Toilets at nursery but not at home.

[Angua22]

My 3.5 year old has been in pants for at least 7-8 months now, has had no accidents at nursery (mostly) for the last 3-4 months and goes to the toilet independently. She used to be alright at going at home, she knows when she needs but sometimes needs coaxing or reminding to go. Recently though she refuses point blank saying she ‘doesn’t need’ but then has an accident. I feel I’m between a rock and a hard place as I find myself getting frustrated and angry when she has an accident but also it’s a big to-do with crying and moaning when I ask her to go. Any helpful advice? Really feeling like the worst mum ever at this point :(

My 4 year old sometimes insists they don't need a wee when I know they will. I don't argue I just take them to the toilet and then like magic the wee comes.
Has there been any major life changes recently though as that can cause regression?

No nothing at all! It’s so strange. She just doesn’t not seem to want to go to the toilet for wees at least. Trying to convince her to go is like I’m trying to get her to eat the dogs dinner or something. Big tantrums and it’s honestly exhausting at this point. But just there she went and did a poo on her own. I give up 😂

What happens when she has an accident?

One thing that I've had success with, with slightly younger children, is to make it into a bit of a competition - for example, "we are going out soon, we both need to try for a wee before we go (telling them, not giving them the choice), I bet I can do a wee before you!" Then I go into the loo and make a big to-do about how I'm doing a wee, whilst they use the potty (in the corner of the kitchen). When I go back in they've usually done one!
If they have an accident, I just act really nonplussed about it "oh dear, there are some clean clothes in that basket - can you sort yourself out and put the wet clothes in the washer please", I don't give positive or negative attention.