Almost 3 year old won't poo on potty/toilet

[Nic91]

My daughter is almost 3 and is deaf with cochlear implants. She has good understanding of using the potty/toilet but won't poo on it, only in her knickers. Started potty training at just over 2 1/2 and she grasped wees quickly but not poos. Frustratingly, she has recently regressed and having more wet accidents. It feels like it will never end or get better. She attends nursery who are very supportive and has accidents there also. It is really disheartening and I've tried everything. We potty trained my now 10 year old son at age 3 and he got it within a week with only the odd accident thereafter.
Any advice welcome please.

No advice but just reassurance. I suspect there is an almost identical post from me on this forum from a few years ago. It was so frustrating, and worrying. We went through so many pairs of pants. We tried every trick and trip that we came across, and nothing worked. We had a good six months of pooing in pants/weeing in the potty/toilet and then over about the period of a month, it just resolved.

This is a phase, and things will improve - but sending you lots of empathy and best wishes whilst it lasts!

Hi.

Thanks so much for your reply. 🙂 after reading your message, it is definitely reassuring. It is just frustrating as she has the understanding but is still having accidents throughout the week. I know it'll get better, just can't see the light at the end yet! Lol.
Thanks 😊

When my DD was having lots of wee accidents and I was feeling frustration as you are, I learnt quite by chance about learning readiness. It was a lightbulb moment for me because it helped me realise that it just wasn't important to her so she couldn't be bothered to say anything when she needed a wee. Remonstrating with her that she knew the words to use and was quite happy sitting on her sea-horse loo seat was a waste of time, so I stopped. In my new, relaxed mode, I carried on getting her to sit on the loo (she didn't want to use a potty) at set times, celebrating successes - and hand-washing soggy knickers. It took a few weeks but she did get it.

I just had a convo about this with the other mothers at my local play group and they all had issues with poo. Sounded like it’s a developmental thing and one day their kids just learnt it. My 3 year old isn’t pooing in the potty atm and I decided not to stress about it as one day she will get it. I keep telling her poo belongs in the potty.

Hi,

I definitely think it's just a phase and I've heard it is quite common just very frustrating for us parents! I've even shown her where the poo goes and we've flushed the toilet, she's waved and said bye lol. I think one day (hopefully soon) it'll just click.

Thanks.

My DD was 4 before she would poo on a potty or loo. Was dry at night by 2 and dry in daytime at 2.5. I remember feeling so stressed about it, worrying about school and my HV was so
reassuring about it. My DD was scared to do it on loo, would ask for a nappy. If we tried to encourage her she would hold it for days and be in agony.

One day she just decided to do it and that was that.

That's really reassuring- thanks. It gets worrying and increasingly frustrating as you feel you're not getting anywhere. Then one day- it clicks. Can't wait for that day! Lol. My DD is almost 3 so still fairly young and she's dry most days but chooses knickers or pull up to poo in. I know it is probably just a phase just feels never ending and tiring. I'm hoping it clicks before she starts school next September 🙏🏼 thanks for your message.