Poo ‘accidents’ and going back to pull ups

[NotMyDayJob]

My three year old got potty training really well including using the toilets for poos after potty training at the beginning of the year.

However for the last month she has only had poo accidents or done poos in her nappy in the morning before getting changed for the day.

i thought it was just a regression but I’m starting to think she doesn’t realise she needs to go, her poos are massive and messy, quite soft and sticky and cause a terrible mess. I’m having to throw out knickers and nursery have also been because they cannot be bagging up clothes completely covered in, bluntly, sh*t (and I don’t expect them too) and it’s really difficult to clean up without it getting everywhere.

I am going to call the GP after the weekend because I think something else is going on like constipation but would it be terrible to put her back in pull ups? She is good with wees even in a pull up before bed, but I can’t cope with clearing up her mess and I think nursery might ask for this too soon. I’m trying to let her not see it but it’s really getting me down.

would really appreciate any experiences or encouragement.

Why is she still wearing nappies at night?

Has she ever gone a night without peeing or pooping in a nappy?

I followed a potty training method that required the nappies be done with completely once training started. One cue for starting training was dry nappies first thing in the morning for a reliable period. Another was ability to predict when DC needed to poop - they would take themselves off to a quiet corner and not just poop while playing, walking, etc.

Along with getting rid of the nappies, we did a full on week of staying home and practicing using the loo, checking to make sure underpants were clean and dry, with DC helping to put wet undies in the laundry basket and dab up pee. I put a layer of thick, cheap towels in the DC's bed just in case of accidents at night but none happened.

The point of getting rid of the nappies was to avoid confusion - how could a DC in a busy environment where adults are often engaged with other children remember whether they had a nappy or underwear on? The full week devoted to establishing the new habit was key though.

Bribery also helped greatly for one of my DCs - a nice candy and high fives for every successful poop, along with a ceremonial waving off to the poop party that we did every time we flushed.

She’s still in a nappy/ pull up at night because she is not dry at night which is completely normal for a 3 year old.

sorry I am sure you mean well but your advice is completely unhelpful. She is pretty much toilet trained but we are having a problem with poos as described. Taking a week off work won’t stop them being so messy explosive and unpredictable.

Are you able to talk to her about it? How long was she reliably pooing on the toilet and was the consistency of her poo the same then? Could it be diet/allergy related?

It's completely fine she's still on nappies at night so don't stress over that.

I would however definitely consult a GP it sounds like she could be constipated and suffering from encopresis.

I have tried but despite the fact she is quite bright and seems to be able understand nearly everything else, frustratingly she won’t engage in this. The good thing is she doesn’t get upset but equally she also thinks it is quite funny. She was being really good for about two months but her poo consistency has always been quite mixed

Thank you, I’m not stressed about that and I don’t know what that other poster is talking about. Even if she’d been dry overnight I’d still want her to be dry a bit longer before taking the overnight pull up away.

i am going to call the GP but just looking for any other thoughts with it being the bank holiday.

I'd keep her in pants for now and call the GP as soon as possible on Tuesday morning. As stressful as it is I think it would probably confused her more to go back to pull ups during the day time.

I hope you manage to get an appointment asap and it sorted soon, if just be so uncomfortable for her. In the meantime try to encounter to go to the toilet as soon as she wakes up has lots to drink and maybe encourage her to go to the toilet after meals or at set points in the day.

My youngest was difficult to potty train, she was terrifed of pooing and felt safer doing it in her pants. We decided to just accept that would be the way it was for a while inconvenient as it was, we just cleaned her up each time and reminded her that pees go in the potty/toilet. It took a couple of months but one day she just did it in the potty and that was that.

She wasn't dry at night until she was 9 btw so glad we didn't wait for that!

If these were normal poos I’d be ok with that, but they are so messy, it’s goes everywhere, it takes ages to clean her up and 9 times out of 10 her knickers and leggings have to go in the bin

For what it is worth I don’t think she is actually that uncomfortable. She happily eats etc and we do take her to the toilet, she just doesn’t seem to be able to go at those points where she used to be able to previously

My DD is going through this atm, her poo time is quite predictable though so we sit her on potty after every meal.