Nursery expectations around potty training?

[wishIwasonholiday10]

I have already asked nursery staff about this but the answers were quite vague. How do you decide when a newly potty trained toddler is ready to go to nursery without nappies? Nursery basically said it was up to us but if they needed to change her more than 5-6 times a day they would recommend going back to nappies. We started today and are hoping to send her in on Tuesday in underwear but the first day hasn’t been very encouraging.

It's mostly likely that you need to expand the estimate to several weeks, rather than a few days. Accidents will gradually decrease, but it's normal for them to go to nursery in pullups until that happens.

Totally depends on the dc. Plus they get distracted at nursery and don’t have mum constantly saying “let’s try for a wee”.

I would decide after the weekend. I have just sent them in pants after we have started potty training; with lots of changes of clothes! Both of mine had accidents at nursery for months after they were sorted at home.

Depends on how proactive the nursery is at helping with the training. If they are supporting you and helping by training the child with you e.g. reminding them to go for a wee, then quite early on.

If they are just expecting the child to be trained and remember to go even while engaged in an activity, the it could easily be weeks.

I would see how it goes. Day 1 was rubbish for us but by day 4 DD had it down and has only had occasional accidents in the 8m since.

I did it over a longer holiday (2 weeks, not a weekend) so it didn't matter as they were 'trained'.

Our nursery is brilliant with potty training. The first few days they make a point of taking the child to the toilet/potty every 30 mins, then they start letting the child tell them when they need to go, but will also recognise the signs of them needing to and will encourage them to the toilet. No issues with any amount of accidents. DC2 basically potty trained himself one weekend and was totally accurate and dry at home but had a few accidents at nursery from being too engrossed in what he’s playing with. They just change him and get on with the day.

When our DC was a preschooler the average age for training was 3+. It was quite common for parents to start training over a long weekend having briefed nursery that DC would be in pants from return. We all expected 4 or 5 sets of wet clothing for a week or so. Nursery were brilliant, but they can't be quite as proactive as parents. However, that's all part of the learning curve

Personally I think it's confusing to put a child in pullups once they're potty training. Always sent kids to nursery in pants as soon as they had done a few days of training at home. That was completely accepted and encouraved by nursery. Never been an expectation of using pullups.

We started potty training in December with good results initially. Here we are 4 months later still having some poo issues but absolutely no pee issues. Our DS is dry through the night too but we put a pull up on him incase.

Still trying to master the poo though, that might be another few months. Nursery are fine as long as we give them at least 5 pants and make sure to take out the dirty ones from their bag every day.

Both mine were having minimal accidents by day 3 at just turned 2. It definitely wasn't a process that took weeks. One was potty trained during a lockdown but the other one was in nursery after a few days in pants and totally fine. Something can definitely just click and you've got a good few days to go so I wouldn't worry yet.

Thanks all for advice! I definitely think it would be confusing to go back in pull ups for nursery so if she’s not ready for nursery in pants I think we just have to go back to nappies and try again in a few months.

Its still not going well on day 3. Only one wee started in the potty and around 10 changes of clothes. Still going to try for a few more days to see if she gets it. I managed 3 hours without an accident by closely watching and prompting her quite frequently but nursery won’t be able to manage that on a 1 to 6 staff ratio. DD also needs help with her clothes so can’t just take herself to the potty either. She is 2y9m but gross motor skills are way behind other kids her age.

What's your method ? Are you taking her regularly ? You might need to decrease your intervals perhaps.

I am prompting her frequently but not forcing it when she doesn’t want to go as she was starting to get distressed by it. Some of the accidents were very frequent like 4 in an hour after having a normal sized drink so I wasn’t prompting her that frequently.

I have put her in underwear straight away as she wanted to wear big girl pants so I went with that but maybe it was a mistake. She definitely didn’t want to be bare bummed.

I've done underwear straight away with both of my children so it's not necessarily a mistake.
Day 1 with both of mine I've taken them to the potty every 15 minutes. My little girl got upset by that I remember, so I actually put an alarm on my phone and then said oh- the phone says you have to go on the potty. Weirdly she would do that.
Like Pavlov's dogs.

Maybe I just wasn’t prompting often enough. I was aiming for 30-45 min with additional prompts if we were going into the garden or about to eat.

My son fully potty trained in pull ups. It wasn’t until his nappies were always dry that we switched to underpants and sent him to nursery like that. His nappies then naturally became dry overnight and we binned them altogether.

Honestly, @wishIwasonholiday10 it doesn't sound like yiur dd is ready. I would leave it a fee mote months.

We tried with dd when she was about 2yr 3months because her childminder had said she was showing an interest however she was wetting 2-3 times an hour despite being taken to the potty every 10 mins.

We left it a few months and then she came home from the childminder one Thursday. Took her nappy off and said she was too old for it and wanted her big girl pants. She had maybe 1 or 2 accidents in the first 2-3 days and has been dry ever since.

I appreciate I got VERY lucky. But I am also a firm believer that potty training is only hard when they are not ready.

@wishIwasonholiday10 @Ihatelittlefriendsusan We had a similar experience to this. We and the nursery tried twice at the nursery’s instigation but even they had to accept DS wasn’t ready. Then one day he suddenly ‘got it’ and it was clear he just hadn’t been ready before. He’s barely had an accident since, but I kept him in pull ups until the accidents stopped. Personally I couldn’t deal with the anxiety of him peeing on the sofa, etc but I don’t think it held him back. (We also tried the nappy off approach on an earlier attempt and he just peed straight on the floor without hesitation).

I don’t think she’s ready yet either. Try again in a few months.

I recommend pants and easy to pull up leggings. They get the feeling wet and they help soak up some of the pee.

Lots of prompting means they switch off from having to think about it.

I agree she’s probably not ready yet so we are going back to pull ups for nursery this week. Strangely she did ask to use the toilet when we went out this afternoon but hasn’t at home. We will try again in a few months time.