. If there is a medical reason it will be worth getting it investigated now so hopefully things are sorted by the end of the simnet, or you can explain to school what stage you are at.

I wish I could help you @moreofalurker but I’m in a similar position. 4yr old boy who was potty trained for wees at 2.5, got it immediately and barely ever had an accident, he also did a poo the first day of potty training, knew what to do straight away. But he was constipated and I think it hurt him and he had refused to poo on the potty ever since, he even withheld completely for about 4 days immediately after which was awful, then took ages for him to not be upset about pooing even in a nappy.

He will only poo in a nappy, no amount of begging, bribing, cajoling etc works. I have managed to persuade him to do it in his nappy whilst sitting on the loo but that’s as far as I’ve got with it.
He’ll only do it at home as well. Never out and about or at nursery.
I’m just really really hoping he realises what the other kids do when he starts school and wants to do the same.

The website Eric has some good recourses so might be worth a look.

My daughter was similar, and we had some success with the 'Poo goes to pooland' app/story, which was recommended when we asked for advise from the health visitor. In her case it turned out she didn't know when she needed a poo (so maybe slightly different), but we did have some success with encouraging her to do so before bed.

My DS hated the feeling of sitting down when doing a 💩 said it hurts too much, so I had to put a nappy on him and he went behind the sofa and went standing up, like he always had been doing. What we did was to literally sit him on the toilet with drinks, snacks, books etc., and I told him we were not going out until he had been, I knew it was becoming that he needed to go, so I directed his attention, no lie it took a while, but he finally went and we praised him and kept telling him that it was easy, no pain and that he needs to use the toilet every time from now on. Next day prepared for another sit in, he went virtually straightaway.