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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Potty training help 3 yo

3 replies

Tafal · 28/03/2025 18:57

Sorry if this is long.

My little one has just turned 3yo and we have been trying to potty train honestly for about 6 months. I feel she is 80% of the way there - hasn't had poo accidents for about 4 months but every day is a lottery of whether she will stay dry or have wee accidents every couple of hours. We seem to have been stuck at this stage for so long and I don't know what to do anymore.

Sometimes she will have a good few days and we will think she has cracked it, only to go back to multiple accidents a day. We encourage her to go on the potty or toilet throughout the day but most of the time she says she doesn't need it and then it can become a big battle trying to persuade her to even sit on and it can descend into tears quickly so I try to avoid this and take her lead if she says she doesn't need to go. The problem is then she will often end up having an accident shortly after.

We have threatened to go back to nappies a few times but she is always very adamant she does not want this and the only time we can even get a pull up on her is for bedtime.

We have tried sticker charts, rewards, all the normal things to try but there has not really been a difference when we've done this, she has never been very bothered.

It also does not seem to bother her when she is wet. Sometimes she will say she's had an accident and other times she will just not say anything until we notice she is wet.

Has anyone been in a similar boat that had any advice? I feel we probably started too early in hindsight but she did seem to show signs of readiness at the time, and then it got to a point where we felt we were beyond return so have been plodding on with it for what seems like forever. Most of my friends' and family's experiences seem to have been so easy compared to this, done in a few days of weeks and not so torturous as it seems to have been for us. I just feel really down about it all and that we must be doing something wrong. We have an 18 month old and I am dreading this time with her now as well.

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Anon501178 · 28/03/2025 23:07

Sorry no real advice but didn't want to read and run....feel your pain as my eldest was sort of like this (i think we started too early too) however youngest cracked it day and night in a week (learnt from the first time and started later) so they are all very different.
Have you spoken to the health visitor or GP? Also the ERIC website is good.
Only advice I would recommend is try not to pressure her as they really seem to clam up otherwise and go backwards.
Also, what does she drink? Certain drinks and even foods can apparently irritate the bladder.

skkyelark · 31/03/2025 16:58

We went through something similar, and I think I'd track good days/bad days for a bit and really look for patterns. Is it when she's a bit poorly, when she's in a busy place, when she's particularly absorbed in play, at the end of a week at nursery, or maybe when she's at home and the toilet/potty is always close at hand, so she pushes it a bit too far, all those sorts of things.

If you're pretty confident she needs to go, you could try 'now or in five minutes?' Sometimes that's enough control that they'll happy do it in 'five minutes'

Tafal · 08/04/2025 19:57

Thank you both for the replies, sorry for not coming back sooner.

I think I might mention it to my HV, but I have asked a couple of times at nursery and they always say that it's all very normal and I think well they must know what they're talking about as they see potty training kids every day!

DD has had a good few days so fingers crossed things may be looking up.

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